I am only 17, and every day I find it more and more difficult to find a reason to get out of bed.
I feel so lost in life; my family doesn't understand who I am and my stupid high-school friends don't help at all.
I could go on and on about these things, but then I would just be whining and I don't know... I don't know where else to turn
Well.. I have a great life. At least one square meal a day, loving parents and siblings, but it's difficult to explain.
Other people are often the reason I feel so down all the time. I have never really fit in with the people I hang out with. They're all bigoted, opinionated phonies. My "best" friend is completely shallow and has this stupid habit of not liking whats popular. For example, a bunch of us went to Inception and we all liked it except for him, and he claimed that it was just stupid, but it was obvious he was too dense to understand the damn thing. And whenever I act lame around him, like friends do, he puts me down and makes me feel like shit... But this just a rant about him, sorry.
Anyway..
As depressing as it sounds, I just don't feel life is worth living. Every day I wake up and it's the same old routine. There just seems to be more horrible things in this world than good things, or I can't see the good things or something, I don't know..
I went to a therapist and he told me it would get better when I went to university or something, but I just don't know.
I could go on and on about these things, but then I would just be whining and I don't know... I don't know where else to turn
Well.. I have a great life. At least one square meal a day, loving parents and siblings, but it's difficult to explain.
Other people are often the reason I feel so down all the time. I have never really fit in with the people I hang out with. They're all bigoted, opinionated phonies. My "best" friend is completely shallow and has this stupid habit of not liking whats popular. For example, a bunch of us went to Inception and we all liked it except for him, and he claimed that it was just stupid, but it was obvious he was too dense to understand the damn thing. And whenever I act lame around him, like friends do, he puts me down and makes me feel like shit... But this just a rant about him, sorry.
Anyway..
As depressing as it sounds, I just don't feel life is worth living. Every day I wake up and it's the same old routine. There just seems to be more horrible things in this world than good things, or I can't see the good things or something, I don't know..
I went to a therapist and he told me it would get better when I went to university or something, but I just don't know.
I just want to say that everyone who has been so supportive and encouraging in this thread are f**king awesome. Just reading through this thread and seeing so many people reach out and giving their shoulders to cry on, their arms to be ran into, and their words to soothe...it's just an incredibly beautiful sight.
Holy Moly
Thank you everybody, I honestly don't know what else to say. I never figured so many people would reach out and try to help me. Thank you, from the deepest throes of my heart. :happy:
I will try to address all the individual issues here, I apologize if I leave out an aspect or two.
I write a lot. I have a journal type thing where I vent, and just write whatever comes to my mind. Sometimes I copy out really meaningful poems or interesting ones so I can always read them. Most of the things I write are pretty depressing, but I don't know, I believe there is great beauty in sadness, and nobody really understands that...
I do have some close friends, and all of them are actually girls and they each offer different solutions to my problem:
1- Prescription Drugs
2-Marijuana
3-Jesus
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate their concern.. but those aren't for me. Prescription drugs are not very effective for treating depression, Marijuana can become habitual and can just create a whole new set of problems for me and Christianity just isn't my thing. I respect a persons right to practicing their own religion, I just don't believe in that stuff. I'm an atheist at the moment, but that will probably change one day into something obscure probably.
Anyway
I have a job, and nobody there really likes me because I'm shy and reserved. Plus I just started so everything is a little overwhelming. I almost got fired anyway because my assistant manager hates boys, but whatever, I'm part of a union. I'm glad I'm making money, but it just doesn't seem to be that commitment I need. I am just so frustrated with everything, can't at least one great thing happen? It feels like all the great things happen to other people..
I've had a few relationships in the past, but they've never really worked out. Girls don't like guys like me I guess. It sounds pathetic, but every day I just day dream about that one special girl. Yeah that sounds lame but oh well.
And yeah, whenever I'm down (which is a lot..) sad music always seems to make me feel great. Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits, Neil Young and a bunch of esoteric bands always make my day.