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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
So, I'm interested in the MBTI type of a girl I know. I'm almost sure she's introverted and judging but otherwise I have no idea.
I sent her a personality test but she didn't answer. That's one thing she never does - to answer messages. I know it's not against me, as many people complain about it. We write a project, I send a message asking about whether she could send me her part, as the deadline is on the upcoming day, she doesn't. The next day, the whole team is anxious about it because I'm the person who should've put the pieces together, one part is missing and they think we're going to get a bad grade but this girl comes and what didn't happen - she made a complete project and sent it to the teacher. She doesn't say she considers our work inferior - but she does it and we know.
Other thing about school - I'm the type of student who doesn't learn (at all) and gets straight As. She learns terribly much (almost doesn't do anything else) and sometimes still doesn't know the answers. And she doesn't like me for it.
You could probably already tell she's not my favorite person in the world but these aren't the reasons for it. It's her opinions. She thinks smoking is morally wrong. Now, I don't even do it myself, but once she wanted to convince our teacher to quit. She was sixteen, he was forty-nine and she didn't know anything about him. I don't know whether it was because she wants to be the saviour of everyone or because she wants everyone to think like her - you don't, she doesn't like you. Sometimes she doesn't tell you her opinion but when you say something she doesn't like, she is obviously judging you for the rest of the day. But express her own stand? Nah. She follows authority on every occasion. When she has to write a commentary, she writes one that expresses the opinion of the teacher and writes is in the kind of handwriting she learned in the first grade.
She wants to live in a world without electronics and internet, best place would be medieval. She doesn't say anything about plague. I constantly get the impression of a young lady from the last century. She constantly says our school should be harder, to the point where there would be so much to learn it would steal everyone all free time. She is the person who reads the compulsive literature but doesn't help you even when it's the day of the test, saying she wants the best for you, as if reading Hugo would better the world of everyone. And when I, the second person who actually read it, explain it, what does she do? Judge me. Does she ever question the things the author stated? No, she accepts them, until she gets new ones.
We once had a writing project together. Now, I know I'm a good writer. My English is terrible but definitely not my German, I've already got a published novel. Yet she wanted to write everything herself. She has a great writing style, yes and big vocabulary. But she writes a lot of empty phrases, just because they sound nice, they don't really tell you anything. Perfect for poetry, not so for prosaic things. I thought, yes, I'm going to ask her about everything, we are going to get some character sheet so she likes it. She never answered my emails and when I wrote the thing, as she went on holiday without saying, she was angry with me, because the character was supposed to be depressed and OMG, he talked to other people. When you talk to other people, you aren't really depressed, right? Well, you are. I've got depressions. I know. The whole thing was "constructed". Now, this is of course an opinion and I would change the thing she didn't like but the problem is, she never answered my messages! How the hell am I supposed to do this?
Ok, now you're interested in why am I writing all this stuff. We're going to study abroad next year. We'll need to do a lot of stuff together, write a lot of stuff together, just spend a lot of time together. I'd like to survive it without killing her. Knowing what to expect and how to solve situations would be greatly appreciated. My plan of attack on to figure out her MBTI and then ask other people of the same type to help me solve the problem as they should understand.
 

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Okay, I read thoroughly but skimmed the last part.

Your situation sounds eerily similar to that of my ENTP friend and ISTJ acquaintance. It's important to know that the ISTJ in the relationship here is quite unhealthy. Good student, silent about her negative opinions and judgements, and very passive aggressive. They're in the school newspaper together and they are part of the collaboration team that competes nation-wide. In other words, they're very much stuck together as well.

Sometimes she doesn't tell you her opinion but when you say something she doesn't like, she is obviously judging you for the rest of the day. But express her own stand? Nah. She follows authority on every occasion.
That is exactly like the ISTJ I know. She hides a lot of her opinions and hatred inside and would rather play this bitter passive aggressive game. She also likes to do every project herself because she doesn't trust other people to do it her way. Unless of course, she knows you're better at a certain thing and uses you to her advantage. i.e. Me in everything music or photo & video editing related. This I didn't notice until my ENTP friend pointed it out.

She thinks smoking is morally wrong. Now, I don't even do it myself, but once she wanted to convince our teacher to quit.
I'm not exactly sure of your acquaintance's type, but that strongly suggests Fi. If you're sure about the Introversion and that she's a J, I'm thinking IxTJ.

Your situation sounds tough. Is there any chance for you to switch partners? I think you should talk to her seriously and explain the lack of teamwork involved and that if she wanted to do it her way, she should inform you of her already made plans apparently.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks for the input. I really appreciate it, I'm at the end of my wits. I'm sure she is a J, she plans everything and keeps everything around her very tidy. The fact that she can schedule everything and not feel completely constricted is probably the only thing I am amazed of when it comes to her. Now, she could be a repressed extrovert and seem shy because she wants to please (I was thinking ENTJ) but I guess then she would at least have some drive to discuss with me, especially if she were an analytic type. Then she could maybe also see that some of her stances don't make any sense (I have the "It makes no sense" moments at least three times per conversation).
The situation starts to be very problematic for me. I have no option to switch, we are the only two people in the program but sometimes I just want to strangle her. I believe me and your friend share similar feelings. I don't think she is a bad person per se but she's definitely not compatible with someone like me. I have a very creative mind (surprisingly for an ENTP...) and her constant trying to ruin everything I start in some passive aggressive way, making it her way as you already mentioned and her constant trying to convince that what I do is inferior is just... energy draining.
Now I tried to talk to her several times, this is going on for months already. She just sits there, doing some algebra and DOESN'T ANSWER even when I talk directly to her! I feel completely hopeless, since I always solve situations like this with just leaving these people alone - why push something when I can talk to someone else but now I can't.
 

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yeah, i agree with mrhcmll, i got the ISTJ vibe too and the Fi as well. She's more traditional and that fits ISTJ as well. ISTJ's are superior organizers. They are very focused, organized, and timely/scheduled. They can get irritated with xxxP types for the untimeliness, spontaneity, etc. They are T's, so of course they are not focusing on emotions, they are more practical/logical. And they are S's, so they are not into abstract/theories so much. And they are strong Si users so that's one of the things that make them real traditional and loyal to whatever traditions of old that they believe in. "If it worked in the past, then why change it?" Kinda thing.

Go on the ISTJ forum and ask the their opinion, see what they say?

Remember also you are inferior Si, and ISTJ's are dom Si, so that would be a clash. Also, You are an N abstract/theoretical, they are S. And you use Ti they use Te, huge thought processing difference. And you use Fe, they use Fi, so you can see the functions are so different, and they are inferior Ne and you are strong Ne.

It could help also to read the inferior function eruptions of ISTJ and ISFJ (as they share the same both dom Si and inferior Ne) and that could shed some light also:

http://personalitycafe.com/istj-articles/78130-recognizing-inferior-function-istj.html
 
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*sought my ENTP friend's advice and she agreed, strangle her. kidding.

I think you should seek help from the ISTJ or advice forum. Good luck. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank you so much for help. I'm going to consult this with local ISTJs and hopefully, we'll both survive the year without unnecessary deaths.
 
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