Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and Type 4
I recently found out I am an HSP. It's taking me a while to understand what I can perhaps learn and use from this discovery. I know when I learned my mbti and enneagram, it took me a while to understand how to use this knowledge.
So I just wanna know, are there any other HSP 4's out there and how does being HSP affect you? And do you think one can learn to avoid some of the pitfalls to being an HSP or is it something we just gotta live with?
For example, I get really tense and anxious when I'm being harshly criticized or talked down to. It is a split second automatic reaction/feeling and I really just want to run away and find some calm/peace. I have been driven to tears and can sometimes mope around for days/weeks because of what someone said to me. I just feel really bad, like I have been stabbed and its pain fills my entire thoughts/spirit. And it is like I can't control this bad feeling, nor can I ignore it either. Anyways, I used to think that I should just accept that this will ALWAYS be my reaction to such situations and that it is the result of being an Fe-dom and a type 4 together...but now I am wondering if it is more an HSP thing?
And if it is, does anyone here believe that there is a way to alleviate this reaction? Like, is it possible to "desensitize" myself to others' "insensitivity"??? What I am hoping is that perhaps the older I get, the more likely some harsh words can just roll off of me, as a result of my past experience with them. For any HSP's here, do you think it possible for an HSP to get thicker skin?
Cuz so far, the advice I find is more about how to accomodate yourself being an HSP, but I haven't found out much hope that says you can actually learn to make yourself less of an HSP. Perhaps, it does exist, but I haven't read it yet. Or it is impossible to make yourself less HSP...
I believe that ultimately I will never "outgrow" being an HSP. I know there are some words/phrases that if said at the wrong time would really devastate me and that I wouldn't be able to protect myself from the blow and that will be okay. I will just have to do my best to recover fully. But my hope is to be "less" of an HSP, to find a way to be less sensitive to some things that have really bothered me in the past.
I hope that I can develop a thicker skin for some of the minor harsh words/blunt criticisms that I usually encounter when I am out in the "real world". Because just thinking about the kinds of reactions I had to such experiences in the past, really makes me want to stay indoors at all times and become a hermit (though I am an extrovert and I need to have contact with others). It actually makes me wish I was a "thinker" who doesn't feel as threatened or hurt by harsh words (which is what I erroneously assume, but don't really know...I bet there are thinkers who have their feelings hurt all the time, too).
It's a fear that I haven't really acknowledged before, but I want to overcome and hoping PerC can help by offering their experiences and thoughts.
(I know there is an old thread about it, but for the sake of keep things more fresh, I started a new one.)
So I just wanna know, are there any other HSP 4's out there and how does being HSP affect you? And do you think one can learn to avoid some of the pitfalls to being an HSP or is it something we just gotta live with?
For example, I get really tense and anxious when I'm being harshly criticized or talked down to. It is a split second automatic reaction/feeling and I really just want to run away and find some calm/peace. I have been driven to tears and can sometimes mope around for days/weeks because of what someone said to me. I just feel really bad, like I have been stabbed and its pain fills my entire thoughts/spirit. And it is like I can't control this bad feeling, nor can I ignore it either. Anyways, I used to think that I should just accept that this will ALWAYS be my reaction to such situations and that it is the result of being an Fe-dom and a type 4 together...but now I am wondering if it is more an HSP thing?
And if it is, does anyone here believe that there is a way to alleviate this reaction? Like, is it possible to "desensitize" myself to others' "insensitivity"??? What I am hoping is that perhaps the older I get, the more likely some harsh words can just roll off of me, as a result of my past experience with them. For any HSP's here, do you think it possible for an HSP to get thicker skin?
Cuz so far, the advice I find is more about how to accomodate yourself being an HSP, but I haven't found out much hope that says you can actually learn to make yourself less of an HSP. Perhaps, it does exist, but I haven't read it yet. Or it is impossible to make yourself less HSP...
I believe that ultimately I will never "outgrow" being an HSP. I know there are some words/phrases that if said at the wrong time would really devastate me and that I wouldn't be able to protect myself from the blow and that will be okay. I will just have to do my best to recover fully. But my hope is to be "less" of an HSP, to find a way to be less sensitive to some things that have really bothered me in the past.
I hope that I can develop a thicker skin for some of the minor harsh words/blunt criticisms that I usually encounter when I am out in the "real world". Because just thinking about the kinds of reactions I had to such experiences in the past, really makes me want to stay indoors at all times and become a hermit (though I am an extrovert and I need to have contact with others). It actually makes me wish I was a "thinker" who doesn't feel as threatened or hurt by harsh words (which is what I erroneously assume, but don't really know...I bet there are thinkers who have their feelings hurt all the time, too).
It's a fear that I haven't really acknowledged before, but I want to overcome and hoping PerC can help by offering their experiences and thoughts.
(I know there is an old thread about it, but for the sake of keep things more fresh, I started a new one.)
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Hey there, I'm a Type 4 and an HSP!!! As this type of person, one of our BENEFITS is having a "thin skin": we receive others' emotions, impressions, ideas, etc. really easily, without trying. This does not have to mean that we are easily offended, however.
You can learn to separate the information you are receiving ("he's so mad at me!!") from how you feel ("I can tell he's really upset with me, but I think I did a good job here"). Does that make sense?
Trying to force yourself to have a "thick skin" or avoid your personality traits will lead to a lot of confusion and difficulty, because if you try to close off part of yourself, you end up limiting what you're capable of.
Glad you're accepting where you're at
it's weird for me, feeling like I'm so sensitive/weak...but technically, I am really AWARE of things that most people never notice! If I can keep a level head, this is an invaluable skill for most relationships and jobs.
You can learn to separate the information you are receiving ("he's so mad at me!!") from how you feel ("I can tell he's really upset with me, but I think I did a good job here"). Does that make sense?
Trying to force yourself to have a "thick skin" or avoid your personality traits will lead to a lot of confusion and difficulty, because if you try to close off part of yourself, you end up limiting what you're capable of.
Glad you're accepting where you're at
it's weird for me, feeling like I'm so sensitive/weak...but technically, I am really AWARE of things that most people never notice! If I can keep a level head, this is an invaluable skill for most relationships and jobs.1 - 1 of 1 Posts
