Personality Cafe banner
1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Hi, I have been studying the types of the MBTI (and the Enneagram) for a long time and I've always had a hard time determining if I'm INFJ or INFP. I've literally been vacillating between the two for years. I'm definitely and INF_ just can never fully agree on J or P.

I would also love some insight into what people see as my Enneagram type (I'm certain of a type and a wing but not 100% sure which of the two is my main type and which is the wing), tri-fix or anything else based on my answers on the questionnaire. Thanks a lot in advance to anyone who participates.

Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I'm driven by the quest for knowledge, I have an insatiable need to learn and understand, especially other people. I'm driven by the desire to "see all there is to see" and go where the road takes me because there is always something new to discover. I love new things and places. I look for and am drawn to anything that will bring out my emotions and make me feel something deeply.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
I would like to have a satisfying career where I can help people, especially children, that need someone to care and listen. I want people to say that I was a person that always stuck true to her principles and herself no matter how hard. I want to be in a long term relationship with someone where we bring out the best in each other. I want deeply to make the world better for people in any way I am able to.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I hope to avoid being a "sell out" and ever being fake and 'playing the game' to get ahead in work, life or anything else. I want to always be true to myself. It's hard to stand alone to do what you think is right but I value such things above most else. I never want to lose my compassion and 'grow hard'. I don't want a wasted life of inaction.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
My biggest fear is losing the part of myself that always 'knows' that anything is possible, the part of me that is so unabashedly optimistic and idealistic, the part of me that loves everyone and everything and just wants everyone to be happy, the part that feels like everything can change for the better, at any second - it's what keeps me going in life. I fear that my nihilistic side could take over and I'll go through life feeling like it is futile and pointless. I never want to lose my remaining, possibly child-like, quality of hope.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I want others to see me as someone who is always herself, no matter what. And as someone who always tries to have everyone's best interest at heart and as someone who means well. I see myself as having not lived up to my potential, I have a long way to go, but... I want to be on that journey...so it's good.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
I feel my best when I'm with people who understand me and a deep connection exists between us, where we don't have to waste time with superficialities. I feel best in the midst of a meaningful conversation with someone special to me.
I feel my worst when I feel "forced" into doing something that I don't want to do, to be a phony, especially for the sake of "tradition" or to appease people I don't care about appeasing. I feel my worst when I am not understood or when my intentions were not understood.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
a) anger - I'm not all that angry in general but when I do get angry it tends to be an explosion and I generally cry. It's generally hard for me to express anger to people and my anger usually dissipates rather quickly. If I did some type of overreaction on someone I feel shame and embarrassment FOREVER afterwards.
b) shame - I try to hide my shame because I find it shameful to have shame...yeah. I will ruminate over one minor mistake I made, especially in a social situation, for literally decades. I can still feel shame over some stupid faux pas I made when I was a teen and I still think about them sometimes even though they were long ago and not a big deal in the end at all.
c) anxiety - I have a lot of social anxiety, I usually don't like big crowds and large groups of people make me anxious. I have to remove myself from everyone and be alone to calm my anxiety. The more anxiety I feel the more likely I would be to avoid whatever is bringing on the anxiety. I tend to withdraw from people/life.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a) stress- I put off/ignore what it is that is stressing me, if I can, and then deal with the fallout from not taking care of whatever the stressor was earlier... This sometimes leads to more stress. When I'm really stressed and have to take action I usually can get it together and fix the issue, etc. and move on.
b) unexpected change - it depends on if it's a good change or not but I generally deal with change fairly well. I want new experiences and change could be a catalyst for that.
c) conflict - I used to avoid it for the most part but as I've gotten older I have become more 'confrontational' because if there is a clear conflict now I address it even though I hate doing it. I always want to find the middle ground and a way for both sides to be happy. It really kind of depends on the type of conflict and who is involved but my response would generally be to talk out the conflict and move on when everyone feels it's been resolved. If it becomes too much and we're clearly getting nowhere I will remove myself from the area. I would never just say I agreed with someone I didn't actually agree with to end a conflict but I won't argue over and over and over either, I just say I'm done and leave.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
a) authority - I am respectful of authorities that I respect and respect me but if an authority has proven they don't deserve respect I don't care that they are an authority. I won't outright defy them but I'll do what I think is right when they're not around. Haven't spent much time thinking about my response to authority before, I tend more towards following my own head/heart than looking to others.
b) power - It scares me that so few people have so much of it. In a sense I am drawn to power/powerful people, that can get things done.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
People should be more open-minded and think about other people when they make choices. Sometimes I feel like the world is overflowing with beauty and other times I think everything is far too screwed up and we will never change things. But I still want to.

Optional Questions

11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
A sudden death in my family rocked me to the core and sent me in to the biggest depression I have ever experienced. I am still dealing with all the aftermath - my whole life was disrupted due to my depression. I have developed anxiety and stomach issues as a result. I eventually forced myself to seek help and things are improving now.

12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
There are only a few people I trust completely now. In the past I put way too much trust in some people and got let down, now I am more careful with who I trust.

13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.
a)like: I'm very empathetic and sensitive. I'm smart and have educated myself on a broad range of topics. I'm interesting and rarely boring or bored. I like that I'm not afraid to leave my comfort zone. I have talents and abilities that I am proud of. I love that I'm willing to try new things/am open minded. When I want to know something I don't give up until I have the answer.
b)dislike: I can be somewhat snobby and judgmental. I'm kind of a "know it all" with certain subjects, especially. I'm not outgoing and I don't put myself out there very often. I have a very definite Nihilistic and pessimistic side. I can be really obsessive and have a hard time letting certain things go. I can be self-absorbed. Sometimes moody for no real reason.

14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
I tend to be able to pick up on people's moods really well, even strangers in a store.

15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
Depends on the insult but I wouldn't respond most likely and I'd feel bad/upset for a bit and then get over it, they don't know me anyway. Compliments make me feel awkward but I would say thanks.

16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?
a) I'm thankful for everything I have, especially my friends.
b) Unlimited money so I could travel more and see more of the world while giving money to people who need it.

EDIT: I see there is another questionnaire and some of the Qs are different so I'm adding the different Qs from that below here:

1. What were you like as a kid?
I always thought up my own original games to play with my friends, most of them were make-believe type stuff and everyone loved them. I was always myself with my heart on my sleeve and it was a real blow to realize that some people thought I was weird and/or used that fact to their advantage. I was so open and naive and thought that everyone should just be nice and love everyone.

2. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted?
They're both very, very, very different than me. They're much more the 'traditional' type people, who do what they do because "that's what you do", if that makes sense. Whereas my head has always been in the clouds and I've always had outlandish ideas and beliefs. My approach to life and things is completely opposite to theirs. They are open minded though and never tried to change me or anything. I am an only child.

3.
c.) What do you dislike the most in other people?
Phoniness. If you don't like me, my shirt, my food, whatever, just say so or at least don't pretend to love it! I can't stand people who lie to be polite to someone's face and then they let their true feelings out behind their back to others. Everyone should just be real with everyone else. I think the world would be a better place if people cut the BS out.

4. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
3a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others.
1 b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you
2c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else.

5. Where does the wandering mind take you? What provokes this?
All over the place, it's my favorite activity. I constantly think about humanity, my place in it and what can be done to improve it, religion, war, etc. Any second of spare time provokes thoughts.

6. a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why?
Counselor, I've always just assumed/been given that role since childhood.
b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why? Very cautiously, I don't like being in charge.
c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why? Not unless I didn't agree with them or thought they were abusing that power. I just do my own thing as much as I can while being a team player. I don't like to be a follower but I also don't like being a leader.

7. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire?
Super liberal, atheist. Not much.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
51 Posts
There's a lot more to the INFJ/INFP divide than undecided J/P. The cognitive functions operate differently as well.

INFJ: Ni Fe Ti Se

INFP: Fi Ne Si Te

You're an enneagram 4w5. That's clear through the answers you've given. I'm leaning more towards INFP due to your responses speaking of tranquility and inner peace. Very Fi-Ne.
 

·
Registered
ILI
Joined
·
5,652 Posts
You are so incredibly Fi. You actually quite hate Fe.

I would say INFP.
 
  • Like
Reactions: tryingto and Judas

·
Registered
INFP
Joined
·
1,191 Posts
Yep, you definitely lead with Fi and Ne, but I don't think ENFP is entirely out of the question. For sure xNFP, though.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
951 Posts
Sounds very INFP to me, especially your desire to be true to your principles. Let us know if you still have any questions/doubts. A lot of it resonates with me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,350 Posts
I'd say INFP 4w5.
 
  • Like
Reactions: tryingto

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
There's a lot more to the INFJ/INFP divide than undecided J/P. The cognitive functions operate differently as well.

INFJ: Ni Fe Ti Se

INFP: Fi Ne Si Te

You're an enneagram 4w5. That's clear through the answers you've given. I'm leaning more towards INFP due to your responses speaking of tranquility and inner peace. Very Fi-Ne.
Oh, I know there's more to it, I'm just horribly uneducated when it comes to the functions, I'm trying to understand them better. I have always identified as E 4w5 but my 5 wing is really strong so I've pondered if I could be 5w4. I have the ability to completely shut off my emotions at times. Thanks so much, I'm off to learn about Fi-Ne to start off.

You are so incredibly Fi. You actually quite hate Fe.

I would say INFP.
Thanks, I'll have to do more research to understand the difference.

Yep, you definitely lead with Fi and Ne, but I don't think ENFP is entirely out of the question. For sure xNFP, though.
Thanks! I am definitely an introvert though. Most of my friends are ENFPs, however.

Sounds very INFP to me, especially your desire to be true to your principles. Let us know if you still have any questions/doubts. A lot of it resonates with me.
Thank you so much for the input and offer of more assistance..I really need to understand the cognitive functions better, can you suggest the best places to start?

I'd say INFP 4w5.
Thanks, that seems to be the consensus and that's what I thought as well. It's nice to have confirmation through people who know more than I do, especially with the MBTI types, as I know more about the Enneagram.

Thank you! I really appreciate this everyone! Off to do research on the functions, please suggest the most reliable places to read up on them if you could!
 

·
Registered
ILI
Joined
·
5,652 Posts
  • Like
Reactions: tryingto

·
Registered
ILI
Joined
·
5,652 Posts
I shall, thank you! And you were right - I do appear to hate Fe based on what I've read so far.. You're awesome at this.
I'm actually wrong like all the time :laughing: questionnaires are hard to type people with.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
951 Posts
Thank you so much for the input and offer of more assistance..I really need to understand the cognitive functions better, can you suggest the best places to start?
Well the place where I first read about functions was Understanding the 8 Jungian Cognitive Processes (8 Functions) - but I can't say whether that's a particularly good site or not because my understanding developed over time through reading lots of different sources/opinions, discussing it here, etc. but that was my starting point anyway, it gives one view of the functions. I guess there are no definitive definitions.

You could say Fi is 'doing what you believe is right' as opposed to doing what's socially expected of you and fitting in. Fe is a lot more expressive, and there's a tendency for Fi users to perceive Fe as fake (I've also seen a bit of a tendency for Fe users to perceive Fi as self-centred, so it works both ways). But that's just one way of looking at it, there really are a lot of ways of explaining/defining these functions. Second function Ne would account for your curiosity and wanting to learn about the world.

You also want to decide whether you go down the MBTI-route where it's generally seen that functions are cognitive processes in different stages of development, or the socionics route, which calls these information elements, where different types of information have a different function in your psyche (and they're defined a bit differently as well). See Wikisocion - Socionics Wiki - ????????? ???? - but socionics is a much larger subject but with a lot less written about it so more difficult to study (though very interesting). Or Keirsey which doesn't use functions at all (the book Please Understand Me II by Keirsey is very good).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Well the place where I first read about functions was Understanding the 8 Jungian Cognitive Processes (8 Functions) - but I can't say whether that's a particularly good site or not because my understanding developed over time through reading lots of different sources/opinions, discussing it here, etc. but that was my starting point anyway, it gives one view of the functions. I guess there are no definitive definitions.

You could say Fi is 'doing what you believe is right' as opposed to doing what's socially expected of you and fitting in. Fe is a lot more expressive, and there's a tendency for Fi users to perceive Fe as fake (I've also seen a bit of a tendency for Fe users to perceive Fi as self-centred, so it works both ways). But that's just one way of looking at it, there really are a lot of ways of explaining/defining these functions. Second function Ne would account for your curiosity and wanting to learn about the world.

You also want to decide whether you go down the MBTI-route where it's generally seen that functions are cognitive processes in different stages of development, or the socionics route, which calls these information elements, where different types of information have a different function in your psyche (and they're defined a bit differently as well). See - but socionics is a much larger subject but with a lot less written about it so more difficult to study (though very interesting). Or Keirsey which doesn't use functions at all (the book Please Understand Me II by Keirsey is very good).
Thank you for all the suggestions! I'm definitely INFP.
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Top