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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Most people would describe themselves as inherently good people, but whether it be a misunderstanding, tough love, an honest act of assholiness, or a heated moment, you may be seen as quite the opposite to someone else. This can be a difficult label to shake.

Feel free to take a narrative approach, but how are you the villain of someone else's story? Looking forward, did it change anything about the way you do things? Did you discover something about yourself? How are things now & how do you feel about that?

As for my own story,
 
Back in high school there was this kid who was a bit of a class clown and pseudo-bully of sorts. I say pseudo because he was like 4'10 and 85lbs -- he wasn't physically intimidating whatsoever. However, he did have a tendency to harass some of the more timid people to get some laughs by the rest of the class. I've seen him drop a pencil down the back of a girl pants as she leaned forward because he wanted to see if he could get it stuck in her butt crack that was showing. In one instance during gym class, he threw a basketball (hard) straight into a girls face exclaiming she was ugly and deserved it -- he pretended it was an accident and nothing was done.

Now, for whatever reason he took a bit of a liking to me and kept trying to be around me. This doesn't mean I was immune to some of his antics as he would make up things and tell girls I liked them, did dirty things imagining them, told teachers I thought they were gay and so fourth. What's interesting is that he had such a terrible reputation while mine was pristine, but he was surprisingly convincing whereas I was too passive to defend myself -- so they all took what he said as true.

The final straw for me is when he would end up stealing a bus ticket from me worth $75. He swore adamantly that it wasn't him and I fell for it. Later, I would find out from a friend that this guy was bragging about taking it -- I've never turned more vengeful in my life. I made it my mission to get this kid more than just a slap on the wrist which was what he had been getting for some time now.

I reported it to the school and the police would end up getting involved. When I met with his parents in private, I noticed they were still fairly new to the culture here and it was really important for them to fit in. As they both cried while wanting to hear what I had to say, I embellished every story, I made up more (trying to rape a girl), I said that people were after him, he was hated by everyone, I even eluded to them being bad parents. I honestly felt like I ripped out their hearts that day and the honest truth is that I could tell they were good people as soon as I met them -- they just had a dysfunctional son. At the end of it all, they would end up sending him back to their home country, which was full of poverty and crime, saying that he doesn't understand how much of a privilege it was to be here. He was devastated.

Reflecting on it though, I really adopted some of the traits I despised about him, but learned how to use them with the greatest good of everyone in mind (his victims). Do the ends justify the means? They do for me...
 

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There are two situations that spring to mind, one serious and thankfully resolved, the other remarkably petty and unresolved.

The first involves two of my best friends, a couple. One drunken evening the girl made it clear to me that were she not with him she would be with me. I then told her I was in love with her, having sat on it without saying anything for months. We kissed, rather a lot, and only stopped at that because I said it was unfair for it to go further. Neither of us have told the guy, although we both feel terrible about it and we know full well that it can never happen again. I know she's still in love with him, so I feel it's right to leave it as it is. Not only am I admittedly ashamed and afraid to face the consequences, but I also genuinely believe they will be happy together. Either way, while he doesn't know what happened I know that if he were to find out I'd be the villain. I've since told her that if ever he found out he'd want to kick the crap out of me. I've also said I'd let him.

The other is simpler and sillier. A group of my friends were discussing the girlfriend of one of the members of our group. I've heard every single one of them say they dislike her in the past, but to his face they were saying she was lovely, wonderful, fantastic. When he looked at me expecting the same I simply told him I didn't like her. It was childish, but I really resented the two-faced approach everyone else had. I didn't mean to offend so much as I intended to open the door to some actual sincerity. I certainly don't believe she's a bad person, I actually think she's a very nice person, I just can't personally stand her. Either way, in his eyes I'm a terrible person.
 

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On a half-unrelated note: I hope you mean people watching and not people-watching. When I voted, I interpreted it as the former.
 

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Nothing comes to mind besides the few times I vaguely recall being honest and feeling it necessary to tell someone how their partner, friend or family is behaving more like the Devil incarnate towards them...so far 'friends' either break contact* when the truth emerges, get angry at everyone but themselves or 'make it my fault' for lifting the scales from their eyes.

*For example how I only met a former 'friends' husband once but knew how their marriage was dead and that he was still always going to be a violent drug fuelled football hooligan whom she should end things with for her sanity (I was right on all accounts when he tried to stab her new boyfriend when they truly separated for a month but ended up catching her hand with a carving knife and of course now she has all but ended associations with me and my parents who were there for per during relationship-separation issues, favouring the new man and casting aside those that offered friendship).
 

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A person I knew graduated college and needed a place to stay. I thought she was an all right person so I let her stay with me. I had enough money and had the spare room, so it felt like the right thing to do. I didn't charge rent and I bought her groceries and gave her gas money until she had some income.

She initially offered to help around the house and do some cooking, though it became clear early on that despite the fact that she had NOTHING TO DO all day, she wasn't going to honor even this. My sweetie and I did the lion's share of cooking, dishes, and cleaning.

Once she got a job, all her "help" ceased. She became a complete slob who couldn't get her crap together for long enough to get her laundry or grocery shopping done. She had hours every night to be on the phone with friends, however, and frequently disappeared at night until ungodly hours of the morning or even for days at a time. She seemed to think that, instead of saving money so she could pay me back or so she could move out sooner, payday was the day she could go on some adventure and waste all the money that was burning a hole in her pocket.

I felt like I was being used as a place for her to keep her crap and her toothbrush. I began to seriously question her dedication to actually saving money and getting out of debt. I kept wondering when her massive sense of entitlement and personal awesomeness would result in her coming home and announcing, "I quit my job because they were mean to me."

I finally asked her to find new lodging. I am sure, when she told her friends about this, that she painted me in a terrible light for maximum dramatic and manipulative purposes, despite the fact that I did nothing but help her.
 

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I once got caught for cheating in a card game with some semi-new aquintances of mine (I can't help it, the temptation is irresistable). Most of them just shrugged it off and we had a few laughs, but there was this one guy, the guy who caught me, who seemingly got a bit offended and never really recovered his good impression of me, to the extent that I now can feel how he just sees me as the most cunning manipulator ever in every context, be it one on one or in a bigger group of friends. I bet he suspects me for never being honest at all, definetily making me one of the villains in his daily life. Yes, as this are the reprimands of cheating.
 
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Most people would describe themselves as inherently good people, but whether it be a misunderstanding, tough love, an honest act of assholiness, or a heated moment, you may be seen as quite the opposite to someone else. This can be a difficult label to shake.

Feel free to take a narrative approach, but how are you the villain of someone else's story? Looking forward, did it change anything about the way you do things? Did you discover something about yourself? How are things now & how do you feel about that?

As for my own story,
 
Back in high school there was this kid who was a bit of a class clown and pseudo-bully of sorts. I say pseudo because he was like 4'10 and 85lbs -- he wasn't physically intimidating whatsoever. However, he did have a tendency to harass some of the more timid people to get some laughs by the rest of the class. I've seen him drop a pencil down the back of a girl pants as she leaned forward because he wanted to see if he could get it stuck in her butt crack that was showing. In one instance during gym class, he threw a basketball (hard) straight into a girls face exclaiming she was ugly and deserved it -- he pretended it was an accident and nothing was done.

Now, for whatever reason he took a bit of a liking to me and kept trying to be around me. This doesn't mean I was immune to some of his antics as he would make up things and tell girls I liked them, did dirty things imagining them, told teachers I thought they were gay and so fourth. What's interesting is that he had such a terrible reputation while mine was pristine, but he was surprisingly convincing whereas I was too passive to defend myself -- so they all took what he said as true.

The final straw for me is when he would end up stealing a bus ticket from me worth $75. He swore adamantly that it wasn't him and I fell for it. Later, I would find out from a friend that this guy was bragging about taking it -- I've never turned more vengeful in my life. I made it my mission to get this kid more than just a slap on the wrist which was what he had been getting for some time now.

I reported it to the school and the police would end up getting involved. When I met with his parents in private, I noticed they were still fairly new to the culture here and it was really important for them to fit in. As they both cried while wanting to hear what I had to say, I embellished every story, I made up more (trying to rape a girl), I said that people were after him, he was hated by everyone, I even eluded to them being bad parents. I honestly felt like I ripped out their hearts that day and the honest truth is that I could tell they were good people as soon as I met them -- they just had a dysfunctional son. At the end of it all, they would end up sending him back to their home country, which was full of poverty and crime, saying that he doesn't understand how much of a privilege it was to be here. He was devastated.

Reflecting on it though, I really adopted some of the traits I despised about him, but learned how to use them with the greatest good of everyone in mind (his victims). Do the ends justify the means? They do for me...
i really like that you posed this thought. you are the first human being that has ever shown you think about this too.
 
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