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Hey as you may well know I'm very introverted in many cases though I appear social and bubbly on the outside. I am the most inexperienced guy when it comes to girls, even though ironically i spend more times with girls than with guys and the only guys i hang out with are in the nerdy/geeky club :p I have severe chronic loveshyness (coupled with social anxiety) which has impaired me from initiating any romantic relationships in the past. I also have difficulty reading social cues.

There's this girl in my grade that i have a crush on and i think the feeling is mutual... How the hell are we supposed to get together, when I can barely get the courage to hug her, let alone ask her on a date? I normally don't mind hugging girls but when i like her i'm scared to death of touching her because the last time I touched a girl "romantically" (not inappropriately mind you) i kinda misread her signals and made her uncomfortable and now she avoids me and ignores me. I don't want this to happen again.

How do we let each other know our feelings (or lack thereof) for each other if we're too shy to do it? I think we'd be really good for each other, she is a sweet, extremely quiet, caring and smart girl, and I am a very nerdy and quirky INFP with 0 dating experience.

Also, from the more experienced people, how fast should this thing go? Not just for right now, but also for future reference? And what to do with possible awkwardness???

For the record I have NOT asked her out yet, though I plan to do so before the christmas break. Any tips?

What should I know about shy girls' preferences, from shy girls in this forum? Because girls are different from guys and shy girls' preferences will not necessarily be the same (thoug similar) as that of guys.

I also am asking this for anyone else who is in my or a similar situation. Thanks!
 

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I remember feeling that way, what seems like eons ago now.

Just talk to her. Get yourself psyched up and just do it. Throw it out there. If she says no it's not the end of the world, and every girl (especially shy girls) need a guy who will at least step up and try it.

Don't worry about how fast it should or shouldn't go. Just let it unfold. The path will create itself so long as you gather the guts to begin forging it. Take the first step, then go from there.
 

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I don't know how it happened. I guess I just lucked out.
Neither of us really pressured anything or tried to rush it. A lot of concern was given to staying on the same page.
 

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Being on the same page is very difficult between two introverts in my experience. Especially when both are particularly shy as in this case. Good luck OP, I suggest just mild flirtation so that she knows whether to invest or not. If she does than it will take a but if patience, but she should understand the situation if you are this shy and introverted.
 

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Also, from the more experienced people, how fast should this thing go? Not just for right now, but also for future reference? And what to do with possible awkwardness???

For the record I have NOT asked her out yet, though I plan to do so before the christmas break. Any tips?
As fast as each of you want it to go would be my answer to the first question. A key point here is to communicate what are you asking and just put yourself out there.

The awkwardness could be an interesting discussion point or possibly isn't going to be noticed on the other side.

For the very few dates I have had, I would generally suggest just going out for a coffee or some simple chat and seeing if there is enough of a spark to warrant a date. Course this is the careful route that I'd choose.

Know how much planning you want to do for this, make a plan of the appropriate detail and then follow it. Good luck!
 

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You'll most likely have to chase a little bit. I suggest asking her to go do something, just don't use the word 'date'. it makes it LEAGUES easier. After you two hang out a little bit and open a line of communication, things will naturally just sort of, take root. You can hint how you feel and she will likely reciprocate. At that point, you can more formally ask her out (I guess you guys do that where you are?)

You know like,

"Hey, do you like x movie?"
"Yeah!"
"I hear it's coming to theaters and I don't really want to go alone. Wanna come with me?"
"Sure"
<Insert planning and various stuff here>

You can play the innocent card and you should be just fine. Just find ways to get her alone with you(man that sounds creepy), and open lines of communication. After that, things will happen naturally.
 

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If they're still teaching people how to write in school, instead of just typing, I say write a note, put your name to it, and stuff it into her locker so that you can't take it back after you did the deed. This will give you an opportunity to ensure you have what you want to say done and said with out her presence tripping you up on every second syllable. Make sure you put in there that it's ok if she leaves the answer in a note as well since that should increase the likelihood of a response.

I know people on this forum will shit on me for making this suggestion, but I've been there. Lame baby steps first, work the confidence up a little at a time. It will be slow and there will be pain - you might not even get her in this endeavour - but the steps will be important for next time, and possibly the time after that. Anyway, a journey of a thousand li and all that...

Good luck.
 

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You don't. I avoid extreme introverts.
 
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