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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi Ladies and Gentlemen,

I'm experiencing some kind of ENFP depression (I think).
I'm feeling about 3 new unfair things that I can't remedy everyday for the last 2 weeks.
The feeling is no good. Real no good.

I am new Help.
Can some experts here advise any remedy?
Or is there anything like SUSTAINABLE CONFIDENCE for ENFP?

Thanks in advance.
Jk
 

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Hi Ladies and Gentlemen,

I'm experiencing some kind of ENFP depression (I think).
I'm feeling about 3 new unfair things that I can't remedy everyday for the last 2 weeks.
The feeling is no good. Real no good.

I am new Help.
Can some experts here advise any remedy?
Or is there anything like SUSTAINABLE CONFIDENCE for ENFP?

Thanks in advance.
Jk
Hi there,

What kind of unfair things are you feeling?
 

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This may not be what you really want to hear, but I'm going to say it anyway: for the most part, ENFPs have self-confidence issues when life goes awry. This is because we want to be liked by everyone... it's part of who we fundamentally are... and if no one likes us (especially the people we want to like us), well who are we going to get our energy and confidence from? An ENFP with developed Thinking wouldn't fall prey to this habit quite as much, as they are more able to step outside of the situation, get some perspective, and look at the facts of the matter... still, I really don't believe that, for most ENFPs, if they were to be totally honest, there is such a thing as sustainable confidence without the presence and affection of other people.

Possibly a bleak way of looking at things, but probably true nonetheless.

What are you depressed about? The general unfairness of life? It's pretty unfair, for sure. Have you done any research into your enneatype? That may give you some other answers as well.
 
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This may not be what you really want to hear, but I'm going to say it anyway: for the most part, ENFPs have self-confidence issues when life goes awry. This is because we want to be liked by everyone... it's part of who we fundamentally are... and if no one likes us (especially the people we want to like us), well who are we going to get our energy and confidence from? An ENFP with developed Thinking wouldn't fall prey to this habit quite as much, as they are more able to step outside of the situation, get some perspective, and look at the facts of the matter... still, I really don't believe that, for most ENFPs, if they were to be totally honest, there is such a thing as sustainable confidence without the presence and affection of other people.

Possibly a bleak way of looking at things, but probably true nonetheless.

What are you depressed about? The general unfairness of life? It's pretty unfair, for sure. Have you done any research into your enneatype? That may give you some other answers as well.
About the "wanting to be like by everyone thing", isn't that an ENFJ issue? They're the ones who would go miles high just to please someone
 

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About the "wanting to be like by everyone thing", isn't that an ENFJ issue? They're the ones who would go miles high just to please someone
It's possibly an ENFJ thing as well (I test on the border of P and J frequently), but I know it's a feeling that's been brought up several times by other people here as well. I think it's probably an ENF thing, regardless of the P/J tendencies.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Incident 1: I tried my best to lend him some small money to clear a debt. The amount was not what he wanted, and he ignored me passing me each time, and later accused me of showing sympathy. This is unfair.
Incident 2: I signed up and studied for a tough property exam, guess what, the government announced last week that we need to sell 30 property on top of passing the exam to get our licenses.
Incdent 3: I start to feel god made a very big sacrifices for us. Instead of being like us, he has to watch us from on top. He gets nothing, except lotsa problem from human everyday. We get 'released' but he can't. This is so unfair too.
Incident 4: I told my colleague that she should be doing activity X rather than activity Y at the golden hours. it is obvious that she is wrong. She yelled back, and made me felt real guilty confrtonting her.
Incdent 5: I got paid the least (sales commission type) compared to them (fixed fat salary) every month, while i got to work hard for more deal to feed them. Instead of grattitude, I am shown no respect.
Incident 6: I was diagnosed wtih Diabetic with no apparent reason. And i got to jap myself 4 times a day. Why?
Incdent 7: I was supposed to sign a new business contract, but he just says he want to reconsider.
Incident 8: A Taxi driver hit my car from the side, he extorted for some money, but i refused. I made a police report, but later my insurance company says they had to pay him because the photos shows I'm in the minor road. I clarify he was on the illegal road, but the final photo of the taxi show him in an angle what is really bias. I insisted that is scam and we are going to court.

Incident 9: When i tell my gf about the unlucky and unfair things happening to me, but she was more in her 'own world' and logic, with her iphone and computer most of the time, rather than seeing what's wrong with me.

Finally, I exploded on Friday, but but but, my gf didnt return my sms.

Then,
Incident 9: My mum said my gf complained i had been very fierce to her.

It sound all like im winding here.
I'm crazy. I hope I'm doing well (and everything is fine) before i really crack.


>> MaggieRooWho, how do i get that developed thinging?
Your 'totally honest' logic seems like an alternative. And Im thinking about the 'radical turth' program.
I just did an online test, I am enneatype 8, the challenger top of page

Eights are self-confident, strong, and assertive. Protective, resourceful, straight-talking, and decisive, but can also be ego-centric and domineering. Eights feel they must control their environment, especially people, sometimes becoming confrontational and intimidating. Eights typically have problems with their tempers and with allowing themselves to be vulnerable. At their Best: self- mastering, they use their strength to improve others' lives, becoming heroic, magnanimous, and inspiring. Key Motivations: Want to be self-reliant, to prove their strength and resist weakness, to be important in their world, to dominate the environment, and to stay in control of their situation.


Tomorrow's going back to work, and Im feeling reserved and scared of more unlucky things waiting for me.

Jk
 

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Well, I need to correct you here... having J and P border line is very unlikely. J and P is the most distinctive one. The test you took fwill calculate the probability that you're a J or a P.

On the other hand, naybe you're right on the ENFP wanting the need to be liked by others. ENFJ would probably be more concerned on serving people cause they are so convinced that people love them.

Thanks
 

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naw b, i'm also thrown off when people don't like me. im definitely not a j. ENFJ's need everybody to get along, and generally be happy. ENFP's just need people to appreciate or at least respect them.

anyway.

it sounds like you've had a shit week. the only thing i can reccomend is to keep yourself open. if you're sad, be sad. but from here on out let the good things affect you as well as the bad.
 

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Good people have to deal with lots of bullshit but it makes them a stronger person
 
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one thing i try to do is "live life- not think it". i don't know about you but when i was depressed i tended to overthink and overanalyze.. nowadays i have a general rule: don't think about stuff, don't analyze everything.. in fact keep it to a minimum. my head used to be a whirl of crap. since i've cleared my head out and stopped trying to come up with deep explanations for everything it's been easy to keep my mood stable.

although yeah being liked is pretty much no.1 on mood lifters for us i think.
 

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Incident 1: I tried my best to lend him some small money to clear a debt. The amount was not what he wanted, and he ignored me passing me each time, and later accused me of showing sympathy. This is unfair.
Incident 2: I signed up and studied for a tough property exam, guess what, the government announced last week that we need to sell 30 property on top of passing the exam to get our licenses.
Incdent 3: I start to feel god made a very big sacrifices for us. Instead of being like us, he has to watch us from on top. He gets nothing, except lotsa problem from human everyday. We get 'released' but he can't. This is so unfair too.
Incident 4: I told my colleague that she should be doing activity X rather than activity Y at the golden hours. it is obvious that she is wrong. She yelled back, and made me felt real guilty confrtonting her.
Incdent 5: I got paid the least (sales commission type) compared to them (fixed fat salary) every month, while i got to work hard for more deal to feed them. Instead of grattitude, I am shown no respect.
Incident 6: I was diagnosed wtih Diabetic with no apparent reason. And i got to jap myself 4 times a day. Why?
Incdent 7: I was supposed to sign a new business contract, but he just says he want to reconsider.
Incident 8: A Taxi driver hit my car from the side, he extorted for some money, but i refused. I made a police report, but later my insurance company says they had to pay him because the photos shows I'm in the minor road. I clarify he was on the illegal road, but the final photo of the taxi show him in an angle what is really bias. I insisted that is scam and we are going to court.

Incident 9: When i tell my gf about the unlucky and unfair things happening to me, but she was more in her 'own world' and logic, with her iphone and computer most of the time, rather than seeing what's wrong with me.

Finally, I exploded on Friday, but but but, my gf didnt return my sms.

Then,
Incident 9: My mum said my gf complained i had been very fierce to her.

It sound all like im winding here.
I'm crazy. I hope I'm doing well (and everything is fine) before i really crack.


>> MaggieRooWho, how do i get that developed thinging?
Your 'totally honest' logic seems like an alternative. And Im thinking about the 'radical turth' program.
I just did an online test, I am enneatype 8, the challenger top of page

Eights are self-confident, strong, and assertive. Protective, resourceful, straight-talking, and decisive, but can also be ego-centric and domineering. Eights feel they must control their environment, especially people, sometimes becoming confrontational and intimidating. Eights typically have problems with their tempers and with allowing themselves to be vulnerable. At their Best: self- mastering, they use their strength to improve others' lives, becoming heroic, magnanimous, and inspiring. Key Motivations: Want to be self-reliant, to prove their strength and resist weakness, to be important in their world, to dominate the environment, and to stay in control of their situation.


Tomorrow's going back to work, and Im feeling reserved and scared of more unlucky things waiting for me.

Jk


Wow I really pity you... Life is so unfair.... You are a good person

Let me give a different opinion....
In times of hopelessness , why not lower a bit of our arrogance and turn to our creator? Don't get me wrong...I'm not preaching a religion... Cause regardless of any religion... if there is a god he should be listening right?
 
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