My greatest problem with people is they don't realize I don't literally mean what I say. Also most of the things I want to communicate demand imagination, something that takes time and effort. (I can understand the time thing, sometimes it makes no sense to say something that is going to take a long time to say, but I do wish more people were willing to put in the energy had the time been there!)
My point, if ENFJ's are abstract and thoughful, how do they have such good social skills? You ever seen an INFJ? It's not pretty. INTP? Horrifying. Yet ENFJ it's like no sweat I don't get it.
Funny that you bring up this point. I have an INTJ friend who, I think, does not like that I analyze everything in him and around him. His body language, his intonation, his microscopic muscle movements...I pick all those up during our conversations together. One thing that I have noticed with my little interactions with INTJs (I have the fewest INTJ friends out of all the Myers Brigg combination) is that they seem to be in their head a lot while I am talking to them, or they seem do be doing something else. It does not bother me unless they're doing it intentional to piss me off. Now the thing is, I can relate to this as well as when I am talking, I am in my head thinking and analyzing a lot too. With INTJs however, they seem to be more blatant about their thinking (I watch INTJs think, even if they think I don't see that they're thinking, I KNOW...and other ENFJs KNOW!!!) where as ENFJs hide their thinking while conversing. We just do it somehow, I really don't know how.
I have also noticed with INTJs is that their intonations seems to be more down/negative sounding (not saying you guys are pessimistic) but there is a difference in intonation. I think if an ENFJ were to say the same thing as an INTJ has to say, it may sound important, yet it does not defend and it might be even funny, but it does get the point across. With my mentee, I've notice that I used illustrations to lessen the blow, in which he laughs, but I do get my point across, such as being more honest with me, and he actually is (He's an INFP). When I had a INTJ as a mentor, his body language would tell me he doesn't want to be bothered. He would be stiff necked, talking to himself (without voice, I watched his mouth move though...meaning that he's thinking), and his diction usage would be more straightforward (which is good) but at the same time more harsh. There are better ways to say things obviously. With me, his body language + diction usage = double blow on the head.
I think what helps us ENFJ, as mentioned before, is the Fe in us. We're able to look at people's body language and translate it to the feelings that they have inside. For me, people with Ts tend to be tricky because I may assume a feeling that they are not feeling but because of their body language and their intonation of their voice, and it has happened to me many times with Ts, good friends too. I have asked a friend to compared an INTJs writing style to an ENFJs writing style. Both excellent styles might I add. INTJs is objective and straightforward with their ideas, giving key visual insights while able to express their thoughts clearly. With an ENFJs style, beautiful elaboration of their emotions, flowery expressions of the language and abstract connections of their writing that makes the reader able to relate and feel what they are feeling. Just comparing the two, there is a big difference in which they are presented. Both excellent styles yet difference in how it is presented. The point of that illustration was to show being straightforward may not be the best thing. Some people are sensitive...we live in a very diverse world. You may need to apologize if what you say sounds harsh, but that also takes training since people have their own bias and may not know that something may sound harsh to another person when it doesn't sound harsh to you. I guess its growing more of that Fe side of yours. That would really help you benefit in understanding others and knowing the feelings that's going inside of them. ENFJs, when we get hurt (at least for my experience), we're able to act as if nothing happened since we don't like offending the other person even if it offends us. Later, we think about it, cry about it, etc, and may or may not decide to tell the person, that hurts. (I'm a little more straightforward so I tell the other person if it did hurt or not.) But I guess that was my rant about INTJs....I just got hurt by one today so that's why this is all fresh...:crying:
