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SO, there's this guy, and my friend and I are pretty sure he's an ESTP. He's close with my friend (INFJ), and he has this girlfriend (IDKW- "I don't know what" but she's the perfect definition of "evil bitch" :p).

Problem is, he seems really messed up, and I'd really like some input on the matter >< of course I would relay the message to my infj friend cause she's closer to him.

He started dating this girl last year, and he reasons were: she's hot, and it's for fun. By now he's really extremely infatuated with her. However, he knows that the relationship is unhealthy, and he knows some shady things about her. He knows that she's gone really far physically with other guys, cheated on many of her previous boyfriends, and that she was going to call him out last year and dump him in front of all her friends (she's the type who dates boy after boy for a sense of security). And he acts like he doesn't care. But now, he seems to be getting almost depressed. His grades suck (he used to be obsessed with good marks), he has few friends... And the more he realizes that this is an unhealthy relationship, the more he seems to cling to it. But he's a really talented guy and I think he could really flourish if this girl wasn't dragging him down.

I hardly even know what I'm asking, but can anyone give me any insight on this? And is there any way my friend could help him realize what's happening here? He really respects her and she's one of the only people he occasionally opens up to.
 
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SO, there's this guy, and my friend and I are pretty sure he's an ESTP. He's close with my friend (INFJ), and he has this girlfriend (IDKW- "I don't know what" but she's the perfect definition of "evil bitch" :p).

Problem is, he seems really messed up, and I'd really like some input on the matter >< of course I would relay the message to my infj friend cause she's closer to him.

He started dating this girl last year, and he reasons were: she's hot, and it's for fun. By now he's really extremely infatuated with her. However, he knows that the relationship is unhealthy, and he knows some shady things about her. He knows that she's gone really far physically with other guys, cheated on many of her previous boyfriends, and that she was going to call him out last year and dump him in front of all her friends (she's the type who dates boy after boy for a sense of security). And he acts like he doesn't care. But now, he seems to be getting almost depressed. His grades suck (he used to be obsessed with good marks), he has few friends... And the more he realizes that this is an unhealthy relationship, the more he seems to cling to it. But he's a really talented guy and I think he could really flourish if this girl wasn't dragging him down.

I hardly even know what I'm asking, but can anyone give me any insight on this? And is there any way my friend could help him realize what's happening here? He really respects her and she's one of the only people he occasionally opens up to.

one thing I have learned in life is that no matter how hard you try to shove goodness down peoples throats they will never change and only time will tell.

It sounds like he has to just run this relationship through.
I know an ESTP guy who dates this girl and she basically controls him with her emotions. she cries about things that really are not that important to her and really makes his life a pain in the butt.
because he has pretty week Fe I really think he tries to be sympathetic to her.
My Fe is through the roof, and I am telling you right now I would just slap the bitch for making him feel so shitty.

but I can't do that because everyone else in the room would just freak THE fuck out. lol

I would say if the INFJ isn't worried. you are probablly in good shape. even if it all feels wrong and such. sometimes people need to crawl out of their own dark places.
if he is an ESTP eventually he will emerge and seek positive, fun and risky enviornments once again.
maybe he should sleep around.
give her a taste of her own medicine.

I dunno.
I am pretty much just thinking out loud. ESTP's appreciate new ideas so anything to change up the situation would be good.

hey... question.
so... do you like him?
remember his life is HIS responsibility and on the outside some relationships may seem torturous but really thats it, as good as it gets for those people.
there are many differnt versions of love in this world. just saying.
 

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Giving advice is hard to do especially when you don't even know his true type. If he is an ESTP he will work it out on his own. We can put ourselves through quite a bit of abuse when we love someone but we eventually come out of it dump them.

One thing you can't do is make an ESTP do anything. You can plant an idea in his head but he will need to feel like he came up with the decision on his own.
 

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Giving advice is hard to do especially when you don't even know his true type. If he is an ESTP he will work it out on his own. We can put ourselves through quite a bit of abuse when we love someone but we eventually come out of it dump them.

One thing you can't do is make an ESTP do anything. You can plant an idea in his head but he will need to feel like he came up with the decision on his own.
you and this inception kick.
have you seen inception?

I often feel like I am an ESTP with the idea that "I am an INFJ" being implanted into my brain by my INFJ friend.
then again... who knows. it may or may not be true, but I have asked her about this and she says it is just me.

plus. I always feel like I am having ideas at the "same time" other people have them and just remember that...
I dunno.

um. so. yeah.
could I be ESTP treebob?
 

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wouldn't an ESTP resent an implanted idea?

I know I would... it would piss me off.
so maybe my friend has not implanted an idea into my head because i would be more angry with her rather than just confused by her actions.

ugh... confusion is a pretty shitty emotion.
 

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I would suggest you stay far away, when he snaps out of it he might try to take it out on you.
 
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Giving advice is hard to do especially when you don't even know his true type. If he is an ESTP he will work it out on his own. We can put ourselves through quite a bit of abuse when we love someone but we eventually come out of it dump them.

One thing you can't do is make an ESTP do anything. You can plant an idea in his head but he will need to feel like he came up with the decision on his own.
Dude. You're spot on. Everytime.
 

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you and this inception kick.
have you seen inception?

I often feel like I am an ESTP with the idea that "I am an INFJ" being implanted into my brain by my INFJ friend.
then again... who knows. it may or may not be true, but I have asked her about this and she says it is just me.

plus. I always feel like I am having ideas at the "same time" other people have them and just remember that...
I dunno.

um. so. yeah.
could I be ESTP treebob?
Yeah I saw inception.

INFJ and ESTP share the exact functions in reverse order so you could act similar at times I suppose.

Dude. You're spot on. Everytime.
How do you think I became the Doer King?
 

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If he is an ESTP he will work it out on his own. We can put ourselves through quite a bit of abuse when we love someone but we eventually come out of it dump them.

One thing you can't do is make an ESTP do anything. You can plant an idea in his head but he will need to feel like he came up with the decision on his own.
I agree, Tree Bob. You rule.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
My Fe is through the roof, and I am telling you right now I would just slap the bitch for making him feel so shitty.

but I can't do that because everyone else in the room would just freak THE fuck out. lol
this made me laugh XD

I would say if the INFJ isn't worried. you are probablly in good shape.
oh, the INFJ is very much worried :p

hey... question.
so... do you like him?
no. we used to have a thing, but I'm long over it. I know, I know, the fact that we used to be interested in each other might make it seem like I'm trying to ruin for him out of jealousy, but I'm really not. Admittedly, I don't like her, but the main reason is I'm just angry that he's wasting his talents and abilities all for this girl who brings out the worst in him. Plus, it matters a lot to my friend so it matters to me.
see, we thought that he'd just move on to another girl after a while, but he's just sinking further into this relationship. his initial reason for getting with her WAS because it was "for fun". Now it's like he holds onto this relationship for dear life, showering her with attention, even though he's admitted that the situation is unhealthy

Giving advice is hard to do especially when you don't even know his true type. If he is an ESTP he will work it out on his own. We can put ourselves through quite a bit of abuse when we love someone but we eventually come out of it dump them.

One thing you can't do is make an ESTP do anything. You can plant an idea in his head but he will need to feel like he came up with the decision on his own.
actually, the more I'm hearing on this thread, the more convinced I am that he is an ESTP... but there's definitely always the possibility that I've misjudged. Yeah, I had the feeling that ESTPs couldn't really be told what to do...
And by the way, TreeBob. I must say that you simply amaze me :p

Inception would have to be my movie of the year :)
 

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I wish I could help you further.
right now I feel as if I could keep asking questions to clarify the situation but honestly I would personally just put the problem in the back of my mind and wait patiently for the right moment to strike.

I can't wait to see how this pans out.

and there isn't anyway you can get him excited about another person...
cause if thats the case maybe he is falling in love with this girl.... ?
 
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