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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I was in a relationship with the sexiest man I've ever met a few years ago. He's funnier than any comedian, smarter than anyone I've had a conversation with, and better at communicating thoughts than I could ever imagine being. I can't predict his responses like I can with other boys. It makes him very mysterious to me.

We were ridiculously excited about each other in the beginning. Our conversations lasted for hours and we always walked away with a new perspective to consider. We were so physically attracted to each other that we could barely make it through the night without waking up halfway through to satisfy one another. When we were together in a group of people, everyone seemed less vibrant because my attention was all on him. Basically, I was in love out of my mind.

Unfortunately, I didn't know he was an entp at the time and couldn't handle his seemingly random spouts of detachment. I was so confused. I just couldn't understand it from my perspective. We started fighting. Constantly. I acknowledge that it was my fault, but in my defense, I just didn't know that was part of his personality. I broke it off and moved away. I have tried dating other boys and have come to the conclusion that it's not possible for me to love anyone else after him. Trust me, it has been years.

I just started reading about the infj + entp dynamic. It seems that infj's are drawn to this type to an almost irrational degree. From what I have read it seems that the reverse is either not the case or entp's just don't talk about it nearly as much. If I am wrong here, please tell me.

He has contacted me three or four times since we broke up to rekindle something. As soon as I jump on board and express that I'm 100% all for it, he almost immediately disappears again. I think that he feels that he's won.

I am going out for drinks with my entp ex next week. It seems that entp's like the game and the chase when it comes to girls. My natural inclination is to pounce on him and tell him that I'm all his. Despite this, I am ready to play if that means I get him in the long run and in the process. He's not likely to be completely into the idea of something with me because of how I ended things with him in the past.

I don't think I will have a problem getting him interested in me. The issue is keeping his interest. I want your advice on how to handle this situation. What would you want from a girl in a chase? How long should a girl wait before they let you "catch" her? Should I ever let him "win" the chase or just keep it going indefinitely?

Do entp's have long term relationships or should I just try to be satisfied with the times that he chooses to pop back into my life?
 

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i don't know about others ENTP, but in my family, we are 3 ENTPs, and when a relationship is over; it's over to the end. We never come back. It is not so difficult for us to change. In fact we like changes, so when it's over we never look back.
I look for the futur only.

Said that, it's not impossible to be in a relationship with your ENTP one more time, but it will be probably very difficult.
perhaps, if you make him think he didn't knew everything about you... something strange, something amazing (i don't know).
or simply if your not the same woman, he could be iterrested an other time.
 

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I don't think it's enticing that you are really asking about. Seems as though you have that down to a science. The question to ask yourself is whether you can ever be satisfied with the dynamic that exists in the event it does't change. You might just prefer someone who is actually interested in you. There is a repeated theme in threads about unequal investment in relationships, no matter what the cause it appears that people aren't satisfied. I'd suggest taking it to a friendship and fulfilling your relationship needs with a different person, maybe even a different ENTP. Not all ENTP's are into that game. Best to you, though, these things end up working themselves out by default. If he isn't there you will go elsewhere to have your needs met, and eventually develop the level of intimacy you need with someone else.
 
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Let him win only enough times to keep him coming back for more, never satiated. As you guys get more into each other, play hot/cold with him to keep him excited.

Of course, the logical solution to your sorry situation is simple: PM me some sexy photos and I'll give you all the ENTP lovin' your heart will ever desire.
 

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I can only speak for myself on this one, but oddly enough the other replies have me thinking I might not be alone.

I've never looked back at a relationship in hopes of rekindling them

All 3 of my former wives have tried to get back together with me, and I've said no every time.

I actually don't even speak to any of my ex-girlfriends with the exception of 1 of them (and the 2 ex-wives that I have a kid each with ... but we have kids we have to talk about)

At most all I ever think about it is "hmmmm ... well that was another notch in the belt of life." as things end. And looking back at things the only two possible thoughts are "well that was fun" and/or "well at least I learned something new."

On that note I have loads of ex-friends-with-benifits that I'm still regular friends with. We talk, hang out, y'know whatever.


I hope that whatever is supposed to happen for you two happens. I even hope things work out the way you want them to. As far as I go personally though the invitation to my inner circle is something that once accepted can never be broken .... or if it is, a second invitation isn't even entertained.
 
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My close friend is an ENTP and she's quite similar. When something is over it's over, she pretty much decides on someone and then stops thinking about it. She'll keep them as friends afterwords, and a lot of them are led on after the fact. I'd say that any chance you have for your guy to come back, you just have to be yourself. Whatever games you play will only last as long as you can keep up the act, and if you think he won't pick up on it after a while then he's not as intelligent as you say. Entpideas is on the right track with you moving on. So just enjoy the time you spend with him but don't push or pull so hard to try and get him back with you. If he wants to be with you again, shine your beautiful light and he will follow it. Otherwise don't waste your time with him. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
My close friend is an ENTP and she's quite similar. When something is over it's over, she pretty much decides on someone and then stops thinking about it. She'll keep them as friends afterwords, and a lot of them are led on after the fact. I'd say that any chance you have for your guy to come back, you just have to be yourself. Whatever games you play will only last as long as you can keep up the act, and if you think he won't pick up on it after a while then he's not as intelligent as you say. Entpideas is on the right track with you moving on. So just enjoy the time you spend with him but don't push or pull so hard to try and get him back with you. If he wants to be with you again, shine your beautiful light and he will follow it. Otherwise don't waste your time with him. :)
Wow. Amazing advice. You are right. I will just have to be myself otherwise I'm setting myself up for eventual failure. I will hope for the best while still guarding my heart.
 

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Even if you get back together, he will dump you later. That's how rekindled relationships go. Sometimes people want back in just so they can finish their unfinished business.

Definitely stay guarded. You have regrets about ending this, but at the time you weren't happy.
 
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