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Help your ENTP cousins if you can

4K views 25 replies 9 participants last post by  TheOfficialMe 
Hi All :wink:

This is only my second post, right after another one in an ENTP tread about our feelings.
As you have probably guessed, it seems a bunch of NTPs are completely helpless here. I know because I read extensively through the INTP forums, because I believe they are the smartest type :cool:

Nevertheless, after all that reading, I am scared. And NTPs are notorious for not knowing what we are feeling. Scared is a pretty clear feeling here :)

How do you do it? How did you not go crazy when you were developing your Feeling part, which with you starts pretty early. I have known tree ENFPs in RL ... and all of them do not seem to me to have particularly stable development or personality. And since Fe is the 3d function with ENTPs, we "hit puberty" pretty late with the emotional side of things. I can dissect them, analyze, imagine, etc. but in order to get them mastered, my NT mind is making me do something that does not feel good. And in particular, how and when and with whom did you learn to lie to protect people's feelings. As an ENTP lying like that is ... bad. Doesn't lying feel bad and how did you overcame that?

Any help will be appreciated!
1. You don't have to lie to protect other people's feelings. I personally believe in honesty and don't lie. I legitimately am sorry when I hurt other people's feelings but am always honest. When this hurts, I apologize and seek to correct my line of thinking. This way I learn new things every time someone gets angry with me.
2. If you want to learn how to use and cultivate Fe (the function that knows how to lie to protect feelings), ask ENFJs. They are intuitive so they can be much clearer about general trends in their function and there aren't many ESFJs on the forum so I think they wander other threads anyway.
3. The difference between Fi and Fe is that Fe is concerned with making people happy, sad, or dead right now in order to accomplish the good thing in the long run. Fi is concerned with doing the good/evil thing now so that everyone will be happy/sad/dead in the long run.
4. How do you do the good thing/be respectful of other human beings?
First, realize that other people that might think differently than you are not stupid.
Second, listen to people. Listen to what they are actually saying. If you don't understand what they are saying, say, "What do you mean by that?"
Third, think about how your actions will affect other people's lives in a negative or positive way. And ask yourself, "What did this person do to deserve my hostility? Am I being overly aggressive? Why am I angry right now? What do I feel about this person in reality? Where is this person coming from?" Etc.
 
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