We met through an online game, so we haven't met in person yet. He's from Australia, I'm from California. We've known each other for 10 years. For the first 5 years, we video chatted a lot (like 4-6 hours a day, despite the time difference). The last 5 years, we kind of had a falling out because I went to college. We've had our ups and downs and went separate ways since we got busy with our lives.Then what happened?
In my mind, I think we got stuck on the "idea" of how life would be like if we really did meet. He'd always jokingly demand that he wanted me to come to Australia for him. My heart would go with the idea, but my head always knew it was outside of my means since I'm now in grad school.
He knew exactly how to get under my skin. Say the right words, stimulate my emotional and mental needs. We never even touched each other once and I was madly in love with him. I'm not 100% sure if I've done the same to him, but I can only hope. Our communication is so open and on par with each other that we can easily know exactly what the other is thinking or feeling, any ulterior motives with our flirting and it's just simply crazy to be able to read each other so well.
Since we were never physically "together", I didn't think our relationship was serious enough to keep me from dating people. I had a few serious relationships (current one almost 3 years), and my communication with the INFJ during my relationships would be limited. Out of respect for my significant other, really.
My attraction for him would fade when he would force some of his expectations and ideals onto me. He'd criticize what I was doing with my life and that I should just drop everything for him. (I couldn't tell how serious he was with the latter.) But I knew he was upset that I became too busy for him when I went off to college. :/ He asked too much, and I felt like he wanted to mold me into this idea of what he had of me. I rebelled, and he brooded. I felt like I was his precious caged bird who had escaped.
Being an ENFP, I do wonder too what it would be like with the INFJ. I'm actually scared how I'll react emotionally because deep down, the feelings I had for him in the past might be too much (if I was single). I do have a feeling that we were just enamoured by this idea of "us" that we fabricated through our interactions on the internet.
Since I'm taken, there's no chance that I would do anything against my significant other.
We plan on meeting at our friend's wedding in Austria in 2015, so maybe we'll properly have a true friendship.