[ZC Carbon]

I can't believe I'm even asking this, but how would I go about socializing... the normal way? By normal I mean the kind that doesn't speak from the realm of ego and identity, but of respect and... self esteem.

[Edit] Ugh, I feel dirty even saying those last two words.

 

[OctoberSkye]

What do you need to socialize for?

By self-esteem, did you mean you need to develop it?

 

[Frannyy]

study someone who's social skills you admire and respect and see how they do it.

 

[Miss Scarlet]

Is it just me or do ISTP's struggle in the area of not being socially awkward?

 

[OctoberSkye]

I think if you're socially awkward that, at least, means you're making some sort of attempt. I don't even bother. Smile and nod, grunt when appropriate, smile and nod. Introverts understand and extroverts usually don't even notice.

 

[alionsroar]

You ask how their weekend was or what they are doing next weekend or some other daft question about their opinions about any local or current events and then you consider poking out your eyeballs with a pencil as you listen to their boring stories and smile and nod appropriately.

Then they ask you about yourself.

Then you feel like boiling your head in glue because you can't be bothered talking about yourself so you brush them off with some boring two word sentence.

Then after awhile of you not sharing any opinions or stories or feelings, sometimes they get annoyed and leave you alone or they keep talking at you.

Actually that's not how you go about socialising.

 

[azrinsani]

Don't take this the wrong way... Maybe you're and ESTP with insecurity issues?
ISTPs should be ok being reserved cause they feel energized that way

 

[alionsroar]

ISTPs should be ok being reserved cause they feel energized that way

I'm ok with being reserved but I'm not totally ok with having so crappy social skills because I can't escape being often thrown together with people and well, maybe my Fe, although inferior, makes me want to please people sometimes and be the good social person.

 

[azrinsani]

Makes sense....

 

[Diphenhydramine]

Conquering your Self Esteem - PersonalityCafe

Maybe this will help you.

 

[teabiscits]

I can't believe I'm even asking this, but how would I go about socializing... the normal way? By normal I mean the kind that doesn't speak from the realm of ego and identity, but of respect and... self esteem.

[Edit] Ugh, I feel dirty even saying those last two words.

i'm not sure what you mean by going about it in the normal way. do you mean bragging and letting everyone know how awesome you are when you say speaking from the realm of ego?

if you mean being respectful to people by nodding and listening to one of their stories when it is boring the life force right out of you then i would say the most respectful thing to do would be to be honest with them and let them know you have no interest in that topic. you aren't being respectful to yourself or them by pretending and it could all backfire and they could want to be your friend and call you insessantly wanting to chat about more boring bullshit. i've learned that lesson the hard way.

my favourite form of socialising is just simply shooting the shit with someone and if they are incapable of doing that i don't bother with them.

 

[teabiscits]

maybe you could try taking the piss out of yourself. relay a few embarrassing stories about things you have done in the past. when you do this it encourages others to do so and a much more entertaining evening can be had than everyone playing it safe and talking about the lovely meal they had last wednesday at that lovely restaurant and so on and blah blah blah.

 

[dobsonianfx]

maybe you could try taking the piss out of yourself. relay a few embarrassing stories about things you have done in the past. when you do this it encourages others to do so and a much more entertaining evening can be had than everyone playing it safe and talking about the lovely meal they had last wednesday at that lovely restaurant and so on and blah blah blah.

What? and give everyone a license to mock and insult you? are you for real?

 

[ZC Carbon]

In not so many words, people need a certain kind of lube for their social engine, or they simply refuse to start. Simply being masculine, and speaking from confidence doesn't work. Instead I need to speak with a humble-passive-aggressive-feminine style. This is basic procedure with most people, but I don't understand it.

[Edit] Dobi, what the hell are you doing? Get your drama out of my topic.

 

[Frannyy]

In not so many words, people need a certain kind of lube for their social engine, or they simply refuse to start. Simply being masculine, and speaking from confidence doesn't work. Instead I need to speak with a humble-passive-aggressive-feminine style. This is basic procedure with most people, but I don't understand it.
.

It's called empathy.

 

[ThoughtProcess]

In not so many words, people need a certain kind of lube for their social engine, or they simply refuse to start. Simply being masculine, and speaking from confidence doesn't work. Instead I need to speak with a humble-passive-aggressive-feminine style. This is basic procedure with most people, but I don't understand it.

I have this problem, too. I don't get why I have to act like a beaten dog in order to get along with, what seems to be, the majority of people.

 

[Frannyy]

What do you guys want from people?? seriously. you all claim how you hate it when others talk to you and how you want to live in the mountains by yourself so no one can 'bother' you and then you complain about how you wish you had better social skills. What can the rest of the world do to make it easier on you guys? Please tell us so we can stop taking over your forums and invading your space.

 

[ThoughtProcess]

It would be super cool if people didn't confuse confidence with arrogance. It would be even more cool if people stopped bringing drama here. I mean, seriously, have you even read the description of an ISTP?

 

[Frannyy]

Oh so you want us to go by ISTP descriptions now?

 

[ZC Carbon]

It's called empathy.

Wonderful. I'm going to find ways to stay a loner now.