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Discussion Starter #1
Hi there,

To be honest I started hanging around personality type forums to work-out how to deal with my ISTJ partner who, I adore but jeepers does he annoy the bejeepers out of me!he drains me big time but thanks to some fabulous insight I've gained from reading all types of info we're actually going to make it! :happy:

I finally GET him! Yep- he stills pisses me off but I can sort of laugh about it more these days. Well till next time anyways!

I'll probably ask some really stupid questions, make some crazy impulsive assumptions and hopefully inspire some folks as well.Thanks for the opportunity to say hello...:happy:
 

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MOTM May 2011
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Another annoying ISTJ says: Welcome:happy:
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Ohhh...I should have added despite the fact that I find his personality annoying and difficult at times- I have the utmost respect and admiration for him too. I wouldn't be with him otherwise.
 

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I can relate!

hello Australian enfp! ;)

That's part of the reason I'm here too... trying to understand my partner! I'm infj (I think!) and he's isfp (i think!) so we're really in pretty different worlds most of the time...

what are the nature of your annoyances/struggles?

as i mentioned, for us, different worlds... i'm hoping for some meaningful conversation at particular times, or for engaging intellectual repartee, and he's just toodling along, in the moment, completely unaware that I'm expecting this. Sometimes, if I express it, it turns into a row... and is usually unresolved...

but like you said, i adore and admire him and we do have an amazing connection in many ways...
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Hi Eliku;

It sure seems like there’s lots of people wanting to work on having a better understanding of a loved one or SO. I used to think that we were on completely different planets, let alone merely worlds apart! I get plenty of meaningful conversations but quite often they mean zilch to me...LOL.

The best way is find some common ground; something you both enjoy, are interested in, or perhaps you may find you share the same really important values which can bridge the gap tremendously. (That’s where my partner and I relate very well together) Look up stuff like what annoys / inspires them, what they like / dislike, etc and go from there)

Funnily enough my SO actually knows me really well. And he’s always let me know that he isn’t going to change! Go figure- I wouldn’t want him to change really. We have sort of agreed that I will make a list of guidelines (not rules) which are fair for everyone in our household to enable a smoother-happier living arrangement. His two adult daughters left home abruptly because they can no longer stand living with his exceptionally high standards and constant negativity. I saw this coming a few months ago but he refused to listen. Typical! Once again he left our family home again taking his kids with him...and now they've moved out of his new home. But since I now have a bit-better understanding of how his mind works, personality type traits, etc I am better equipped to support him through this tough time he has inadvertently caused. Hopefully in time he will repair the relationship with his daughters; I truly hope so anyway as it’s really eating him up.

What are the nature of your annoyances/struggles?
The main areas that we have troubles concern the way we do things so differently- he is so logical, organized, brutally honest, etc whereas as I tend to lack the initial logic steps although I am also honest and organized in a different way. If that makes sense. I know that he loves my optimistic and forgiving nature but it can grate on his nerves when I won’t shift my focus regarding situations which require empathy, benefit of doubt, trust, etc. Basically the difference that causes conflict concerns issues around being kind despite feeling deeply wronged, especially by those closest to our hearts. He has trouble with forgiveness and accepting that people (especially his kids / co-workers / family / friends / work colleagues) may not share his methodology when it comes to life-skills, interpretation, attitudes, etc) Disagree with him and look out. You cannot win an argument with him and I have had counselors tell me he is a bully suggesting I should leave him; but in reality he isn’t a bully at all- he just wants what is best for those he cares about / for. And truth is- he usually is totally right with his opinions / beliefs, etc. I think I am the one person that has gotten through to him on a very, very deep level. Mind you; I really do piss him off big time! But...ces’t la vie!:happy:
 
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