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Discussion Starter #1
So after a week or so pondering my other threads (talk, retreat to analyse...) I'm back with more questions, this time on instinctual variants.

I have to say I don't really understand these in how they relate to me. Self pres doms take care of their physical needs, social doms try to find their place and sexual doms are thrill seekers who seek intense relationships and experiences but I don't really do any of these naturally.

When happy and almost completely free to do what I want when I want to do it (at uni) I often hid in my room and pretended to be out/asleep if people knocked on my door. Many times I would start a piece of work and get lost in it sometimes not eating "breakfast" until it was dark, one big meal a day was all I had some days. I work best alone and in one go (unless I get stuck when I need to try to explain it to someone, doesn't matter if they have no knowledge of the subject).

Not eating well, barely excercising, not wearing a coat when it's snowing outside, messy room - doesn't sound very Sp?

Next came a depressed period which included leaving uni without saying bye to the people I'd lived with for three years and effectively cutting all ties. I had previously played along with their lifestyle (playing football and smoking weed) but I stopped and after that I rarely saw them despite living in the same house. Possibly tellingly they still contacted me for annual reunions for a three years so they must have seen something they liked but they're too far away to bother with and when I did go to a reunion they were still doing the same things I'd moved on from years before, so I wont be seeing them again.

So now I'm back home, living with my parents. Once again I have near complete freedom (outside of flexible office hours :laughing:) but it's still very rare that I contact anyone for anything. The exception being online where I have a habbit of talking intensely to a girl for a couple of weeks wishing there wasn't hundreds (if not thousands) of miles between us before the conversation runs dry. One such interaction led to my fist and only relationship at age 25, and I've never been one to have close friends to talk to which along with living in my room suggests I'm no Sx dom?

In stark contrast to avoiding unplanned intrusions and not initiating it's very rare that I reject a social invitation. Be it as dull as a short walk with a colleague to the card shop at lunchtime or a game of bowling with friends or a night out in town or a house party I'm almost certainly there (my calendar being empty 99% of the time). But once there I don't really know what to do with myself, I have little interest in getting to know new people in person (if I haven't seen them before I probably wont again so it's a waste of time) and I don't have much to say to those I already know. Yet I do somehow soak up the positive vibes from everyone else so these experiences are far from draining and I'm usually there 'til the bitter end, checking everyone I know gets home safely. Unless the atmosphere isn't great in which case I'll disappear, often without telling anyone :blushed:

I'm thinking whatever variant I am is one that goes against the typical tendencies of my type (like a 5 So), so I'm struggling to see it.

What am I missing/misunderstanding?
 

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What is your enneagram type and are you very confident that you did not mistype?
 

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@Rim - I'm very confident that I'm not a 7 or an 8 and from reading around I'm increasingly convinced I'm not a 9 either (and I nearly added 6 to the "no" list, but who doesn't...). I don't think I'm emotional enough to be a 4 but having seen David Fauvre's deadpan demeanor who knows!

These variants are supposed to be separate so I was hoping deciding them would help with finding my type...
 

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Hmm then you should start by considering how healthy you are at this point of your life.

When unhealthy So, Sx, Sp they all become the opposite of what they normally are. They key to this is finding where you focus your attention more.

For me this is So and I'm an introvert, have social anxiety and am completely lost when it comes to being social, hate being in groups. My attention and fears focus on this thou. I have the least problems with and give the least energy to the Sp side of things. I simply worry last about Sp stuff.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Thanks Rim, health is a strange one. I think in all these areas I've been pretty consistent for most of the last 15 years which seems strange given the events that happened during this very long period.

I've never had or sought close friends but there have always been enough friendly people around to satisfy my very limited social needs. Even when I'm really down I'm able to maintain a happy act and not scare people away. When I go to the gym at the moment I wear earphones the whole time, barely acknowledging the people there. I don't need to fit in to be happy but have never been properly rejected and alone to know if this is really true. This past week I've had barely any social interaction and it hasn't bothered me at all. I don't do social anxiety either. If the discussion is interesting I'll join in effortlessly, if not I wont bother.

I've never worried about Sp stuff either because life is too easy for that, I've been given a healthy body (I'm sick now though - it's so annoying!) and a stable environment growing up and have never wanted for anything. It is often joked that I plan with my stomach but as mentioned above it's not really true. I enjoy a good meal but because I can have one anytime I don't bother to get one.

Which leaves Sx. This side of me has been almost non existant, given no thought at all. I never made friends in real life I could talk to in any depth, people are just there to do things with to fend off boredom. My dad was away lots so we weren't close and my mum was depressed so I wouldn't have felt right adding to her burden, leaving me very much to fend for myself emotionally. My solution was to turn my emotions off, to become a unflappable but unenthusiastic - constantly "ok" but never really good or bad. Much like everything else I expected a special someone to appear in my life without any effort and I wasn't distressed that it hadn't happened. Until I thought it had and got rejected... Suddenly everything changes and I feel compelled to play along with the game of life (I am a nihilist at heart, life is a pointless game) because feeling close to someone was life changing. Now I'm really worried about my incapability in this area, more so than the other areas, but I'm unsure what this says about me.

So, unhealthy 5 Sx/Sp who's just been shown the light? :laughing: I think a list of 10+ modern day concerns of each variant would be very useful but I'm yet to find one. And it probably varies a lot by type anyway :dry:
 

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Thanks Rim, health is a strange one. I think in all these areas I've been pretty consistent for most of the last 15 years which seems strange given the events that happened during this very long period.

I've never had or sought close friends but there have always been enough friendly people around to satisfy my very limited social needs. Even when I'm really down I'm able to maintain a happy act and not scare people away. When I go to the gym at the moment I wear earphones the whole time, barely acknowledging the people there. I don't need to fit in to be happy but have never been properly rejected and alone to know if this is really true. This past week I've had barely any social interaction and it hasn't bothered me at all. I don't do social anxiety either. If the discussion is interesting I'll join in effortlessly, if not I wont bother.

I've never worried about Sp stuff either because life is too easy for that, I've been given a healthy body (I'm sick now though - it's so annoying!) and a stable environment growing up and have never wanted for anything. It is often joked that I plan with my stomach but as mentioned above it's not really true. I enjoy a good meal but because I can have one anytime I don't bother to get one.

Which leaves Sx. This side of me has been almost non existant, given no thought at all. I never made friends in real life I could talk to in any depth, people are just there to do things with to fend off boredom. My dad was away lots so we weren't close and my mum was depressed so I wouldn't have felt right adding to her burden, leaving me very much to fend for myself emotionally. My solution was to turn my emotions off, to become a unflappable but unenthusiastic - constantly "ok" but never really good or bad. Much like everything else I expected a special someone to appear in my life without any effort and I wasn't distressed that it hadn't happened. Until I thought it had and got rejected... Suddenly everything changes and I feel compelled to play along with the game of life (I am a nihilist at heart, life is a pointless game) because feeling close to someone was life changing. Now I'm really worried about my incapability in this area, more so than the other areas, but I'm unsure what this says about me.

So, unhealthy 5 Sx/Sp who's just been shown the light? :laughing: I think a list of 10+ modern day concerns of each variant would be very useful but I'm yet to find one. And it probably varies a lot by type anyway :dry:
You are probably sp/sx and I don't know if you are a 5...doesn't strike me as a 5. Don't know why I thought type 9 when I read what you said. How do you feel about type 9? 9w1 sp/sx is especially a Si dom and can resemble type 5 in many ways. Some 9s confuse themselves with 5s.

EDIT: hmm now that I read the sp/sx type 5 description...hmm yeah I can see you as that. I'm fairly confident you are sp/sx.

I doubt you are Sx main....sx is very different and you don't seem to concern yourself much with So stuff either. When the description sais 1 to 1 relationship Sx, what it means by that is not just person to person relationship, but person-object relationship. Sx types are intense, with people or whatever it is that they desire, they are driven.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Thanks again Rim, you're agreeing with my first, completely uneducated guess (which may or may not be a good thing - I'm sure I over-think things and confuse myself as often as I gain clarity :laughing:)

I've been trying to avoid descriptions because once they get this specific they either have to be huge or vague and no-one seems to have tried the first option but to check we're on the same page this is the 9 Sx/Sp description you had in mind?

This subtype is self-effacing also, but is generally more assertive. They may be the subtype of Nine which is most aware of the boundaries between themselves and others and at the same time, possibly the most frustrated when those boundaries are violated. They can be aware of being walked over and they might even be aware of the anger it causes, but they become frustrated with their seeming inability to control this pattern. This is true, to some degree, of all Nines, but with the self-pres/sexual instinctual stacking, there seems to be a complex and interesting balance between the withdrawing energy caused by the dominant self-pres instinct and the assertive energy of the sexual instinct. This combination seems to raise consciousness of this dynamic.

Getting healthy for this subtype, and for all Nines, involves becoming aware of this dynamic and realizing they do have the power to control their boundaries. Part of this must come from the realization on the part of the Nine that they have invited this overstepping of their boundaries from others by not defining them.
Close relationships will usually work or not for this subtype depending on how well they deal with this issue.
Lots of stuff about boundaries, I'm not experienced enough in the social realm to relate to any of it which as I'm not exactly young suggests it's just not relevant... But what does the author call a boundary for the purpose of this description? who knows! I suppose spending a weekend helping a virtual stranger move house could be seen as being "walked over" but it gave me a chance to be useful so I enjoyed it. (Socialising through having a well defined role - like a 5? But then 5s are all about this "boundary" thing too...)

One thing that seems very apropriate about type 9 is the not knowing about anger - I really struggle to see any in myself. Thus 9(w1) is probably in my tritype but I don't think it's dominant.

To quote completely out of context (from another thread that got bent round to discussing my type):

I'd lay heavy odds that you're sx-last, though.
Any reason why, or thoughts on what may be first? :happy:
 

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I had the Sp/sx in mind not the sx/sp. Don't think you are sx first, second maybe (weaks sx) or last. :p if anything you should be thankful for that. Sx is kind of a curse sometimes. It is this one:

sp/sx 9w1

This typewingstack most clearly embodies Jung's Introverted Sensation style. They are the eyes and fingers of the universe examining itself. They are most aware of how everyone is connected indirectly through the swamps of psychic muck. They have a sense of adventure and view the world as a playground where they can move beyond the biases of their own ego by learning about the world around them. They learn about themselves by learning about others and they want to grasp every interesting person they encounter at the level of the unconscious....engagement isn't exactly necessary but rather they have an extrasensory decoder for the subconscious... They aren't burdened by social obligations, so their inner aesthetic is a daily source of nourishment. Their internal repose slows things down so they can get a better look and feel for the world around them....they see the textures that others miss and can articulate the texture in a way that taps into the electrical charge of reality. Their convictions and ideals are more personal than sp/so, but also unshakeable. They cobble together their own basic truths without the drag of social responsibility and embrace philosophies as flexible as necessary to accommodate their personal epiphanies...they believe that words and language are imperfect and childish tools to communicate these truths and epiphanies. They feel truth can only be hinted at through aesthetics such as art or film or music. They are drawn to and fascinated by the language of the unspoken and believe this is where all the intentions of life spring.... They view words as primitive and utilitarian, and attune themselves to the subconscious realm (under the spoken word) where it is impossible for people to hide their inner being....They can resemble 5w4s in their grasp for subtlety, but they are working at a more elemental level where nothing is purely true, but nothing is purely not true. All expression is a distortion of the truth that relates to the origin of the cosmos. Every act pertains to "god" "creation" the "singularity." Even people's masks and false propositions are distortions of this truth. They are more interested in the elemental forces that move events rather than the event itself. They have access to archetypes in the unconscious where mythological battles can be hashed out while keeping the 9 disconnected from their instinct. They have the freedom to play around with absurdity and imagine extreme 'violence' and destruction against the elements they have merged with in their imagination. They view life as a series of inevitabilities...They take a passive role in relationships as if they were fully merged with the universe's agenda to let all things happen as they must.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Ah, yours is more detailed - the one I posted was supposed to be 9 Sp/Sx but lacked the w1 along with the ... weirdness? In trying to describe a type that doesn't like words they sure used a lot of them :laughing:

I have to say that I'm not entirely sure I know what most of it says. I wholeheartedly agree that words suck and "They cobble together their own basic truths without the drag of social responsibility and embrace philosophies as flexible as necessary to accommodate their personal epiphanies" could be a strange way of saying I rewrite theories to fit the facts (as I see them) which also sounds a lot like me. I'm now contemplating whether I am trying to understand the myself first or am learning about myself through others - I was convinced I did the former but it's surprising how often I get insight from an unexpected conversation...

Thanks - something to think about. I can't imagine what the 5 one says!
 
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