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I'm not sure if I want advice or I'm just looking to vent. I feel like I may know what I have to do logically, but...

I'm falling in love with someone who I'm really quite certain is not going to work for me. It seems totally ridiculous, because it's only been a couple days--literally--but just for fun I played the "love game" (based on a study by Dr. Arthur Aron) with a young woman I met online. (Even where I met her is pretty ridiculous for me, but I'll skip that part.)

I'm not sure what I was thinking. Probably looking to boost my ego after a bad relationship (separated, getting a divorce after years of effectively misery with an ISTJ.) I didn't think this thing would honestly be this effective...

We only got through 27 of the 36 questions and she's already calling me "hubby," we're exchanging hearts, she's telling me how cute she thinks I am, we both say how much we just love each other, and... ugh...

WTF am I doing? I finally came out and told her that I was afraid of breaking her heart, and she said it's okay and that that's why we wouldn't be doing voice chat any time soon for both our sakes. Even as I write that, my heart skips a beat thinking about how completely considerate she seems...

The thing of it is... She's in India and I'm in the US. I told myself I wasn't going to do a long distance relationship again. (That's how my wife and I started out.) I also know we're not really religious compatible. She's just a matter of days older than my ex, and as an ENFP she's in the same quadra. So many bad signs honestly, and yet...

Ugh...

I guess I'm not sure if I should keep stringing this along for what I thought was just going to be a bit of fun (it's definitely a huge ego boost for me at this point) or if I should just, like, completely cut ties with her now or something.

*sigh*

Also, part of me wonders if I'm not taking this all too seriously. Maybe she doesn't feel as crazy about me as she says and if I cut things off it won't be a big deal. Maybe I'm a fool for feeling the way I do. Maybe we both are.

I don't friggin' know. It's so crazy because, we've talked for hours and exchanged pics, and with the "love game" ended up sharing a lot of somewhat detailed personal history and feelings (which is kind of the whole idea of it I guess). But... I mean it's still hypothetically possible that she's not even who she says she is, it being the Internet and all. Of course, I know on the other hand that this is true in any kind of relationship, but damn. I feel like I'm probably a huge fool.

@[email protected]!
 

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The vulnerability of love is such a bitch. Ride that wave homie, can't do much else.
 

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Stop projecting an idealized fantasy on her. Trust me, her shit is quite, quite stinky.
That's not true. Girls don't even make a stinky!


But seriously, if she is in India. phew... that has got to stink.

Authentic Indians stink enough in public. Would hate to smell them in the loo

edit: my apologies to all who might have misunderstood my vague statement. @DarkBarlow is right. It isn't the race, it is the diet.
 

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But seriously, if she is in India. phew... that has got to stink.

Authentic Indians stink enough in public. Would hate to smell them in the loo
Please allow me to rescue you before someone conflates race and culture and drops a million pound shithammer on your ass:

That's the curry talking.
 

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I don't have anything else to add. I'm simply quoting you because I enjoy seeing this come up again and again. ^

It never gets old for some reason.
You clarified my statement for all would-be thin-skinned people. I have no qualms about giving acknowledgement.

I don't see why, my saying it, is so incredible. I'm a 10 year child. Does a 10 year old child's opinion mean that much to you?
 

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What's so foolish? You're having fun. Keep your exit plan handy, and you're good.

Edit: just reread to see what you're afraid of is "breaking her heart." I thought you were afraid of email or something, and was boggled. She's a woman, right? And an ENFP to boot. Her emotional intelligence is going to outstrip yours by a mile, so she'll be breaking her own heart, if that's what happens. She'll see it coming years before you will. As long as you aren't downright deceitful, you're off the hook on that count.

For example, "I'm willing to wait to let you hear my magical voice" is right out of the book of seduction. She's good. (And there's nothing wrong with being good at this.)

All that said, post divorce is really the time to sleep with all the kinds of people you would never ever marry. It's tradition, and you'll never have the chance again, provided you learned anything from your first marriage you can apply to the second.
 

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I read 'hopeless romance' and came in thinking it would be about my situation: having no idea if she wants anything romantic with me

:sad:

You might string yourself along anyway if Fe gets its way. You'd have to detach yourself and think long and hard about who do you really want as your partner, and also ask yourself the basic questions: will the cons outweigh the pros? is short-term satisfaction worth what I foresee happening?
 

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@OP : Don't trust what she says, it's as simple as that. She likely doesn't understands what she says the same way as you. Distract yourself, try thinking about something else. That doesn't mean you have to stop interactig with her, but keep your distances. Look for deal breakers, but don't make them up, and don't let your feelings fuck you up, like mine did to me.
 
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