Okay, both my husband and my daughter are ISFPs. I have a high regard for y'all. But I have no idea, sometimes, how to work with my little girl.
She's in 3rd grade - sometimes she acts like a teenager (back-talking, loves fashion & music, shuts herself in her room, keeps an art journal, has already developed an interest in kissing boys, which freaks her father out, has begged without success for a cell phone, considers school important only for social opportunities) and sometimes she clearly wants to be babied and has admitted as much (wants to be held, fussed over, seems insecure, will play with toys and games that seem "young" for her). She has a lot of feelings.
I am an ENTJ. Since we are opposites, I sort of have this secret fear that our relationship will never be what she needs it to be. I grew up without my mother, so I really don't have a good role model for motherhood. I'm of the opinion that if I can genuinely help her to grow into an independent, successful person without emotionally damaging her (meaning she will want to come visit me when I am old), I will have accomplished my goal.
With my boys, the relationship is so natural. With my daughter I always feel like I am explaining too much, warning too much, directing too much...but at the same time, I don't think I am doing enough of something. I try to be available for her to talk to, but when I ask her questions she seems to feel interrogated. I especially want to be there for her as she makes friends, but I don't know what to do or say when "Ally said I couldn't come in her house because she was only allowed two friends and she chose Bailey and Angel," except to let her play the video game she requested as an alternative.
SO - Did any of you have a parent like me? Did they kill or mutilate your spirit? Where did they screw up? What sorts of things do you wish they had done for you? I ask my ISFP husband about all of this (they are two peas in a pod) but on a lot of the stuff he says that "girls are different than boys." Still, he "gets" something about her that I don't. What is it?
She's in 3rd grade - sometimes she acts like a teenager (back-talking, loves fashion & music, shuts herself in her room, keeps an art journal, has already developed an interest in kissing boys, which freaks her father out, has begged without success for a cell phone, considers school important only for social opportunities) and sometimes she clearly wants to be babied and has admitted as much (wants to be held, fussed over, seems insecure, will play with toys and games that seem "young" for her). She has a lot of feelings.
I am an ENTJ. Since we are opposites, I sort of have this secret fear that our relationship will never be what she needs it to be. I grew up without my mother, so I really don't have a good role model for motherhood. I'm of the opinion that if I can genuinely help her to grow into an independent, successful person without emotionally damaging her (meaning she will want to come visit me when I am old), I will have accomplished my goal.
With my boys, the relationship is so natural. With my daughter I always feel like I am explaining too much, warning too much, directing too much...but at the same time, I don't think I am doing enough of something. I try to be available for her to talk to, but when I ask her questions she seems to feel interrogated. I especially want to be there for her as she makes friends, but I don't know what to do or say when "Ally said I couldn't come in her house because she was only allowed two friends and she chose Bailey and Angel," except to let her play the video game she requested as an alternative.
SO - Did any of you have a parent like me? Did they kill or mutilate your spirit? Where did they screw up? What sorts of things do you wish they had done for you? I ask my ISFP husband about all of this (they are two peas in a pod) but on a lot of the stuff he says that "girls are different than boys." Still, he "gets" something about her that I don't. What is it?