Personality Cafe banner

Help typing myself and parents. (Almost polar opposites)

815 Views 12 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  DatAssInDaGrass
Hello all. I've been here before. I've been contemplating my mothers type for some time but I can't really pick down to a few of them so I thought maybe some of you could try to give it a go.

My mother is.. *Sigh*

She likes to argue with me.... If I get home she'll purposely say something in some way so that she can make me annoyed. She tells me "Well who else am I supposed to argue with." Playfully.
She's a neat freak. Literally, she can't sleep if anything is out of place or not how she wants it which is the only correct way. Things in my room are still the way she says they should be.
She assumes that everyone thinks the same, and the whoever doesn't is weird or crazy, and if you call her weird or ask her if she is she gets offended.
If I do something once, she makes it seems as if I've done it a million times, and that I always do it, when I don't.
She's a fairly cold person, toward others, and I'm cold toward her which I don't think she likes very much. Reason being I think is because when I showed affection at some point she points out that I'm doing it, and makes a big deal about it, saying "Oh NOWWWW you want to hug me." I rather not deal with those kinds of reactions.

My dad is fairly similar.....
I tell my dad not to do something around me, and he tells me no normal people do this, this is the "Right" think to do, what I think is right, and everyone in the world thinks like me. (I just stare.) He then precedes to do whatever it is that I dislike done around me.

My dad seems more emotional than my mother, and if I hug him randomly, which I don't often, he could cry about it during the day.

When I tell him something is just his way of looking at something, he says "No! It's the only way, the right way, you don't know because you're young. I'm right."

:)
Anywho....

Now for me.... I thought I knew my type kind of but people around me have been talking about this all, and it has made me rethink my type over all.

A few things about me to not make this longer than it already is.

Typical things.

I over analyze everything.
Everything needs to make sense.
I love to understand how everything works, and how it came to be.
I'm always looking things up online.
I'm so far in my head, that I feel like a being stuck inside a human body. I'm just controlling it the body from my brain, like a puppet.
I think I tend to "just be" when around people. Anything people want to do is usually okay by me, and if it isn't, it becomes okay because they want to so it's just whatever.
I'm a pretty detached person.
Most things said to me don't really bother me, and I'm not sure but going by certain types, even though I'm sure I have them, I don't think I'm very big on morals.. You can so called "step over them" and I couldn't care less.
I think I feel numb more often then not.
I've been wondering how emotional I really am, or how often my moods really fluctuate, which I don't think they do that often.
I want to write something else, to show other aspects of me but I can't think of any, and I don't want it to sound to cliche so that it sounds to much like any type I'm aware of, I know about types, and I feel like I don't want to write things that sound like any type in particular to me. After reading so much over time I wish I could know nothing, to start from scratch and be able to type my self more accurately since i'd be unbiased to it. Any who that's why I'll leave it at that. :tongue:
If anything feel free to ask.
There are other things, a lot but I don't want it to be extremely long too, which I'm sure it already is.

Okay thanks. :ninja:
See less See more
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Can I ask you how old you are? Because this sounds a lot like a typical teenager/parent relationship so your conflicts may not even be entirely type related. Most parents are going to assert their authority and how right they are, especially pulling the "you're young so you don't know" card as their reasoning. And most teens are going to look at their parents like they're being overbearingly uptight and ridiculous a lot of the time.
I agree with @AimfortheBrain in some respects. It's particulary difficult to type someone when you mostly see them when they are angry. That said, if you feel that learning thier type is especially important to resolving/navigating your conflicts, I'd be happy to help. If you could give me some specific details about your parents relating to Fi/Fe Ti/Te etcetc would be especially helpful.
I also have opposite parents who I don't relate to (INTP dad and ESFJ mom. I'm INFJ (i think). My brother ENTP. We are a motely crew, we are.) I tried typing them for a similar reason when I was about 15. It was not specially helpful. I found that learning thier enneagram was much more useful. Just a tip.

I'm guessing you're an NP user right now, but I don't know enough about you from you to know more. Possible ENFP, maybe INTP? (the part about not feeling like you have strong morals?? hhmm) (Also, boy meets wolrd is my SHOW. love it.)
Anyway. More info please!
See less See more
Can I ask you how old you are? Because this sounds a lot like a typical teenager/parent relationship so your conflicts may not even be entirely type related. Most parents are going to assert their authority and how right they are, especially pulling the "you're young so you don't know" card as their reasoning. And most teens are going to look at their parents like they're being overbearingly uptight and ridiculous a lot of the time.
Hello. I'm 21. I'm assuming it could be that they are my parent's but I'm older now, and it's just....the way they have been, not just to me but to everyone.... If another person says something to my father for example, like my mom, or anyone else, he argues that he is right and he knows he's right. I this entire thing I would have probably thought not to put anything that is something they are probably telling me because they are my parents. I'm trying to state things that are things that I have observed of them on a general bases, this is just my experience with them. I don't really look at them as being " overbearingly uptight" I just.... Think they are this way, and I just don't click with it all too well. That's all. :p
  • Like
Reactions: 1
.....................................
I agree with @AimfortheBrain in some respects. It's particulary difficult to type someone when you mostly see them when they are angry. That said, if you feel that learning thier type is especially important to resolving/navigating your conflicts, I'd be happy to help. If you could give me some specific details about your parents relating to Fi/Fe Ti/Te etcetc would be especially helpful.
I also have opposite parents who I don't relate to (INTP dad and ESFJ mom. I'm INFJ (i think). My brother ENTP. We are a motely crew, we are.) I tried typing them for a similar reason when I was about 15. It was not specially helpful. I found that learning thier enneagram was much more useful. Just a tip.

I'm guessing you're an NP user right now, but I don't know enough about you from you to know more. Possible ENFP, maybe INTP? (the part about not feeling like you have strong morals?? hhmm) (Also, boy meets wolrd is my SHOW. love it.)
Anyway. More info please!
I'm not really angry, it's more of..... I know we don't get along, so I thought it would be interesting to find out there MBTI type. I don't think irrationally with anger or anything, so I'm not one to come on here and rant about anything. Curiosity just got the better of me so I decided to post a thread.

My father seems to use Fe, as he is very personable, loves people, makes everyone feel included and call them his friend. On another note be believe everyone had one way of looking at something, and whoever doesn't, is crazy. Or would be crazy because he doesn't even accept the possibility of someone not thinking something he thinks to be true.
Te/Ti I'm not sure about at all..... being as it is probably not his first or second function, which again I don't know, but maybe that's why I can't really choose one.

I think my mother could use Te.. and with the F i'm not really sure of either because I'm also assuming with her it may be more towards the end of her functions, so it's not as prominent.

More about me......

I'm not sure how stereotypically "Fe" come off. I don't really bend the truth, or sugar coat things. If you ask me a questions I try to answer as honestly as possible. I've heard INFJs could change or sugar coat the truth in order to not upset someone. I on the other hand, will say something like "Okay well I don't want to tell you -_- :p..... I don't want to upset you." And that'd be it.. If I tell them I warned them.

I can completely block out everything around me at whim. Like I could be in the car with someone, and a song that I don't feel like listening to plays....... I can literally go into this trance where all I am doing is maneuvering the car physically, but I am so in my mind that I cannot hear what is around me. Another good example would be at restaurants. If I'm talking to someone, all I hear is them most of them time. Sometimes I pay attention to the things around me and they become loud and unbearable, hence why I block it out. But mostly I just hear them speakings, not things around me.

Other things about me that I am not sure what type or functions they sound like......

I go in depth with mostly everything. I get along with INTPs fairly well, and there explanations are awesome for me. I like explanations that make some type of sense. If you explain something and it doesn't correlate with another explanation you gave me I quickly notice, and it's like... um.. that makes no logical sense. You said this.... But then.. that's contradicting... what? And by this point the person is annoyed at me. Getting an explanation that it's just a vibe or a gut feeling, doesn't work for me if I want an actual explanation that can be explained.

I cannot stand contradictions, even if I may have them here and there (Which is usually due to someones misunderstanding of what I said.) But I very much notice them, and I don't understand how they happen in a way.

I've heard I was hard headed, but I pretty much just go along with things, without making a fuss. If people want to go to eat somewhere I don't want, I just say it's fine, because it technically is, I'm sure I can find something. I know people that refuse to go places just because. I'm more let live in those kind of moments.


It's hard for me to get things down into verbal words, things make a lot more sense in my head then coming from me when I try speaking.

Depending on the types I look into I usually find something off. For INFJ it's this idea of Fe. INFPs, I'm not high on my morals,for Ti i'm not sure logical is my first thing.. thought it could be, but etc. This is where is gets difficult....

I hear I think very logical.
I have heard the contrary before also, though not as often.

Typical, but I dislike being around people, and my room is my haven.

Typical again, but I'm super detached... from everything around me, the world, feelings sometimes. It's feels sort of like I'm a brain stuck with a body. It's a feeling i've had my entire life, but I'm sure there is a better feeling than this.... Perceiving everything around me, being here in some way, living, and in the now every now and then would be awesome.

I've been told I give "witty" responses, and say quick sarcastic remarks, that are like somewhat reminiscent of Chandler from Friends.' (Only example I could think of.)

If I hear a song to much or talk about the past to much, it can kinda bring me back to the feel of that time and place I am talking about. It doesn't feel great usually, even if it was a good time. It goes away though.

I over think everything, the workings of everything, why things are the way they are. I think about human kind, and all of this, as natural as it is, would be great if I could control when I think about it, or when I think period. My brain is on overdrive all day it seems. Wikipedia and the internet are my best friends.

I research what I'm eating or something I'm using to find the history about it, and so not I know more about whatever it is I'm utilizing.

I tend to act opposite than the person. So if someone is really hyper and loud, usually I'll be quiet, but if the person is really quite then I can talk more and be a bit more silly. Not sure why. Two loud playful people doesn't seem like something I would like to cause maybe. Neither is two extremely shy quiet ones. So I do whatever they aren't. Not always, but just something I've noticed. if we're bot average then that doesn't happen obviously, and I can act the same way they act in the examples I give, depending, but usually not.

A function I think I use highly is Ti. Just from what i've read and know. I'm pretty big on things making sense, picking it apart and trying to understand it thourougly. I'm just not sure what my main thing is.

When I take functions tests I score high on Ni, Ti, Fi, and lastly Si. I agree with those myself, and I get them as results on my tests too, and not really any of the extroverted functions descriptions except maybe Ne somewhat. That's about it though, and I know it's not possible according to MBTI to have all introverted functions as the top 4.

I'm not that moody or emotional, I don't think. I can watch the news and not care as mean as it sounds. When I was little I would tell my mother I care about animals.. not this. I detach myself.

I don't feel mushy or nice when I see nice things around me, they just are.. Romantic things on tv, or nice gestures, or babies, or anything. Nothing makes me feel anything like "aw". I can pretend and show it with a gesture, but it'll probably come off sarcastic :p.

(I loved Boy Meets World too, and I still do :p)
See less See more
A function I think I use highly is Ti. Just from what i've read and know. I'm pretty big on things making sense, picking it apart and trying to understand it thourougly. I'm just not sure what my main thing is.

When I take functions tests I score high on Ni, Ti, Fi, and lastly Si. I agree with those myself, and I get them as results on my tests too, and not really any of the extroverted functions descriptions except maybe Ne somewhat. That's about it though, and I know it's not possible according to MBTI to have all introverted functions as the top 4.

I'm not that moody or emotional, I don't think. I can watch the news and not care as mean as it sounds. When I was little I would tell my mother I care about animals.. not this. I detach myself.

I don't feel mushy or nice when I see nice things around me, they just are.. Romantic things on tv, or nice gestures, or babies, or anything. Nothing makes me feel anything like "aw". I can pretend and show it with a gesture, but it'll probably come off sarcastic :p.

(I loved Boy Meets World too, and I still do :p)
I really like this site. :) I don't want to type you for you, but I think you'll know pretty instantly what is you when you read it. It may also help you out with your parents. Your dad sounds a bit like an ISFJ to me. Cognitive Functions 100: Basic Functionality Revised - INTP Forum
  • Like
Reactions: 1
I really like this site. :) I don't want to type you for you, but I think you'll know pretty instantly what is you when you read it. It may also help you out with your parents. Your dad sounds a bit like an ISFJ to me. Cognitive Functions 100: Basic Functionality Revised - INTP Forum
Thank you. ISFJ... Hm maybe hadn't thought of that. Though he's fairly out there, and loves people, talking to them, being the life of the part, etc. But yeah maybe, I hear ISFJS can come off pretty extroverted sometimes. And thank you. I would really like people to tell me what why think my type could be though. INTP is definitely a possibility as of lately.
I just can't make sense of what functions I agree with and which I don't, because I agree and do a lot of the things multiple functions describe. Also putting into order is another ordeal.
Thank you. ISFJ... Hm maybe hadn't thought of that. Though he's fairly out there, and loves people, talking to them, being the life of the part, etc. But yeah maybe, I hear ISFJS can come off pretty extroverted sometimes. And thank you. I would really like people to tell me what why think my type could be though. INTP is definitely a possibility as of lately.
I just can't make sense of what functions I agree with and which I don't, because I agree and do a lot of the things multiple functions describe. Also putting into order is another ordeal.
ugh. I know. It gets to be a rediculous, draining process. I'm hesitant to type you because I've been mistyped by folks on the internet, and was sent in to some crazy brain-loops that took a very long time to unravel. Talking to people online, you're almost always being compared to a doppleganger, or a vague undeveloped notion of type. It can get messy-- I'm starting to beleive one must go about it themselves, and patiently.

There's this guy named John Beebe who has a theory about the functions and archetypes that tries to anchor the 'slots' for functions in to different charachter roles. I find it pretty helpful, just thought I'd pass it on. Here are some links:
INFJ Archetypes (i like the visuals on this site, but it only walks through the infj processes)

Wellness Resources of Vermont

I also find it really helpful to research the inferior functions. Sometimes it's easier to know what we have a distaste for.
See less See more
ugh. I know. It gets to be a rediculous, draining process. I'm hesitant to type you because I've been mistyped by folks on the internet, and was sent in to some crazy brain-loops that took a very long time to unravel. Talking to people online, you're almost always being compared to a doppleganger, or a vague undeveloped notion of type. It can get messy-- I'm starting to beleive one must go about it themselves, and patiently.

There's this guy named John Beebe who has a theory about the functions and archetypes that tries to anchor the 'slots' for functions in to different charachter roles. I find it pretty helpful, just thought I'd pass it on. Here are some links:
INFJ Archetypes (i like the visuals on this site, but it only walks through the infj processes)

Wellness Resources of Vermont

I also find it really helpful to research the inferior functions. Sometimes it's easier to know what we have a distaste for.
Ah! :) That's a good idea. I will think about what I have a distaste for. It's still kind of hard but like much more of an easier task. I sometimes feel crazy when I try describing myself. I find myself making it, and describing things in a way that sounds much more complicated then it actually is. This is probably and issue with getting typed, or typing myself. I confuse myself. The only place I ever feel myself is alone, because around people I'm always becoming this person I'm not, like a chameleon thing, catered to a certain person. It can be good or bad, and it's hard to shake off. I'm trying though since it has upset one of my friends, and I feel bad since it isn't their fault.

Anywho thank you for the links, I will read them. You're like the only person that has responded to my posts so thank you very much for that. That mistyping thing does get messy. :/
See less See more
ugh. I know. It gets to be a rediculous, draining process. I'm hesitant to type you because I've been mistyped by folks on the internet, and was sent in to some crazy brain-loops that took a very long time to unravel. Talking to people online, you're almost always being compared to a doppleganger, or a vague undeveloped notion of type. It can get messy-- I'm starting to beleive one must go about it themselves, and patiently.

There's this guy named John Beebe who has a theory about the functions and archetypes that tries to anchor the 'slots' for functions in to different charachter roles. I find it pretty helpful, just thought I'd pass it on. Here are some links:
INFJ Archetypes (i like the visuals on this site, but it only walks through the infj processes)

Wellness Resources of Vermont

I also find it really helpful to research the inferior functions. Sometimes it's easier to know what we have a distaste for.
Ah! :) That's a good idea. I will think about what I have a distaste for. It's still kind of hard but like much more of an easier task. I sometimes feel crazy when I try describing myself. I find myself making it, and describing things in a way that sounds much more complicated then it actually is. This is probably and issue with getting typed, or typing myself. I confuse myself. The only place I ever feel myself is alone, because around people I'm always becoming this person I'm not, like a chameleon thing, catered to a certain person. It can be good or bad, and it's hard to shake off. I'm trying though since it has upset one of my friends, and I feel bad since it isn't their fault.

Anywho thank you for the links, I will read them. You're like the only person that has responded to my posts so thank you very much for that. That mistyping thing does get messy. :/
See less See more
Anywho thank you for the links, I will read them. You're like the only person that has responded to my posts so thank you very much for that. That mistyping thing does get messy. :/
I completely understand-- I think you're really fighting for this, though-- the describing you're doing doesn't seem to be lavish/indulgent/ superficial. This is a critical moment for you, and I think you know that. I don't know exactly what has happened with your friend, or what they are like. Even if they don't understand (no matter how clear you can make it) how important this is to you, this process (and all its stages) isn't something to feel guilty about. It's too necessary. The descriptions seem like a good instinct to me-- i'll just be a high school english teacher for a moment and urge you to always try and take everything the brainstorm process brings one step further. A lot of types have the chameleon tendency. If you can look in to it further and can figure out when you do this, why you do this, what you're hiding when you are, etctectcetc you might be able to find something about yourself that you feel is ABSOLUTELY true, and easier to understand/ analyze under the MBTI language.

I really hope that you're able to hit the nail on the head and start the real work. Not a lot of people use the what's my type forum regularly. You'll probably get more help if you drop in on the forums for the types you're thinking about. Good luck! :)
See less See more
  • Like
Reactions: 1
I completely understand-- I think you're really fighting for this, though-- the describing you're doing doesn't seem to be lavish/indulgent/ superficial. This is a critical moment for you, and I think you know that. I don't know exactly what has happened with your friend, or what they are like. Even if they don't understand (no matter how clear you can make it) how important this is to you, this process (and all its stages) isn't something to feel guilty about. It's too necessary. The descriptions seem like a good instinct to me-- i'll just be a high school english teacher for a moment and urge you to always try and take everything the brainstorm process brings one step further. A lot of types have the chameleon tendency. If you can look in to it further and can figure out when you do this, why you do this, what you're hiding when you are, etctectcetc you might be able to find something about yourself that you feel is ABSOLUTELY true, and easier to understand/ analyze under the MBTI language.

I really hope that you're able to hit the nail on the head and start the real work. Not a lot of people use the what's my type forum regularly. You'll probably get more help if you drop in on the forums for the types you're thinking about. Good luck! :)
Thank you. I've been trying to figure out why I do things, and what I'm hiding... But I'm finding it more and more difficult. I actually think that I'm going through and identity crisis after looking it up. I'm not sure what is wrong with my head, but I can't seem to understand or delve into anything in the past. Everything I think of, gets attacked with, "Well how do you really know this is how you are? Something could have affected you and this is why you are this way currently, but at the core you're not really like this." And so I can't figure out if anything I think is true any longer. Only certain things, but a lot of things I can't. And I do see that allot of people don't seem to use the type me forum, I get responses very seldom, but thanks for answering again, and I will do as you suggested. Thanks. :)
See less See more
  • Like
Reactions: 1
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top