Well, he cheated on me and lied. My 'spidey' sense was activated and I knew something wasn't quite right. I even wrote in my diary that day (the day after he cheated) that he seemed flat!!
A little bit of time went on and I was finding myself really irrationally sad and not coping. One night when I had a few drinks with friends I came home and took down the posters and paintings (I had painted) off all of my bedroom walls. My reasoning at the time (I was drunk) was that 'I didn't want him to be able to see 'inside' anymore. This is after we had been going out for over a year! Evidently he was no longer viewed as in the 'safe' category. I dismissed my behaviour as something wrong with me - maybe bad PMT or that I needed to see a counsellor about drinking or anger issues. Then we had a really good talk the next day, and I even asked outright whether he had cheated. It was a really calm, forthright conversation. He said no.
Then hey presto, one Friday (2 weeks after the cheating event) I found out that he had. I checked his phone (which I have never done in my life!) and there it was: him bragging to one of our mutual gay guy friends about 'pulling a random Yank cougar'. Our friend wrote back 'LOL'.
Well let's just say that was about it for me. I haven't contacted our mutual 'friend' because I couldn't believe his reaction and I am having basically no unnecessary contact with the ex.
A drunken one-night stand is one thing, but to come home, sleep with your girlfriend, tell her that you love her and lie when asked directly in a trusting and loving conversation...NAH!
That was about 6 weeks ago, and I still get angry sometimes but mostly I am relieved...what a close call...and thank GOD! I trusted my instincts over my usual 'privacy-morals' or I would have thought there was something wrong with my head.
Trust your instincts!!!!!! If it's smelly - it is probably off!!!!!!