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Helping An INFJ Identify An ENFP In Public

1334 Views 6 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  Little Egg
So I Marco Polo (video message app) an INFJ that lives down in northern California, I've mentioned her in passing previously. Last night she asked me how she as an INFJ can identify an ENFP, particularly ENFP males, in public as she really wants to date one of us but needs to find us.

It was an interesting question. I came to the conclusion that in public, especially in a social sphere (RE: party), we would *appear* to be similar to ESTPs. The life of the party.

But I also felt that if we were single and fascinated by INFJs (as many of us are) we would seek them out for a one-on-one chat and then discuss real issues, not 'small talk' or at least minimize the 'small talk'.

Also, I project outwardly my interests reflected in my clothing (most of which is Stranger Things, Back To The Future, Top Gun, Zelda, themed stuff) and my apartment is a veritable museum of my interests. Movie and video game memorabilia and pop culture themed quirky art is all over the walls. I figured that might be shared with many ENFPs and help her identify us.

Anything to add?
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Good question :) As we probably see here in PerC, our thought patterns and way of thinking and discussing tend to be quite similar thus sounds like easy task to recognize us right :)

But first thing which comes to my mind is that it probably isn't that easy as it might theoretically sound. When I led a seminar in my work group about MBTI we also identified ourselves and if I remember correctly there were 4 ENFPs (including me) out of approx 30 people. We all look quite different from outside considering how much everyone talks, how open or private they seem etc. So it looks like our type comes in quite various "formats" and is very versatile.

For one ENFP guy I thought he's definitely INFJ before I knew his type but he confirmed that my explanation about Ne is really who he is inside :) Other guy of that type looks very quiet and inwards oriented but as he was yet very new to the group and from other nation than most of the members, it could explain. Yet he confirmed too that he related to everything I was talking.

I also pre-selected one person from every dom perception type as an example and immediately got stuck finding Se example. I asked help from couple of workgroup members unaware of mbti and gave them some basic descriptions about Se. They pointed out that ENFP girl as nobody else looked nothing like that description for them. Later it appeared that I was stuck finding any Se example because no any Se types in that group.

So as you see, the task to identify ENFPs could not be that easy.

Also it seems like our self perception could sometimes be quite different from how others perceive us which makes it even more complicated to say by myself how to recognize us :)

So I rather asked from my INFJ partner how she could answer to your question. Got information like this:

- they seem to often exist in their own "bubble"
- depending on the situation (but not always) they could be very lively and talkative, offer many ideas and feel urge to immediately implement them
- are interested in other peoples thoughts if those include broad, abstract and interesting topics
- often offer various solutions to the problems

I'd add by myself that probably sooner or later one would see ENFP using many metaphors during discussion and have seemingly random jumps between topics or thoughts. Also as you can see based on my post, they can take single simple question or idea and quickly expand it to whatever other related ideas and connections popping up in their minds - maybe that helps to recognize too :)
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