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Discussion Starter #1
Do you get PISSED at this question like I do?! Does that stranger give any care how you REALLY are?! No! So, why say it? Anyways...I hate having to say, "alright." or "okay" all the time (when I am existentially miserable or lonely)...there is some wrong with my brain, but it's dishonest to me...What's wrong with just, "Hello" or even "Hey."? Instead of the effort of "How are you?"?
 

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No I don’t get pissed. That would be an extreme reaction. Yes, most people don’t care and they are asking out of habit. It is annoying, I agree, when someone is not genuine with the question and doesn’t care about the response.
The problem is that people do not care. That is the heart breaking part. On the other hand, everyone is fighting a battle I know nothing about. No one is obligated to care about how I am doing. If they are having a terrible day yet if they are still being habitually polite and asking how am I doing, i ll take that.
 

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No I don’t get pissed. That would be an extreme reaction. Yes, most people don’t care and they are asking out of habit. It is annoying, I agree, when someone is not genuine with the question and doesn’t care about the response.
The problem is that people do not care. That is the heart breaking part. On the other hand, everyone is fighting a battle I know nothing about. No one is obligated to care about how I am doing. If they are having a terrible day yet if they are still being habitually polite and asking how am I doing, i ll take that.
I guess I don't get pissed, but it adds up over time. Just kind of annoying. It's a bad feeling to have someone say, "how are you?' then just keep walking away without a response...I don't understand it.
 

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Do you get PISSED at this question like I do?! Does that stranger give any care how you REALLY are?! No! So, why say it? Anyways...I hate having to say, "alright." or "okay" all the time (when I am existentially miserable or lonely)...there is some wrong with my brain, but it's dishonest to me...What's wrong with just, "Hello" or even "Hey."? Instead of the effort of "How are you?"?
I knew it would be about this :p. ... And yes I agree.. SOMETIMES, this can be really annoying and bad.

Here in Denmark I don't notice many "strangers" asking how you are, there usually is some link somewhere.. if some stranger does ask me how I am then it is felt VERY odd, something we don't want to answer to a stranger.
If anything then it will be the shop keeper saying "How are you today sir", or something. ... "Fine good.. let me buy something".
Most common is that they just say "Have a good day", not asking how you are.

When those closer to me ask how I am, then I don't like it too much either.. I can say a variant of things... that things are directly bad... OR, a bit of both.. OR just fine.. good..

It's very annoying if they keep probing tho when you kinda already settled your mind about something, you know whats up, etc.
If I am feeling bad and depressed, then I might not want to sit and talk about it all the time... Let's move on!, lets play!, lets do something!, anything to keep my mind off all the depressing for a momement.

It reminds me of how you often don't need a friend who feels all sorry for you and feels like he or she needs to take you out... What would feel even greater often is if you can take the person out somewhere. Or if the focus is just on doing some things together.
 

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There's many different levels of 'how are you' and I respond in kind with each level. It doesn't bother me until they start prying for more.

My response is usually

Insert (1) of:

- I'm great
- I'm good
- I'm fine
- I'm okay
- I'm doing alright

then, include:
How are you?

to pin it back on them because in reality they want to discuss how they are more than they are interested in you. ;)

Otherwise, if I know they're actually interested in how I am doing, I let them know more by giving them a status update sentence in the middle of 'i'm x' and 'how are YOU?'.


It could be worse... could be
them: "the weather is _____ outside......"
me: "...................... yes it is."
 

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I don't mind it- I actually enjoy it quite much when somebody greets me

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...I guess I'm weird but I genuinely do what to know how someone is doing when I ask them "how are you" o<--< I don't ask it to random strangers, though. However, I've noticed recent trends in friends/close acquaintances saying that they don't like being asked that, which makes me kinda sad tbh... since how else am I supposed to know how they're doing without asking about it??

Oh right, I'm supposed to check their social media accounts 24/7... :dry: *hates social media*

Sad to see that things that were once seen as friendly/sociable are now seen as being an irritant. I have no idea how to make friends these days. Everything I do annoys people, even when no offense was intended.

Personally, I like friends asking me how I'm doing. They rarely/never ask me, though.
 

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...I guess I'm weird but I genuinely do what to know how someone is doing when I ask them "how are you" o<--< I don't ask it to random strangers, though. However, I've noticed recent trends in friends/close acquaintances saying that they don't like being asked that, which makes me kinda sad tbh... since how else am I supposed to know how they're doing without asking about it??

Oh right, I'm supposed to check their social media accounts 24/7... :dry: *hates social media*

Sad to see that things that were once seen as friendly/sociable are now seen as being an irritant. I have no idea how to make friends these days. Everything I do annoys people, even when no offense was intended.

Personally, I like friends asking me how I'm doing. They rarely/never ask me, though.
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Discussion Starter #11
Sometimes it's nice when people ask again after asking the first time. It could be an indication that they care. Usually that kind of stumps me, but it's quite rare. I am not usually the type of person to ask twice myself unless I know someone well enough.

Another bump is that sometimes people feel like I should be in a happier mood when I simply say "fine" or "okay". It's kind of funny. Usually, I just go along with it, and say, "yeah, I am here." Or I will be a bit sarcastic saying, "My life is great!" with a smile and kind of in a melodic fashion.

I guess I get this "how are you?" often because I am something of a shopkeeper myself. I don't usually deliver it unless it's a regular. Hahah...on the other end, I've asked this at times to someone working, and they kind of deliver a "today has been a bad day" kind of thing. I don't have too much consolation except, "That's too bad..." "Oh, Ok..." So, I can be kind of a hypocrite, but I don't walk away or abruptly ask another question after asking "how are you?" *rationalizes*
 
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