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I've know this person since we were teenagers, we are the same age, 41yrs old. I am new to Myers Briggs and it's telling me that we are more than likely not compatible. In my heart, I care and wish to love this person. As I read ISFJ profile, I was truly amazed how accurate it describes about ISFJ's. I wish that maybe their is a ISFJ female that is currently in a relationship with a INFJ male for more than 5 years and how they were able to work on there relationship. I need your help and advice. Hope someone is able to help me. Thank you. Sincerely, Johnny
 

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I actually think INFJ and ISFJ can be quite compatible. The attraction would be based more on having several similarities and thus mutual understanding rather than opposites attract kind of spontaneous chemistry. The similarities lie in both types having Fe as secondary and Ti as tertiary function. Both type of people will strive to look out for each other, to be nice to each other and please each other, but when threatened both can also become selfishly calculating. In this they can understand one another's view point, decisions, and support one another. The miscommunication comes from ISFJ having dominant introverted sensory function and INFJ having dominant intuitive function. When I try to talk to my ISFJ mother about something a bit more abstract for example I just don't find understanding in her. Occasionally she can kind of relate and add a bit, but conversation of this type with her just does not flow. However when I talk about concrete down to earth things then she can very easily relate, but I just feel bored and shallow talking about these subjects. Over time though I have grown a bit fascinated with how she sees the world, as I have always rejected seeing it this way, but practical reality cannot be ignored. Another point of contention is that I like and welcome change, while she seems to want get firmly rooted where she is and not change anything. Both of us can also be quite stubborn. However we also complement each other is some ways - I can provide like a strategy, a long-term plan of action that she would listen to, and she is very good at noticing details and also taking care of practical things that I'd be too lazy/bored/inattentive to take care of. She is also a much better homemaker than I will ever be.

You also might want to visit this forum: Infjs Forums
I was browsing threads there and remember one INFJ guy posting that he is married to an ISFJ and he sounded content with the relationship.
 

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I've know this person since we were teenagers, we are the same age, 41yrs old. I am new to Myers Briggs and it's telling me that we are more than likely not compatible. In my heart, I care and wish to love this person. As I read ISFJ profile, I was truly amazed how accurate it describes about ISFJ's. I wish that maybe their is a ISFJ female that is currently in a relationship with a INFJ male for more than 5 years and how they were able to work on there relationship. I need your help and advice. Hope someone is able to help me. Thank you. Sincerely, Johnny
I've found that many ISFJs make for pleasant company. They genuinely care about others and quietly do their part to make sure that life and resources are sustained. That they do this in very conventional ways is part of their SJ nature, but their outlook is quite compatible between two healthy individuals who care about one another.

Actually I think any people of any type can get along if they make some effort to understand one another. The only hitch is that the survival strategies associated with type can introduce barriers which if the two parties are uninterested in can remain as a wall. If you care enough to understand one another you're fine.
 

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Listen to Vel.

I will only add that the reticence of some S types to engage in abstraction is not a reflection of any dullness but rather that the parts of our brain we are using for Ni they are using for Si. They will conceptualize in a different mental space that they will find equally difficult to communicate to us. ISFJ and ISFP both tend to be intellectually content as far as Ni subjects go but they can be quite studious in the domains they are interested in. Appreciating this goes a long way towards getting on with them.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I actually think INFJ and ISFJ can be quite compatible. The attraction would be based more on having several similarities and thus mutual understanding rather than opposites attract kind of spontaneous chemistry. The similarities lie in both types having Fe as secondary and Ti as tertiary function. Both type of people will strive to look out for each other, to be nice to each other and please each other, but when threatened both can also become selfishly calculating. In this they can understand one another's view point, decisions, and support one another. The miscommunication comes from ISFJ having dominant introverted sensory function and INFJ having dominant intuitive function. When I try to talk to my ISFJ mother about something a bit more abstract for example I just don't find understanding in her. Occasionally she can kind of relate and add a bit, but conversation of this type with her just does not flow. However when I talk about concrete down to earth things then she can very easily relate, but I just feel bored and shallow talking about these subjects. Over time though I have grown a bit fascinated with how she sees the world, as I have always rejected seeing it this way, but practical reality cannot be ignored. Another point of contention is that I like and welcome change, while she seems to want get firmly rooted where she is and not change anything. Both of us can also be quite stubborn. However we also complement each other is some ways - I can provide like a strategy, a long-term plan of action that she would listen to, and she is very good at noticing details and also taking care of practical things that I'd be too lazy/bored/inattentive to take care of. She is also a much better homemaker than I will ever be.


You also might want to visit this forum: Infjs Forums
I was browsing threads there and remember one INFJ guy posting that he is married to an ISFJ and he sounded content with the relationship.
Thank you very much Miss Vel. We do have a lot in common and you are right about miscommunication, at times. She and I sometimes bump heads and we mean well, but for some reason, we interpret misunderstandings of our intentions. Truly amazing. I am awed by all this. Miss Vel, thank you for your selfless help for another human being. I wish to thank all of you and I hope that I can do the same from my own personal experiences in a game called life.
Sincerely,
Johnny
 
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