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Hi. New here, and with a question I think INFJs can help me answer.

I’m an INTJ, and I’m about as certain as I can be about this. I’ve taken the tests, I’ve read the descriptions, and I get picked out by other INTJs as being one. I come across as cool and competent, am fairly energetic and intense, etc etc.

The person I work most closely with is astonishingly like me. I’ve never met anyone quite as similar in many ways, and we work fantastically well together.

He thinks he’s an INFJ. He cares deeply about people and their feelings, and he is often described as warm. He thinks of himself as being good with people and sometimes worries that he has got where he is in life because people like him, rather than any real skill.

I had an important conversation with another member of our work team today. This person reports to me and to my INFJ colleague. This person is a very different personality type and they present strongly as a feeling type, in a way that I and my colleague do not. They are genuinely warm, not nearly as linear, and a bit (ok, a lot) more laid back. They also identify as INFJ (though they admit they are very close on J/P and may in fact be INFP)

My colleague is much more like me than them. So much so that it’s challenging for the feeling types on our team. My colleague was described today by our team member as being astonishingly similar to me, but perhaps slightly less direct. When I mentioned the interest in/focus on others, our team member responded that he (colleague) has occasional periods of being highly focused on the needs and feelings of other people, but puts them aside once he perceives that the situation has been resolved, and that for the most part, he is relatively oblivious to these needs. As an INTJ, I have a good ability to hone in to obstacles and things that diminish the efficiency of the system, and I can work with people to resolve them. I see my colleague taking a proactive approach to caring for team members, and I have ascribed this to Fe. This has allowed me to leave those dynamics aside, trusting that my partner has them covered. Now I’m wondering if this indeed is the case.

Is it possible for an INTJ to mistype as an INFJ if they 1) strongly value people and prioritize the needs and concerns of others and 2) have reasons why they aren’t comfortable with anger and don’t really show it or acknowledge it within themselves? (I’m not sure why this would affect Fe/Te but I do know it is true about this person)

I’m curious because today’s conversation helped me to see what strong Fe looks like in practice and I don’t see that with my coworker. It matters because I think it has a negative impact on team dynamics. If he’s really NT and not NF as I thought, then it explains why some of the dynamics are off and it gives me some ways forward that will improve the system for everyone (sorry, I know that’s very INTJ of me..)

As INFJs, what are your thoughts in response to what I’ve posted?
 

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So we're not sure if the one colleague is an INFJ or INFP. It matters because as you probably already know, these types have a preferences for different functions. Also, INFP's lead with a feeling function and INFJ's lead with their intuition so they're going to look different even though INFJ's auxiliary function is Fe.

When I mentioned the interest in/focus on others, our team member responded that he (colleague) has occasional periods of being highly focused on the needs and feelings of other people, but puts them aside once he perceives that the situation has been resolved, and that for the most part, he is relatively oblivious to these needs.
Have you talked directly with your INxJ colleague about this? Does he feel this is true? What's his side of the story?

Is it possible for an INTJ to mistype as an INFJ
Yes, it's possible to mistype as anything really but it's not uncommon for INFJ's to mistype as INTJ's and INTJ's to mistype as INFJ's. They have a lot in common as they both lead with Ni.

2) have reasons why they aren’t comfortable with anger and don’t really show it or acknowledge it within themselves? (I’m not sure why this would affect Fe/Te but I do know it is true about this person)
I'd say this has more to do with enneagram. He could be a type 9 or a type 1 (or have this in his tri-type). I don't know how much you know about enneagram though (if at all). If not, I recommend reading up on it because it's another useful tool. I could see a type 9 INTJ looking like an INFJ or Fe user though.

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Have you asked the INTJ's what their thoughts were?

Also, I find this helpful because it hilights the differences between INFJ's and INTJ's:
http://www.infj.com/INFJorINTJ.htm
 
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Discussion Starter #3
So we're not sure if the one colleague is an INFJ or INFP. It matters because as you probably already know, these types have a preferences for different functions. Also, INFP's lead with a feeling function and INFJ's lead with their intuition so they're going to look different even though INFJ's auxiliary function is Fe.


Thanks. Yes, I’d like to take my team members self-identification at face value, but it makes sense that they are P. They do not present Ni, and I’m pretty sure it’s Fe that I pick up on from them.



Have you talked directly with your INxJ colleague about this? Does he feel this is true? What's his side of the story?
I haven’t asked him, mostly because these questions are coming up as a result of some challenging team dynamics and I’d like to be clear on what I’m perceiving before having a conversation he may experience as challenging. What was said about occasional intense focus seems true, but that could be Ni rather than a failure of Fe


Yes, it's possible to mistype as anything really but it's not uncommon for INFJ's to mistype as INTJ's and INTJ's to mistype as INFJ's. They have a lot in common as they both lead with Ni.



I'd say this has more to do with enneagram. He could be a type 9 or a type 1 (or have this in his tri-type). I don't know how much you know about enneagram though (if at all). If not, I recommend reading up on it because it's another useful tool. I could see a type 9 INTJ looking like an INFJ or Fe user though.

Thanks. I know a bit about the enneagram, but I’ve never tried to type my colleague. This would make sense.
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Have you asked the INTJ's what their thoughts were?
Not yet, but I will. I’m an INTJ and I know how I think, so it didn’t seem like as much of a priority to ask other INTJs :tongue:


Also, I find this helpful because it hilights the differences between INFJ's and INTJ's:

Excellent, thanks for the link!
 

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Depends. I'm an INFJ that sometimes tests as an INTJ when I am in a more analytical state of mind. Being in a field that requires me to use my Ti a lot has likely weakened my Fe in some ways. Fe doesn't necessarily mean we constantly care about and value the needs of others nor that we always do something about it, it just means that we pick up on it whether we actually want to or not and that we try to achieve external harmony (not always successfully). Internally (Ti), we can actually be rather cold and detached. I like what you said about INTJs can appear more feeler-like if they value social relationships strongly, as that is plausible, too. Function-wise though, I still think this person is using Fe/Ti, so I vote INFJ (with strong Ti and/or weak Fe) over INTJ.
 

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Keep in mind, too, that both Ni types are pretty uncommon and that there are can be lots of individual variability between those of the same type.
 

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Being pretty close to a T myself, I'd say the difference between an INFJ and an INTJ can be pretty slight. The feelers who are close to me think I'm a T, but I always test slightly F. You can observe a few prominent INFJs going toe to toe with INTJs in theoretical discussions over in the INTJ forum, and it is hard to tell them apart. An INFJ can be equally as logical and calculating as an INTJ, but they usually present their arguments from a humanitarian or interpersonal perspective rather than from a position of pure science. The feeler aspect of INFJs can be subtle, and we are very guarded about it. To most people, I appear cold on the surface like an INTJ. I've been accused of not being particularly warm or inviting to strangers. This is in stark contrast to the cuddly and accommodating ENFP, ISFJ and INFP types I know.
 
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