[Third Engine]

I don't usually ask for advice, but I'm going to try... Anyway, I just got back to my dorm after driving 5 hours from my house, and I feel like I'm about to fall apart. I feel so damn homesick, and it just sucks because this is becoming a reoccurring thing for me. It happened a lot last year, my freshman year, which is to be expected, but I transferred to a college, and it seems like the more time goes on, the more homesick I get I miss my parents, who are probably the most important people in my life, my city, my old friends, and I'm thinking about transferring to a university about 25 minutes away from my house. The problem is, is that I've already transferred once, and I'm afraid that having three colleges on my resume might look bad (even though I plan on going to grad school). But, I just really can't deal with it.:sad:

What should I do? Also, should I go see a counselor?

 

[KaylRyck]

Sounds like home is very important to you.

If you're emotionally attached like that, and don't plan to move away for a career after you wrap up with university, maybe it'd be best to stay right where you're comfortable hey. I wouldn't worry too much about the resume thing, whats more important is that you're not stuck in a place where you feel unhappy and incomplete.

Everyone's different (I for one could move away from here pretty happily, though it'd be difficult to part with my best mate) - so its just a matter of gauging how you feel, and if you'd prefer to go out in the world and make new friends and pave a new path, or just stick with what you know, the people you already love and the place you already call home.

I think its a matter of choosing family, or career. And if you can have both, that's even better!

 

[Jojo]

Do you work? When I went to college I was two hours away and I never wanted to go home. My roommate was from the same town. He went home but I loved where I lived. However, that was pre-online unlike today. Try Skype and another idea is search for a online meet-up that is from your area or state it might help.

 

[Third Engine]

Sounds like home is very important to you.

If you're emotionally attached like that, and don't plan to move away for a career after you wrap up with university, maybe it'd be best to stay right where you're comfortable hey. I wouldn't worry too much about the resume thing, whats more important is that you're not stuck in a place where you feel unhappy and incomplete.

Everyone's different (I for one could move away from here pretty happily, though it'd be difficult to part with my best mate) - so its just a matter of gauging how you feel, and if you'd prefer to go out in the world and make new friends and pave a new path, or just stick with what you know, the people you already love and the place you already call home.

I think its a matter of choosing family, or career. And if you can have both, that's even better!

Thank you very much for this. I guess it is pretty obvious that home is really important to me. I really don't plan to stay where I'm going to college right now even I do stay here and graduate--I'll probably either get a job or go to grad school in my hometown, so maybe I really should consider going back home and finishing college there. It probably won't cost me anything at all to do it either...

I guess my biggest problem is that my parents really want to me go out into another place (where I am now) and stick it out, whether I'm unhappy or not. Maybe I just have a different perspective than they do about where I want to go in my life, and maybe I just need to make my own decisions regardless of what they think.

Thanks again.roud:

 

[NotaPrettyGirl]

I am in the same situation. I am in another country, away from my family, pets, and friends (in no particular order..oops on putting my cats before my friends!). I've been away from home before, but never this far. I haven't the funds to travel back home, nor the time off from work (I am teaching overseas). Moving this far from home was a big decision which I did not jump in to right away; the thought process was over 2 years. However, when I put my mind to something, I complete the endeavor for the feeling accomplishment. My reasoning for moving is to further my career. I think you have done the same by choosing a college that will meet your needs. Remember, Skype is free and phone calls can be made easily. It is difficult living in a country where I do not speak the language (I'm in Beijing), but I have met some really great people. Try networking with new friends. You will look back on this experience with either regret or joy. It is in your power to choose which path you will travel. I wish you solace and joy in your new town. Always remember: What you do in the present always reflects what will be in the future. If you are able to tough out another 2 years, it may be worth your while!!

 

[KaylRyck]

Thank you very much for this. I guess it is pretty obvious that home is really important to me. I really don't plan to stay where I'm going to college right now even I do stay here and graduate--I'll probably either get a job or go to grad school in my hometown, so maybe I really should consider going back home and finishing college there. It probably won't cost me anything at all to do it either...

I guess my biggest problem is that my parents really want to me go out into another place (where I am now) and stick it out, whether I'm unhappy or not. Maybe I just have a different perspective than they do about where I want to go in my life, and maybe I just need to make my own decisions regardless of what they think.

Thanks again.roud:

Not a problem mate! I just think there's some people who just WANT to go out there and explore the world of opportunity, make money, power, authority, fame...and then there's others who want to love life, settle down, and be happy with their family and their hometown - and eventually the wife and kids they'll have of their own some day.

There's nothing wrong with that, and if you desperately believe that's you: do it. Yeah you might upset some folks in the meantime but its your life, and if its what you're absolutely sure you really really want - I think they'll eventually come around. :happy:

 

[pinkrasputin]

Oh sweetie, I just want to give you a hug. I remember feeling like that. It will pass.

What worked for me, was getting involved in community theater at the time. Are there any group activities you can do? Some where you get really close to people? Sounds like you are used to having a family around and a place that always accepts you. Can you find anything that might make you feel part of a new family? This is an important skill to be learned. You can use it for the rest of your life, no matter where you go or who might leave you.

I'm sending you cyber hugs and cyber warm milk and cookies. :happy:

 

[Third Engine]

Oh sweetie, I just want to give you a hug. I remember feeling like that. It will pass.

What worked for me, was getting involved in community theater at the time. Are there any group activities you can do? Some where you get really close to people? Sounds like you are used to having a family around and a place that always accepts you. Can you find anything that might make you feel part of a new family? This is an important skill to be learned. You can use it for the rest of your life, no matter where you go or who might leave you.

I sending you cyber hugs and cyber warm milk and cookies. :happy:

Thanks, pinkroud: I really appreciate that. I'm actually a part of a small group of 4 other guys that's a part of a Christian ministry here, and we meet once a week for about two hours or so and just talk about life, and I think that's going to really help me get adjusted here. I'm also pretty close to getting a job here.

 

[wiarumas]

I read a study that being homesick is actually a feeling of loss of security and familiarity (like a child who is going through the loss of a security blanket or stuffed animal). You have to re-establish a way to feel comfortable in your new environment. Find out what you are actually missing about home (it has nothing to do with home - is it your family, friends, financial reasons, emotional support, etc) and figure out how you can fill that void.

 

[Hardstyler]

I never liked home but I miss my friends alot. I personally like hand written letters they feel much better then Facebook or IM. I also like skype with a webcam.