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Hi fello ENTJ's, lately I've been having difficulties in social situations at school with my classmates and in general. I carry very high standards and I've noticed that the people around me seem to be 'intimidated' by the way I carry myself and talk, such as being very direct, goal oriented,cunning and having zero tolerance for b.s. because of my personal standards. For example, some people will often get a stunned look by my critical attitude on how I emphasize hitting my goals. Often times I encounter 'friction' with my peers because I have a natural commanding voice/attitude. However for me to become the person I aspire to be, I must embrace my commanding presence.
I just want to be myself more.

So my question is How do I carry myself and my high standards full force without worrying about intimidating others?
Thanks.
 

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Hi fello ENTJ's, lately I've been having difficulties in social situations at school with my classmates and in general. I carry very high standards and I've noticed that the people around me seem to be 'intimidated' by the way I carry myself and talk, such as being very direct, goal oriented,cunning and having zero tolerance for b.s. because of my personal standards. For example, some people will often get a stunned look by my critical attitude on how I emphasize hitting my goals. Often times I encounter 'friction' with my peers because I have a natural commanding voice/attitude. However for me to become the person I aspire to be, I must embrace my commanding presence.
I just want to be myself more.

So my question is How do I carry myself and my high standards full force without worrying about intimidating others?
Thanks.
How do they say?

(...) in sheep's clothing.

That is the key.

Nobody will obey to you till you don't give them the chance to obey you without consciously knowing they are obeying you.

Be polite, as women would put it — remember that appearance is everything, in society.
 

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Hi fello ENTJ's, lately I've been having difficulties in social situations at school with my classmates and in general. I carry very high standards and I've noticed that the people around me seem to be 'intimidated' by the way I carry myself and talk, such as being very direct, goal oriented,cunning and having zero tolerance for b.s. because of my personal standards. For example, some people will often get a stunned look by my critical attitude on how I emphasize hitting my goals. Often times I encounter 'friction' with my peers because I have a natural commanding voice/attitude. However for me to become the person I aspire to be, I must embrace my commanding presence.
I just want to be myself more.

So my question is How do I carry myself and my high standards full force without worrying about intimidating others?
Thanks.
Similar to the above,

I see you have found IRON, now you have to pull VELVET over it, so you don´t hurt everyone around you.

It is good to be more yourself, I want to be that too! You have just to be a little bit flexible now and then, so that other people follow you on your way as ENTJ. Else it will be a stony lonesome way.

Try to mix your goals and standards with a little bit more openness (not confrontative ^^), and as you are still at school, make cool memories and perhaps you can even build a few useful connections with other ones, to work on common projects or whatever you want.

Being yourself doesn´t mean to ignore the world. Even as a BOSS you have to lead your team, and to get their respect. That doesn´t comes naturally, you have to earn that.

Hope that helped, coming from a ISTP ^^
 

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Don't expect people to respect you just because you have a commanding attitude, the effect is often the opposite (they might pretend to respect you, but it won't be true, or they might just outright hate you and try to get in your way). Don't think that you're above them, respect them as individuals just like you, then try to show them your value as a person/leader (if you want to be one). I've known an ENTJ who failed to do this, he was too arrogant to acknowledge his own mistakes, and that's why he ended up with no one by his side.

But, take this advice as you wish, I'm an INTJ who doesn't have the proper skills/ambition to become a leader (as I am now). If you wish to talk to other ENTJs, go to the ENTJ subforum.
 

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- Always be unfailingly polite
- Always smile when you are communicating with others
- Focus on your study so you can go to the Ivy Leagues or the equivalent in your country.
 
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