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I have many qualities, but obviously I lack enough courage.

I don't even know which one is my main fear.. I am tempted to ask what do you think might be my main fear based on reading my posts.

1) The fear of losing someone I love too much completely again
2) The fear of appearing stupid and foolish in front of people because of my thoughts/personal lifestyle
3) The fear of disappointing family and others because of not being able to excel in studies and certain things
as I should
4) The fear of being brainwashed again
5) The fear that someday I might wake up and realize I wasted my life on subconscious over reliance on social validation and blocking out my heart plus intuition in favor of doubtful overthinking. The fear that I might feel empty and grow with resentment because I kept my light down just over fear of others' unimportant interests
6) The fear that I might not be living a healthy life just because I appear overly eccentric
7) The fear that my previous depression might be mostly my fault, that a failure experienced in my studies could reflect a failure in me as a being
8) The fear that I might be more of a burden than a light to people in my life

I don't even know which fears to sort out first...how to prioritize..damn I need more organized filtering..I am working through them though. BAH!

I had that amazing intuitive vision of a fiercely independent, strong woman who doesn't seek too much reassurance for the grounds she will walk on..that vision fills me with a desire that rises all the way up to the skies and I can't wait for it to manifest into reality..However I know for me it takes time, patience..and also a dose of practical reality.
 

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like that you can admit to them all, my biggest fear is hurting people. I go throughout my day walking on eggshells to avoid offending anyone. I hate it but its not something that I can runaway from...​
 
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