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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a 5 year old child with whom I have this persistent feeling of not getting him. I thought that if I described him and if any of you would recognize similarities with yourself or your kids and their type, I would appreciate a lot.

He was very calm and content baby. Wherever he was, he was mostly happy and alert. Once when he was 4 months old, I were not able to pick him up soon enough after he started crying and it kind of got out of hand with him crying and gasping for air at the same time. It was scary, but he recovered. It didn't happen again for a long time, but has happened when he has been over three years old a few times. As a baby when he learned how to move, he practically didn't stop. Always on the move. I could never have predicted how such a calm and content baby would turn out to be so active.

When he was a toddler it was awful. He ran everywhere and did everything all the time. You could have spent hours with him just running after him and telling him no as he ran from one dangerous activity to another. At the same time this was a deeply sensitive little boy. Adapting well to different situations, only not able to stay still.

He had to sit on a high chair with seat belt for relatively late age as otherwise he would have not been able to eat as he kept turning around and upside down and falling off the chair and running away to do whatever popped op into his mind. For at least a year when he started to sit on a normal chair, we had to tell him at least once during every meal to sit as he was unable to stay put.

I were not really able to hold him on my lap for a long time as I would have ended up bruised. He moved all the time and not gently!

I were never able to tell how tired he was in the evenings. Whenever I put him to bed, I never knew if he would run 30mins or 2hours around the bed before he fell down and went to sleep within two minutes.

I have noticed that he needs constand strong stream of sensory input. He can be still but he has to have some sort of intense activity going on at the same time. Like playing on a tablet or watching cartoons. And still he might stay still while standing on his head on the sofa while watching the tv. He is the one who runs fast but falls often too. He enjoys tickling and touch.

His ability concentrate is limited. It seems that he has so much happening in his head that everything distracts him and he forgets what he was doing. I need to be close to him giving simple directions and frequent reminders just to for him to get dressed. I guess dressing up is just too boring. Sometimes it seems hard to get him to focus on me and to listen. His eyes wander around before finding mine and go on wandering almost immediately.

He has the weirdest mind of our kids. He once asked how much does a thin giant weigh and described how he would make such a big poop it would drag the ceiling of the bathroom down the toilet with it. He doesn't often share what is on his mind but when he does, one should listen carefully as one can never guess what he is about to say.

His big brother is very bossy type with strong need to be in control and they get along as long as he does whatever his brother tells him to do. He is mostly very flexible and this is where it really shows. When he was two and went into daycare for a first time, he barely waved goodbye to me. Just ran off to play with other kids.

Lately he has been putting everything into his mouth. It seems that he doesn't really believe me when I describe to him what might happen if he is for example chewing on electric cable or running around with small toys in his mouth. It seems that he would rather accept knowledge by experiencing it by himself. I don't think he even notices it every time he puts something in his mouth.

Sometimes he gets over active, out of control, when he is unable to think what he does and easily hurts himself or others. I have had to hold him down to calm him down. I do it as gently as I can and I am careful not to hurt him and I am never angry on those situations but he resists it strongly. He panics if someone holds him too tight and he is unable to move.

So who is this child? Any ideas?
 

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It's troublesome to identify a child's Type as their only well developed function at a young age is their dominant function. So if your kid has Ni for example you get 4 Types with Ni as the dominant function. Moreover, some children behave more like their Type analysis and some less. I hope you find your answer but I wouldn't rely on that if I were you.
 

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You may want to pick up a book on children personalities because it differs a lot from adults, you have a much broader perspective to look at with kids. MBTI judges how you perceive the world, so unless you can crawl into his brain and be him you won't have any luck typing him. From my understanding of MBTI the first Main function children use is sensing until they age they typically don't touch into intuition much. You may see some J/P tendencies but you won't know what sticks until later.

He will go through stages experimenting with different functions until he finds what he is comfortable with. Try to recognize that he will be changing a lot as he try's to learn himself and the world around him and support him while he tests each new brain function on his own.
Try a book called the child whisperer which is pretty good.

the theory isn't proven if MBTI is nature or nurture, i think it is 50/50. if you want him to be a thinker maybe give him tips like "think before you act on your emotions" if you want him to explore intuition get him thinking about anything abstract like space, future, etc. it may not work but at least you could help him improve on himself as a whole.


Just a note I feel your pain, my son (3 years old) is acting very sensitive and extroverted he is showing signs of being Je. It is fun to watch him grow, he was a very quiet baby. Hang in there! :happy:
 

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if you want him to be a thinker maybe give him tips like "think before you act on your emotions" if you want him to explore intuition get him thinking about anything abstract like space, future, etc.
Yeah... don't do this. It should be self-explanatory why attempting to impose a personality on a child is a bad idea; your child will be much healthier if you allow his functions to develop naturally and thus he can truly become himself.

In answer to the question - I would find it impossible to type a child of that age. As was mentioned above while it may be possible to identify the dominant function, the other functions are seldom developed enough at this age to make type identification possible - that is not to say that the other functions are not in use (quite to the contrary - children use all of their functions, often moreso than adults) but rather that a preference for the secondary, tertiary, etc. has yet to be developed.
 

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Yeah... don't do this. It should be self-explanatory why attempting to impose a personality on a child is a bad idea; your child will be much healthier if you allow his functions to develop naturally and thus he can truly become himself.
it would be imposing if I said "no, you have to repress your emotions." just offering your child advice on different ways to cope with life is not imposing. Although I figured somebody would come along and say this. :rolleyes:
It isn't bad to think of suggestions to help your child figure themselves out, if you continue to push it when they are more comfortable feelers this will create tension. I would like to assume that the mother of this child would be mature enough to not take it to an extreme.
 

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it would be imposing if I said "no, you have to repress your emotions." just offering your child advice on different ways to cope with life is not imposing. Although I figured somebody would come along and say this. :rolleyes:
It isn't bad to think of suggestions to help your child figure themselves out, if you continue to push it when they are more comfortable feelers this will create tension. I would like to assume that the mother of this child would be mature enough to not take it to an extreme.
Apologies, 'imposing' was probably a strong word to use. Nonetheless it's an important point to stress - there are people new to MBTI who will think 'yes I want my child to be a such-and-such' and attempt to influence them accordingly. Not that I can imagine an INFJ being like that but for the benefit of other people browsing the thread it is an essential caveat to state.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Yes, I were hoping that uderstanding him better would enable me not to expect something of him that is just not possible. I aim to let my kids grow into whoever they really are as I hope it would enable them to grow to healthy whole adults. Thanks for the suggestion about that book. I'll take a look into it.
 

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While I'd say that your child might show signs of a dominant function at age five (for instance, a preference for Se), MBTI really isn't the tool to use. Come back when he's at least twelve and we'll be able to tell something more.

I can tell you that he'll be Extroverted, but I have a feeling you already knew that. ;)
 
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