[NoxiousRogue]

Hello everyone! After first taking the test several days ago, and extensively researching my type and lurking, I've decided to make it official and join here. Moving on....

To my fellow ENTPs, I'm curious, how were your high school years? Were you popular, a loner, happy, depressed, etc? I ask this because I'm currently in high school, and I feel peculiar, as though I just don't belong. The unusual thing is, I'm confident, playful, most people see me as pretty cool/normal, and I'd even describe myself as moderately popular. Internally however, I just feel like I don't belong, as though I'm just wired wrong in some way, for I lack any sort of connection to most people my age, and care about very few of them. Me living in a conservative ******* area probably doesn't help either. :dry: This feeling of isolation wouldn't bother me, if it weren't for my mother's constant probing of my life, and confusion at how I seem disinterested in what seems important to most teens my age. I'm fine with my own behavior, but her constant badgering leaves me feeling bizarre at times. Anyways, what I'm asking is, have any other ENTPs felt like this during their high school years?

Please don't take this as negative thread though, I'm very upbeat and happy, this mainly stems from curiosity. Also, I'm sorry if a thread like this has been done recently, I didn't skim through the past threads.

 

[WildWinds]

Yeah, I can relate. And welcome to the forum btw =)

I'm in California, so I didn't have the conservative ******* problem. But there were very few people I could connect with and cared about. I was popular in the sense that everybody knew me and generally liked me or thought I was cool, but I definitely didn't fit in with the popular clique. I found most people to be too superficial, I had nothing in common with them, and they had nothing in common with me.

I pretty much just hung out with the eccentric band geeks and drama nerds and other various outcasts and we formed our own popular clique.

 

[Jazzlee]

I can definitely relate to that as well. I'm currently in high school too, though our high school is mostly divided into four huge cliques: the Swedes, the non-Swedes, the exchange student geeks, and the loudmouths in the program that always fail everything. All of them have their separate popular cliques, except the latter two whose popular people hang out with either the Swede or the non-Swede popular clique.

As for me, I've tried hanging out with both popular cliques, but I don't really feel like I belong with them. Like WildWinds, I felt they were too superficial. So me and my best friend formed our own, 'neutral' clique that occasionally hangs out with both. I still have friends scattered in the different cliques, though, and I know a lot of people, so I'm still considered moderately popular, like you. And the way you described how your peers perceive you almost matches mine perfectly. I felt like I didn't really belong either, until I found that it was easier to distance myself from the different cliques and just form my own =) Maybe you should try that?

 

[yesiknowbut]

It's been a very long time for me...but yes, I can relate. I felt at home for the first time when I went to university. Apparently this is common for NT women. Can't answer for the men.....

 

[NoxiousRogue]

Thanks to everyone who replied, interesting to see I'm not the only one. (this forum's one of the few places I can say that) I'd definitely say superficiality is a big issue though, I can get along with all of the "popular" kids very easily, but they're often so stupid and shallow that I can't stand to be around them for more than a minute or so. I actually have my own "clique" of sorts, that spans most of the social groups from the outcasts to the jocks, but I still lack any sort of closeness to any of them.

Regardless, thanks for all the advice/help.

 

[WildWinds]

I have very few friends that I have actually clicked with. I think what I go for mostly is an intellectual connection, which is difficult to find when people are concerned with reality TV, video games, and drinking/clubbing.

But it did get better in college. I'm a biology major, so at this point, I'm around nothing but other biology majors for my classes. And most of them are much more similar to me in that regard. There's really no biology majors who don't care about intellectual pursuits. Thats basically what science is about. Pursuit of knowledge and understanding.

I'm sure when you start college and you are able to get more into whatever it is you're interested in, you'll find more people you can connect with. High school was honestly a waste of time for me. It was 4 years of superficial socialization. You'll take the same exact classes a second time in college.

 

[abitsilly]

lol I found myself hanging out with the geeks. I didn't have a good time at school, but now everyone thinks I'm some sort of cool god, and I find myself having to back off instead of taking charge sometimes, because they might put me on a pedistle. I'm just not comfortable taking the lead. My mother has backed off a bit since school and she's only just recently realised that I am very smart! lol Anyway, listen to the song, let it be. That might help.

 

[Olmed3011]

Welcome Noxious, you joined the right gang:crazy:

Its been a while since high school.

I was not a classic outcast and troublemaker but I was never the teachers pet. I would say that I came on as different even if I was no "freak". I think this is because of controversial ideas/comments and my resistance to the social norms. Even if I have matured and learned how to adapt I still carry an inborn resistance to non-logic situations and people. In addition truth and justice are still strong pillars. I used to think it was something wrong with me because I never truly seemed to fit and get along so well. And even if it sounds volatile I think the MBTI has helped me to understand more about why things seemed to be like that:laughing:

 

[NoxiousRogue]

Welcome Noxious, you joined the right gang:crazy:

Its been a while since high school.

I was not a classic outcast and troublemaker but I was never the teachers pet. I would say that I came on as different even if I was no "freak". I think this is because of controversial ideas/comments and my resistance to the social norms. Even if I have matured and learned how to adapt I still carry an inborn resistance to non-logic situations and people. In addition truth and justice are still strong pillars. I used to think it was something wrong with me because I never truly seemed to fit and get along so well. And even if it sounds volatile I think the MBTI has helped me to understand more about why things seemed to be like that:laughing:

What's very interesting since discovering this board, is that it's like you people take the words out of my mouth, which is something I never was able to say before. I really wish I could meet a fellow ENTP in real life, but I've yet to be so fortunate. :mellow: Thanks anyways. :wink:

 

[WildWinds]

I've actually just recently met my ENTP match. Its really interesting to note the similarities and differences between us. He involves himself in RPG as an alternate reality, mine is more through books and my own imagination. I think his Fe is actually better than mine, he's incredibly thoughtful, but my Ti is better than his.

At the same time, we're both completely oblivious to things that should be obvious. When we hang out, god knows where we will end up because we don't make plans, so everything is a last minute "hey lets go here and do this!". He's fun to be around and we can pretty much talk forever about anything.

 

[NoxiousRogue]

I've actually just recently met my ENTP match. Its really interesting to note the similarities and differences between us. He involves himself in RPG as an alternate reality, mine is more through books and my own imagination. I think his Fe is actually better than mine, he's incredibly thoughtful, but my Ti is better than his.

At the same time, we're both completely oblivious to things that should be obvious. When we hang out, god knows where we will end up because we don't make plans, so everything is a last minute "hey lets go here and do this!". He's fun to be around and we can pretty much talk forever about anything.

See, that's exactly what I wish I had in a friend. Someone just as crazy as me, to bounce my energy and ideas off of.

 

[ENTPreneur]

It's been a very long time for me...but yes, I can relate. I felt at home for the first time when I went to university. Apparently this is common for NT women. Can't answer for the men.....

Yep. Normal for NTs.


Original poster:
Horrible before Gymnasium/High School, University was great.

I had a hard time socially until University. Matured slowly, really bad classmates and hardly any Ns around.... I also got critically ill (tumor) at age 16. Experimental laser surgery at 18. Death scraped my paint, and not many persons my age could relate to this in any way. I use to say that I never have been 20 (mentally). This did NOT make socializing with "superficial" youths any easier, I can tell you that. I felt so old at times.... And in other situations like a little boy (well, I still do).
It has been quite a while since school though.....


MBTI has helped me too.... As well as this forum... Welcome to geek club

 

[sonicdrink]

I think that is many ENTP's experience. We have a very outgoing wonderful personality, but then when we think on the inside we notice just how different we are than just fitting into one group. I think most of us are wanderers in high school. My best friend in high school was someone I only hung out with for one year b/c she was an exchange student. We clicked so well though, so we still keep in touch. It's very hard to find that one awesome friend, but when you do, make the best possible time with it.

 

[Olmed3011]

What's very interesting since discovering this board, is that it's like you people take the words out of my mouth, which is something I never was able to say before. I really wish I could meet a fellow ENTP in real life, but I've yet to be so fortunate. :mellow: Thanks anyways. :wink:

Yes, know what you mean:happy:

 

[Jacinto]

I can relate. People see me as a pretty cool, smart and funny guy, and sure, I like some of the poeple in my school. But bassicaly I'm somewhat of a loner. I just have a hard time talking about sports and chicks all the time... Almost all of my classmates are ST och NF and our interests are vastly different.
I simply don't have very fun in school, especially since it feels like school is more adapted for people that don't really like learning. I frikkin love it, but right now i feel pretty discouraged. At least I have some NT friends outside of school with whom i can discuss politics, religion and philosofy all night long.
I hate not getting enough intellectual stimulus...

 

[Rugwyn]

Highschool? Only a year ago... I think I can recall...

I felt different, but I think that was an imbalance. I mean, I felt different because I was homosexual but not ghhheeeeeeyyyy, like, with pink and rainbows and stuff. Personality-wise? I felt superior sometimes, inferior at others, but never was I just part of the crowd. And no one saw me as such. People either thought I was a great guy, really loyal and what have you, or they hated me. Some hated me because I was gay, some because I was intelligent, and some just flat-out envied me (I wish I were more humble, I really do).

It's hard to assess the way I felt throughout highschool. I found a niche of real thinkers-- people who honestly thought instead of just thinking when there was a test or homework or something. Even the two Feelers thought more than most people. I guess that's what kept me from feeling so out of place. I knew I didn't fit in with the majority, but I had a niche, and that's what it was all about. I'm really a balanced E, so it wasn't a big deal to not have a massive group of friends. I had four really close friends, and then most everyone else was just "a friend".

 

[xrevolutionx]

I hung out with the popular crowd. For some reason my weird style of thinking was never rejected. They definitely thought some of my rants were weird but they liked me for my individuality. That's not to say I liked high school. I hated it, in fact. Teachers and admin didn't like me too much. I detested their rules and how we were treated like mindless children. It wasn't uncommon for me to get detention for taking a bite out of a cookie in class (no eating in class) and then getting suspended because I didn't show up to detention (my way of protesting. I felt I didn't do anything wrong so I wont serve the time). That type of behavior might also be why the other kids liked me.

Teachers during my senior year were good to me though because they saw that I was not one to follow arbitrary rules. There was a good understanding that I acted like an adult and expected to be treated like one just as teachers wanted to be treated the same.

 

[Oldlady]

Hmm... how would I describe the past 4 years of my life? Absolutely horrible. I still don't understand why people say that ENTPs are popular. Granted, I did feel accepted and liked in a few of my classes throughout high school, but most of the time I sit at my desk saying nothing, trying to analyze my problems. I am extremely absorbed in them... trying to overcome depression, trying to become more extroverted like I used to be... egh.

I basically lost my mojo for a long period of time. I became SUPER Ti. So Ti that I thought it was immoral to use rhetoric in debate. If I hadn't had that traumatic event with the Socratic method in 9th grade, I might be an entirely different person.

Hey! Now that I think about it... okay, in middle school I had real friends who made me feel valued. But high school may have been the first time in my life that I was accepted by a class as a whole. Okay, high school was and still is a really depressing time for me, but maybe I grew a little, ay? And Ti! I became a Ti MASTER! I also learned that introspection doesn't suit me, and can often lead to depression...

xrevolutionx, I did a similar thing with diet coke in sixth grade.

Did you go through an introverted phase? I'm super non ENTP, and it's making me depressed. I considered going back to the fun, gregarious ways of the ENTP... but they now seem foolish and ignorant in comparison to the far superior sorting of Ti. I have no opinions now! I am a changed woman! I am also scared to socialize.

It's interesting, but popularity and success with my peers really scares me. I mean... I thought that they hated me. It feels like I'm just putting on a show for them. I felt pressured for a while, and even cracking jokes was a risk. What if I said something that wasn't funny? And the social anxiety... I still can't deal with rejection. I guess I've gone soft. Any tips for getting along with the teenage world?

 

[ENTPreneur]

Hmm... how would I describe the past 4 years of my life? Absolutely horrible. I still don't understand why people say that ENTPs are popular. Granted, I did feel accepted and liked in a few of my classes throughout high school, but most of the time I sit at my desk saying nothing, trying to analyze my problems. I am extremely absorbed in them... trying to overcome depression, trying to become more extroverted like I used to be... egh.

I basically lost my mojo for a long period of time. I became SUPER Ti. So Ti that I thought it was immoral to use rhetoric in debate. If I hadn't had that traumatic event with the Socratic method in 9th grade, I might be an entirely different person.

Hey! Now that I think about it... okay, in middle school I had real friends who made me feel valued. But high school may have been the first time in my life that I was accepted by a class as a whole. Okay, high school was and still is a really depressing time for me, but maybe I grew a little, ay? And Ti! I became a Ti MASTER! I also learned that introspection doesn't suit me, and can often lead to depression...

xrevolutionx, I did a similar thing with diet coke in sixth grade.

Did you go through an introverted phase? I'm super non ENTP, and it's making me depressed. I considered going back to the fun, gregarious ways of the ENTP... but they now seem foolish and ignorant in comparison to the far superior sorting of Ti. I have no opinions now! I am a changed woman! I am also scared to socialize.

It's interesting, but popularity and success with my peers really scares me. I mean... I thought that they hated me. It feels like I'm just putting on a show for them. I felt pressured for a while, and even cracking jokes was a risk. What if I said something that wasn't funny? And the social anxiety... I still can't deal with rejection. I guess I've gone soft. Any tips for getting along with the teenage world?

Sadly, it is far easier to just view it all as a "game". Look at those ENTPs who write about being "womanizers" or not having problems with connecting etc. Common factor is that they relate to it as a game. I too, felt the way you did. You want someone to love you for who you REALLY are, and thus do not wish to put up a mask. Understand that few ever shows who they really are. Many dont even know who they are, arent interested in it and those who do might not be brave enough to open up. Why? because of the results you just described. Feeling like the odd peg. And showing who you really are and getting rejected is far more hurtful than otherwise.

It is far easier to play along in the charade. I havent, but i really can see that it has been a bother for me in life to be as open and straightforward as I am. At first you might want to play the game, until they open up. THEN you might see some real soul. Most are afraid otherwise, and deem you a nut. Sad but true....

I would say this is why there are threads about "ENTP and manipulation" etc: It is easier to learn to play the "game"... even if it is not the real us. And lets face it: When being true to oneself and repeatedly getting the icicle stabbed in your heart in return, it really hurts. So it can be a good defense mechanism to become a facedancing manipulating "prick". At least you get what you want.

I do NOTt advocate becoming an asshole. But treating it just a little bit more like a game in the beginning wont hurt... If you see the underlying principles (see above) behind it and are true to your standards. And you wont be as disappointed by your surroundings.

I hope you got something out of this rant...

 

[Oldlady]

I think that I did. Viewing it as a game makes it all much more impersonal, though it only solidifies my position as a lonely outsider. I spend a lot of time fantasizing about being understood and listened to, but when I come back to the real world and try to interact I feel like there is a wall between my peers and I.

Okay... I understand that people will not like me for who I am, but I don't want to be "fake". I don't want to pretend to be an SJ... that would be stifling. I'm searching for some way to be who I truly am, but with some twist that will make people like me. You know... a lovable eccentric?

I really am so detached from my peer group as a whole that I don't think of myself as odd in any way, though people have told me I am. Infact, I remember getting a signature in my yearbook from someone about how they admired the way I was not afraid to walk to the beat of my own drummer. I didn't even realize that I was doing it. I was put up for vote on "most unique" in middle school, which, as it turns out is an INSULT, but I didn't know that. I didn't win.

What is it about the teenage ENTP that makes them different or weird in comparison to their peers? Honesty?