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So I think I am average person with no special talents or anything like that, but my superego controls me more than I control myself. I'm dreamer to the fault, and even if I'm 22, I still have dreams of a child. I set myself unrealistic goals.
For example, I sometimes try to help too many people at the same time and then I burn myself out because I have a limited energy, just like everyone has. I also set myself unrealistic career goals even if I don't have enough talents to reach them. For example, few months ago I started painting, and my goal was to practice and practice and practice until I become a world-famous painter. I was excited. But after I painted couple of times, I realized my dream was ridiculous and that I can't really paint at all and that I maybe started too late to ever become professional or at least it was unsure (as I started as an adult), and then I became depressed and never painted again. The truth always punches me in the face, and it hurts.

That's why I want to make the dreamer inside me quiet. My dreams are always unrealistic, and I rarely dream about "normal" things other people dream about, even if I probably end up living just an average life, as I am an average person with average talents. I wish my dreams were like "oh I just want a red house from countryside, two kids and a dog". The kind of dreams an average person typically dreams about. But to me it seems actually even a bit of depressing, a normal life doesn't make me excited, it sounds BOOOORING. Of course I want a dog and babies too, but they're not all I dream about. I want to reach something "big".

So what I'm asking is, how can I be more realistic? I wish I didn't get so excited about my ideas, but is it even anything I could actually help? At least it is not just as simple as "just set yourself only realistic goals", many people say that and it's not helpful, because I think dreaming is so big part of who I am that it's not just that simple to stop it..
 

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I suppose it is learning discipline and prioritizing. I have a "box" in my mind. I put those things in there. I usually only take them out when I'm in bed at night, or on the weekends, when I've gotten all my chores done. When I'm busy getting things done that need to be done, the box is closed. You just have to figure out how to do what's in front of you and put that stuff aside until later.

I also keep a small notebook handy in case I have an idea I want to look into/explore later. If writing isn't your thing, I am pretty sure most smartphones have an audio recording option, you can leave yourself an audio file to play back later. The point is to get the idea out and get back to what you need to be doing, not let yourself get bogged down in your fantasies. Daydreaming is not uncommon. You just have to put it aside when you have other things that need to be done.

You may need professional help to accomplish this. Do not be afraid to seek it out.
 

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Honestly you should not ignore your dreams. If you feel you are capable of something then you probably are capable of it if you pursued it to the max. The difference between someone who “sings well” and a “great singer” is about 4 hours a day over 8 years of time. The natural vocal chords you’ve got are only a very small fraction of that puzzle. I think many people know where they COULd be great if they put in that kind of work. For instance, I now have an amazing vocal trainer and I have made amazing progress and I believe I could go professional if I worked that hard on it. But I have no aspirations to be an amazing volleyball player. I guess I could get better if trained, but it’s not like I “understand the game” like I understand and love singing. If you feel you really love and feel like you have an understanding about great paintings then if you kept going you could likely become great. Greatness mostly depends on drive and passion and hours and years of work... and it doesn’t matter if you are an adult. If you find the right teachers and do what I’m saying with the time effort then mastery takes about 8 years into any professional art.

Im saying this because I used to think Olympic athletes were somehow “born fast” or something. Nah... they knew they could get there with hours and hours of training trying to perfect their art.
 

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One thing that helps is writing them down, or at least create a space where you can explore your dreams freely.
I'm a dreamer, myself, and I started to take a lot of the ideas swirling in my head (as I would often play recurring movies in my mind before going to sleep) and write them into fictional stories. I find the more I would write, the more I would find myself being more normal in the day to day life. I even have a schedule for cleaning and a more set routine, something I struggled with more in my younger days.

I think sometimes our dreams are simply our subconscious speaking to us. I find it funny that on a forum based, indirectly, on the ideas of Carl Jung, there's so little talk on the concept of the collective unconscious. Jungian cognitive function theory, like his ideas on the sysygy, are all in some way related to the concept of the collective unconscious. I believe the human subconscious thinks and communicates to our consciousness through symbolic language. I believe what we call the subconsious is really the workings of the limbic system, which regulate memory and emotion. It makes sense, because psychology links dreams to the subconscious, but it's really the limbic system that remains awake. Also, the limbic system isn't where we store much language, hence it doesn't communicate verbally, but through visual imagery, emotion, and rich symbolism. Most people rarely remember the words that are passed in dreams, but will vividly remember the emotions and imagery, or even sometimes music played.

I believe that we live in a society that over praises the results of prefrontal cortex functionality, and dismiss limbic functionality. In short: society views people who can do practical things, with high executive function as having more value than people who are good with imagination, creative things, symbolism, and spirituality. These qualities don't tend to make a lot of money. But there's a lot of things that are way more important than making money when it comes to living a rich full life. I think the problem with modern society is that people lost connection with their archetypical nature in favor of post modern nihilism. Post modern nihilistic content is the ideological equivalent to junk food. It might feel good to watch such amoral content, but it doesn't satisfy. Humans think in symbols and archetypes. Such things make us feel connected with our ancestors. It helps us to feel, for lack of a better term, human.
 

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One thing that helps is writing them down, or at least creates a space where you can explore your dreams freely.
I'm a dreamer, myself, and I started to take a lot of the ideas swirling in my head (as I would often play recurring movies in my mind before going to sleep) and write them into fictional stories. I find the more I would write, the more I would find myself being more normal in the day to day life. I even have a schedule for cleaning and a more set routine, something I struggled with more in my younger days.

I think sometimes our dreams are simply our subconscious speaking to us. I find it funny that on a forum based, indirectly, on the ideas of Carl Jung, there's so little talk on the concept of the collective unconscious. Jungian cognitive function theory, like his ideas on the sysygy, are all in some way related to the concept of the collective unconscious. I believe the human subconscious thinks and communicates to our consciousness through symbolic language. I believe what we call the subconsious is really the workings of the limbic system, which regulate memory and emotion. It makes sense, because psychology links dreams to the subconscious, but it's really the limbic system that remains awake. Also, the limbic system isn't where we store much language, hence it doesn't communicate verbally, but through visual imagery, emotion, and rich symbolism. Most people rarely remember the words that are passed in dreams, but will vividly remember the emotions and imagery, or even sometimes music played.

I believe that we live in a society that over praises the results of prefrontal cortex functionality, and dismiss limbic functionality. In short: society views people who can do practical things, with high executive function as having more value than people who are good with imagination, creative things, symbolism, and spirituality. These qualities don't tend to make a lot of money. But there's a lot of things that are way more important than making money when it comes to living a rich full life. I think the problem with modern society is that people lost connection with their archetypical nature in favor of post modern nihilism. Post modern nihilistic content is the ideological equivalent to junk food. It might feel good to watch such amoral content, but it doesn't satisfy. Humans think in symbols and archetypes. Such things make us feel connected with our ancestors. It helps us to feel, for lack of a better term, human.
I like hearing your perspective.
When @ai.tran.75 created “How do you think?” Threads on each forum a few years ago we found out that Ni doms often don’t think in language but in symbols or “condensed thought blocks”. Just so you know, the rest of us don’t do that and I believe we dont even hear that too much from ENxJs. NPs think in whatever languages they speak and in multiple threads of thought at once for Ne doms and a few less threads for Ne aux and sometimes a few threads for Ne tert. I have heard a few speakers talk about symbolic language and I always realize they are Ni-dom. In my dreams there is a lot of spoken (English and languages I know or have been immersed in ) words and songs that I create in my sleep. There are symbolic “things” like chairs and grapefruits and dogs.

Every once in a while while awake my mind will flip through absolutely original images that are very striking and very artistic and very abstract and it seems a bit out of my conscious control, it is also very rare, but I still do not think it is like the symbolic language experienced by Ni doms. These images don’t convey any meaning and are just interesting aesthetically.

My multiple tracks of thought are pretty much always in English or in languages I know or in languages I’ve been immersed in and they usually help me learn that new language. I will hear phases in that language trying to present themselves to me that I hadn’t learned before. I’ve dreamed about new phrases as well. My tracks of thought are in layers. The back layers can be brought forward to a more conscious place if I just focus on them. They run without me doing anything. Mine often write original music that I wish I could write down, but I haven’t learned to write it down. I do remember tunes that are in my dreams, phrases from my dreams, yes definitely spoken and heard language in my dreams and when awake.. I am not alone (maybe somewhat on the music) this is how NPs experience their brains.

I’m interested to hear what you think of that. I did not know anyone thought differently until we laid out those threads. SPs often have silence in their brains. I could probably only experience silence in my brain with lots and lots of meditation training, probably years of it. But it’s normal for my brain to run 4- 5 programs at once so it is normal for me. I can also consciously give something to my subconscious to work on and it just means that one of my tracks will be working on it in one way or another.

Your thoughts?

I do think the subconscious should be explored more. I think I will go read into what Jung said. I’m not sure if some part of my brain is doing some symbols... but I really do think I experience part of my subconscious as my lower tracks, and like I said I can pull them forward and learn from them things about what my mind has been on recently (like learning a new language) or music (which is always playing in the background, but sometimes bursts out into original songs and operas actually). I think even epiphanies come to me in English. Like things I couldn’t have known... sorry to go on about it, but I actually don’t think that my mind has made up a symbolic language... But that would be cool.. but I can’t think of any time I’ve experienced that. Not in dreams, not in waking.
I think I will make a thread on this.
 
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Your thoughts?

I do think the subconscious should be explored more. I think I will go read into what Jung said. I’m not sure if some part of my brain is doing some symbols... but I really do think I experience part of my subconscious as my lower tracks, and like I said I can pull them forward and learn from them things about what my mind has been on recently (like learning a new language) or music (which is always playing in the background, but sometimes bursts out into original songs and operas actually). I think even epiphanies come to me in English. Like things I couldn’t have known... sorry to go on about it, but I actually don’t think that my mind has made up a symbolic language... But that would be cool.. but I can’t think of any time I’ve experienced that. Not in dreams, not in waking.
I think I will make a thread on this.
I believe the human connection to stories and values is what should be explored more. I know I explained some things in a scientific way, because I believe science is there to help us understand things, but the problem with modern society is that people start thinking that science encompasses the whole of human knowledge, dismissing the search for truths outside its realms. Ideas must have "practical" application, but not every idea of value can be applied in tangible ways.
 
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I believe the human connection to stories and values is what should be explored more. I know I explained some things in a scientific way, because I believe science is there to help us understand things, but the problem with modern society is that people start thinking that science encompasses the whole of human knowledge, dismissing the search for truths outside its realms. Ideas must have "practical" application, but not every idea of value can be applied in tangible ways.
What do you think about what I said about the subconscious being experienced differently by NP and NJ?
 

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What do you think about what I said about the subconscious being experienced differently by NP and NJ?
I'm not sure. I've read a lot about the difference between extroverted and introverted intuition, and the only difference I can discern is that for extroverted intuitives the subject of intuition is usually external, but for introverted intuitives, the subject of intuition is internal, but I really believe there's some overlap.
I don't really know, also how subconscious sensing is supposed to work.
 
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I'm not sure. I've read a lot about the difference between extroverted and introverted intuition, and the only difference I can discern is that for extroverted intuitives the subject of intuition is usually external, but for introverted intuitives, the subject of intuition is internal, but I really believe there's some overlap.
I don't really know, also how subconscious sensing is supposed to work.
I suggest you look at the “How do you think” threads as reference. But when you wrote about symbolic language were you quoting something or were you just explaining your own experience that you thought extended to others?

So there is a big difference between Ne and Ni. Ni people do talk about that symbolic langage and condense information. Dario Nardi explains it, besides it being closer to the subconscious, that it is a meta-analysis and also that when an NJ is in gets new information they go into flow state using their whole brain.

Ne is trans-contextual thinking where new information is processed quickly and randomly for comparisons with all of our other memories and it produces an expansion in thought Instead of a concentration. One thought runs through our tracks and might produce 15 thoughts at once and these run to other thoughts.

I was asking @ai.tran.75 ,my fellow ENFP, last night if she thinks some of the tracks that are further down ARE our subconscious. I told her sometimes there are tracks that are not quite fully accessible to me, but they are running and sometimes the information from them splashed out, it definitely splashed into my dreams but it can also come up when I am awake, producing songs or phrases from other languages that I didn’t consciously know before My subconscious presented them. However none of the condensed or symbolic language.

I also made a new thread to expand on what @ai.tran.75 has made and those threads are more recent and called “How do you experience your own mind.” I think I will also start posting Dario Nardi’s newer thoughts to my old Dario Nardi threads in the NF forum.
 

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Hey Bro!

As an ENFP myself, the thing I find most in our personality is the fact that we bullsh*t ourselves CONSTANTLY!!! What I mean by this is that we always find ways to make excuses, put off a task for a few days, or just downright give up because we're looking at the task ALL WRONG!!!!! The best advice I can give you broski is to look at what the end result of your task will be. For example. say you have a project for school and you're a week out until it's due. You know that you wanna put off that mofo for the next three days and do something else in the meantime but, when taking a moment to look at it big picture, you'll realize the magnitude of what doing the project now rather than later really is. If you still don't understand me, I'll spell out the results for you because I really want to help you be successful. Let's say you do a hell of a job on that hypothetical project and you get it done efficiently. Some of the rewards of that on a short term basis would be that you since it was done efficiently, meaning that you planned it out so that you finish it early, you now can spend the two days before the due date relaxing, goofing off, and chillin'. Another short-term benefit would be that you don't have to stress AT ALL about getting it in, doing a bang-up job since you waited till the last minute, or getting a bad grade since YOU ALREADY DID THE DANG THING SILLY!!!!!! From looking at the roster of famous ENFPs, you can tell that once an ENFP gets past the BS and applies themself, they can go onto obtain anything, AND I MEANY ANYTHING, they desire in life. If you have any other Q's about self-help and escaping BS, feel free to reach out to me because I KNOW that you can accomplish your goals and I'm willing to help you Bro!

-Andy Lamby
 

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You're 22, your 20s are when you're supposed to be figuring out how to "manage" your personality in all its strengths/flaws and glory. Don't worry that your personality requires different management to people around you- you are different, it's ok, but it's also yes necessary to learn to manage this in relation to the world.

Just experiment with different techniques and different scenarios and learn from them. Questions that I had about myself in my early 20s I have now more or less mastered, but then as I move forward with certain answers I find just as many questions then open up that I hadn't even realised were an issue before.

I find that learning self-understanding and aligning is a lot like getting good at archery:
So you start out with an issue where you are wayward and you're getting it wrong, so let's use the metaphor of always skewing arrows to the left of target. What you basically need to do next is correct to the right, sometimes that will cause you to overcorrect to the right. Then you try to correct left again, all of a sudden you find not only that you are skewing a bit to the left but you're shooting too high, and you think "where the hell did that come from", so now you have to adjust multiple things..
Eventually you end up getting tighter and tighter to getting closer to the middle every time, but you have to go through the process of practicing and learning how first.
 
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