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Hi! I am an ENFP female. I am best friends with an INFP male and have known him for more than 2 years now. Both of us are very compatible and do not have any secrets from one another. I recently realised that I am in love with him. After a few months of trying to suppress it, I ended up telling him about it. After I told him completely how I felt, he said that he had not thought about me that way, eventhough he thinks I'm a great person, mainly because of his previous relationship (which has left him a little afraid to trust again). He said he needs time to think about it, and I said I understood. It has been 10 days since I confessed to him, and he still hasn't given me an answer. I made sure that every time we met, there was no awkwardness between us. But I have been the one initiating the meet ups. He does text me more often now and initiates conversations via text a little bit more than before. But other than that, I do not see any differences in our friendship. I want to give him space to decide on his feelings. But I'm finding it increasingly difficult to be patient. Should I just ask him where he thinks our relationship is heading or should I stick it out and wait for him to come to me? Please give me some insight into what he is thinking.
 

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I, too, think you should wait.
Not to put a date on it (but to put a date on it anyway): if it reaches the 1 month mark and he still hasn't said anything, then I would bring it up again without any shame. At that point, it would kind of be absurd on his end to have not responded. That's 730 hours to think about it. But honestly, maybe setting a time (after x amount of days, if no response) might make you feel better, rather than wondering whether you should or shouldn't
 

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Don't scare off your INFP. You have the benefit of INFP's holding up cherished ones on a pedestal, but don't want to get overbearing. I would probably ask in another week.
 

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sunflower97 said:
he said that he had not thought about me that way
Translation: No!

even though he thinks I'm a great person
Translation: Balm 1

mainly because of his previous relationship (which has left him a little afraid to trust again)
Translation: Balm 2

He said he needs time to think about it
Translation: Balm 3

and I said I understood
Really?

It has been 10 days since I confessed to him, and he still hasn't given me an answer
Sadly you don’t understand his face-saving art of diplomacy.
 

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Don't wait too long though. Give it 2 weeks. After that if he is still skittish about it, it's time to forget about it..
 

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It has been 10 days since I confessed to him, and he still hasn't given me an answer.
Ok sweetie pie first remember you are from the looks and sounds of it an Extrovert and him an introvert. Don't push him or force him to talk, they are most likely deep in thought about the whole thing, step in their shoes ! it is probably a big thing to take in ! let them take the time they need to digest and come to their own thoughts, you have been thinking about it longer and harder than they have. Until they are ready to tell you how they feel just go back to how things were :heart: no need to ruin a good friendship with pressure on one person about wanting them to return feelings.

All the best !!:heart:
 

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Translation: No!



Translation: Balm 1



Translation: Balm 2



Translation: Balm 3



Really?



Sadly you don’t understand his face-saving art of diplomacy.
I hate to have to break it out to you, Original Poster, but it is exactly as Ermenegildo has said, going into some detail.

Usually, Fi-judging people would be the most sincere in telling you the what and the why, even in candid terms.
This is something that would be appreciated by nearly only other Fi (and maybe Ti) judging people, however.

The real reason why people's proposals are turned down in every possible manner except plainly a sincere outspoken one is because the rejected regularly prefer hypocrisy.
The priority is their ego's pride, not truth.

Wish you good luck in unchaining your mind from this affection — his "no" is as clear as they come.
 
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