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I strongly believe that in order to have a successful relationship, you have to be completely comfortable exposing your true self to that person. With that said - I don't think it's worth it for INFJ males to try and conceal their "effeminate tendencies" in order to woo ladies, because ultimately, you'll get tired of the facade. There are women out there who are not bothered by these characteristics... in fact, there are women out there who are actually attracted to them. Shocking, I know. (Just kidding - it's really not.) Even if your future lady isn't actively attracted to feely guys, she'll likely accept all those non-traditionally-masculine parts of you without a second thought.

Don't try so hard. Just be yourself - it'll pay off in the end when you end up with someone you're actually compatible with. :)
 

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^I would not recommend following that flow chart. ^ I could see it working better for an STP than for an INFJ tbh.

Edit: If an INF want to appear a little distant, then why not just give yourself permission to be lost in thought like you probably are prone to be anyway? I wouldn't turn my back to the girl, count to four, etc. like it says on that chart. That is way too cardboard and external. People at home in the external, concrete world can pull off that sort of thing because they bring added external nuance to it that can't be put into words on a flow chart. Perhaps for the INF, just seek out a girl who seems shy and overlooked and just be nice to her. Make her feel beautiful and special and you might be surprised by the positive reaction.
 
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Our struggle is this, we show women our "emotional side" and they instantly put us in the safe fuzzy, warm friend zone so we can help them through all of the their problems. To add insult to injury its usually guy problems =/... So then we go about wearing a mask, and women like us but they don't really know us. Naturally what we want more than anything is too be understood and accepted by this women we care for.
So how do we do it??
As others have expressed, playing the slow and steady game of slowly letting them "in" is the safest approach I have found so far.
However guys!!!
We have one thing in our nature that when honed and even slightly abused really helps with women and that is our ability to read people.
We get people and we can, but often don't, use that for a direct advantage and since we are pretty good at knowing whats going on behind the scenes we can really build a lot of moment quickly that gets a women at least somewhat interested. Take that along with knowing what people want to hear, again we are good at the people thing, it's a subtle tactic but it can be quit powerful.
But as expressed it usually ends in us putting on a show that's either too hard to keep up with or we just start feeling pretty guilty about the whole thing altogether. :rolleyes:

Being an INFJ male is like Playing Hide and Seek when everyone else is playing Tag....
 

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interesting reading. Although this is a guy's thread I will answer anyway cause I'm an INFJ. When attracting guys I don't seek to put on a show ever; I just myself be myself. One thing I do do though, is seek to not let down my guard because that's when things go wrong. If I am careless about the way I behave and am focussed on myself, that's when I find things backfire. As a Christian, if I am continually searching my own heart to see where I have failed in what I am doing there will always be the chance to change my behaviour before it is too late. It's when things which have gone wrong gradually build up over time and remain unaddressed that the problems start. If you are always conscious of the other person's needs and concentrate on meeting your own needs without relying heavily upon the other person, and be continually adjusting your thinking and not just assuming that things will continue to go along fine without any effort on your part, I can't see where the problem will lie ... Just a thought.
 

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Now i know we don't fit the stereo type image of a man, myself, i would say i do have what some would call 'female tendencies Such as deep thinking, caring, loving, gentle, affectionate. I do think i portray a sense of conviction with can come across as confidence, and pretty sure of myself, can be assertive, and by no means bad in the bedroom haha. I tend to have this image thou of the INFJ male struggling with getting a girls attraction and keeping it, it worries me that i'm going to be sort of cast out for more confidence alpha males. In a sense, i feel like i'm more of a long term partener, and not a one night stand fun, although i have had plenty of one night stands:rolleyes:
Step over to this corner and you'll do just fine, Mate.

Seriously, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There are women who would be delighted to find a man with these qualities, myself included. (Yes, I'm bold enough to say that.) I'm wondering if, up until this point, you have been either attracted to the wrong women, or you have been looking in the wrong places?
 

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Testosterone does not make people more Agressive, it is rather reversed.

Men with low amount of Testo is more inclined to be more Agressive. :tongue:
Not sure if serious?

Pump women full of test and see how that goes. They would get more horny and aggressive. Look at female bodybuilders who experiment with the stuff.
 
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