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Hi! I’m an ENFJ female who is interested in an INFP male. He recently confessed his feelings for me but because we live far away from one another and has a 3 hour time difference he said he thinks we shouldn’t get too close because we’d both end up hurting. He said: “I really like you and you being so far made me scared that we could never be together” However he said he wants to be friends.

Due to my past relationships I’m a little self conscious when it comes to what guys say and what they actually mean. I can’t tell if he is friend zoning me or if he genuinely likes me. I truly want to believe in his words but I’ve met a lot of jerks.

He doesn’t use social media and so the only form of contact I have is his phone number. He doesn’t text often either but would sometimes initiate texts. I really just want him to text me first to tell me what he’s thinking. I hate leaving things unresolved.

After our short discussion on this where I told him that if he thinks we are going too fast we can slow down and that he is thinking far too ahead I just want him to be present with me, he said he doesn’t know... and hasn’t texted me since. I don’t know if the “if a guy likes you, he will reach out to you” applies here but I’ve never had such strong connection with someone in such a short time. I know he needs space to think about things so I don’t want to rush it. I am afraid I’ll push him away even more if I initiate. I don’t want to do anything impulsive! It’s only been a couple days since we last talked. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think the no contact rule applies here because we weren’t dating... help :( I just want to get to know him more. I don’t know why he is afraid but I honestly imagined meeting up with him in a couple years but maybe he doesn’t want LDR... please help. I just want to make him feel loved and not afraid.

Any input would help!!!
 

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Hi! I’m an ENFJ female who is interested in an INFP male. He recently confessed his feelings for me but because we live far away from one another and has a 3 hour time difference he said he thinks we shouldn’t get too close because we’d both end up hurting. He said: “I really like you and you being so far made me scared that we could never be together” However he said he wants to be friends.

Due to my past relationships I’m a little self conscious when it comes to what guys say and what they actually mean. I can’t tell if he is friend zoning me or if he genuinely likes me. I truly want to believe in his words but I’ve met a lot of jerks.

He doesn’t use social media and so the only form of contact I have is his phone number. He doesn’t text often either but would sometimes initiate texts. I really just want him to text me first to tell me what he’s thinking. I hate leaving things unresolved.

After our short discussion on this where I told him that if he thinks we are going too fast we can slow down and that he is thinking far too ahead I just want him to be present with me, he said he doesn’t know... and hasn’t texted me since. I don’t know if the “if a guy likes you, he will reach out to you” applies here but I’ve never had such strong connection with someone in such a short time. I know he needs space to think about things so I don’t want to rush it. I am afraid I’ll push him away even more if I initiate. I don’t want to do anything impulsive! It’s only been a couple days since we last talked. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think the no contact rule applies here because we weren’t dating... help :( I just want to get to know him more. I don’t know why he is afraid but I honestly imagined meeting up with him in a couple years but maybe he doesn’t want LDR... please help. I just want to make him feel loved and not afraid.

Any input would help!!!
Take the hint and cut the strings. Also, Avoid projects.
 

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All I have to say is that LDRs are usually like paper. They are thin and burn quickly. You are going to have to put some effort into keeping it strong, and without a physical presence it will just blow away.

With that said, all (not some, ALL) of the INFPs I know are really bad about texting and such. So you would probably need to make more frequent trips than most.

Honestly though, if we are talking LDR he isn’t game I don’t think it would be wise to go for it. That’s just a way to put yourself through emotional hell.
 

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I used to date an INFP who ended up breaking off our relationship when he had to move across the coast for a job. We had been dating for about 4 months and I wanted to at least try the long distance relationship because I had fallen for him. Even though he said he had fallen for me too, he was unwilling to try and this devastated me. From my understanding, INFP's are very idealists and desire perfect relationships. Unfortunately, long distance relationships are not ideal. INFPs also put A LOT of consideration into relationships before jumping in, considering all future possible outcomes (both good and bad). They are sensitive and feel a lot of pain so they are very cautious in attempt to not get hurt.
 
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