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Hi

My friend is in a really bad place mentally. Basically he is in a frustrating situation, which he believe himself to be incapable of solving. Economic stress compounded by divorce, a new marriage and a brand new baby boy.

To be noted he lives in country in which he doesn't really speak the language.

A lot of people are already telling him constantly the obvious "get a job" be a "dad" get your shit together. So I don't see the point of pilling it on. He is developing a drinking problem.

It's a really big challenge in trying to figure out how to change a pattern.

I'm out of ideas, thanks for reading.
 

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Just ask him what he needs(like ask him to think through problems individually and what's bothering him about the situation), and help him accomplish it, and be supportive of it. I think that aligns with how Fi wants to operate fairly well, but with the emphasis on recovery and fulfilling his implied promises, while remaining centered.
 

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It would be very nice if you could find him a job, something that he could handle in his present state of mind, money not being the important thing for now, just something to help him get himself together. Once he's caught himself perhaps he'll move on on his own. It's very kind of you to think of him.
 

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Check my blog with "My Guide to INFPs". Some of it is relevant to this.

In short, don't tell him what he needs to do or even how to do it. Remind him of WHO he is, and express confidence in his ABILITY. Inferior Te is kind of like this little (or BIG & OBNOXIOUS) voice saying, "You can't do it" and "You're not good enough" because we've latched onto some impossibly high & harsh yardstick with which to measure ourselves & our abilities & accomplishments. So be a more realistic & encouraging "yardstick".
 
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... seeing you're in Vancouver I imagine the country is Canada. I'm a few hours away from Toronto which I visit regularly; and, from my experiences with the city and it's multiculturalism it's become evident to me that it's possible to work without mastering the English language. I imagine Vancouver to be more so. There are occupations which do not require the mastery of the English language because they don't require you to work with other people.

There are employment centres staffed with people who will help people find work regardless of circumstances. Their aim is to help people with their resume, work on interview skills, and have a database of specific with job postings. The other options are websites like workopolis and monster. Avoid placement agencies with whom you have to sign a contract and take a percentage of your wage. Employment centres are funded by the government to help people find work.

There's a large Hispanic community in my city; and they are often staffed with people who know Spanish, Arabic and the oriental languages. Given the vast demographic of the city he will be able to find someone who speaks his native language. The solution is not to tell him to get a job but show him where to look. It's also important to keep him from spiralling down.

I'm not sure to say to provide emotional support, considering I know nothing about this person and INFP doesn't say much. What is important is to help him find options. Show him where to look, and how to keep looking. If you know someone who is a hiring manager, you might be able to talk to them about what they look for in a candidate, what resources are available in the community, etc.

Your friend; as with other introverted perceivers, will lead with their introverted judging functions. This might give introverts a certain blind spot as their extroverted perception function serves Ti/Fi. Our blind spot is that we're fickle and don't always have our minds made up about anything.

Ti/Fi doms = stubbornness
Ne doms = confusion/indecisiveness
 

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This scenario really makes me a bit cross. Such nitwits. It's possible that you could help him by guarding him from the lot of other people. It could relieve him from social distress very much I think, if you would bruise some of his friends feelings on his behalf. Stir up some nitwit indignation.

I never ask for this but: I love it on the rare occasion that others stick up for me. It relieves me from having to stomach the world on my own. All the best, and then some.

P.S. If the "f" word in the picture below poses a violation of rules: sorry, a warning will then suffice. Thank you.

 
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