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Discussion Starter #1
Hello enfp friends!
So I have a question o:
There's this person that I'm dating and I like her a lot! I think our relationship is going fine, its just that I tend to over think my words and actions around this person. It kinda is a bother because I know if I didn't care so much things could be extra fun! How can I become more comfortable around this person?? Its not super bad shyness but I want to be my spontaneous and goofy self that I usually am!
Have any of you experienced something like this and what did you do to get past it??
Thanks!!
 

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I think time helps. Eventually you will become comfortable around her. I was the same with my girlfriend, and she's INTJ. I was worried id do something stupid (I'm quirky so it was bound to happen either way.) You'll embrace who you are and that builds confidence being a quirky person.
And that's cute, she probably likes the bashfulness. But don't worry I believe in time you'll be comfortable with her.
 

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Invite her out to your turf? Wherever you can honestly and loudly be 100% you.

I thought this was good advice but then I did the same with my guy and I couldn't relax because he was the one being uncomfortable being in a place I'm used to and among my friends, so I started responding carefully.

Honestly, just time really. Patience, young one.

(Also when did heterosexuals become the minority on this forum? I blinked. Okay maybe not even 50/50 but there's a lot of us now. It pleases me though!)
 

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I was so nervous when I first got with my istp partner ( he will never know this....) I can appear cool and relax but inside I was nervous, slightly intimidated and excited all at once. What helped was time and communication. My partner and I connect really well on the phone ( we lived in different city and both have active life ) we talk for about 2-7 hours a night( nightly for the last 12 years ) the conversation became effortless and eventually I feel most whole and comfortable next to him ( I think it was only the first or 2 month that I was extremely nervous and infatuated ).
So yeah communication- quality time
I enjoy playing games ( 20 question, guess who, card games, truth or dare, scrabble , mad lib) I find those activities make me less nervous when trying to break the ice :) but like p.p said - it takes time - what type is your partner

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Hello enfp friends!
So I have a question o:
There's this person that I'm dating and I like her a lot! I think our relationship is going fine, its just that I tend to over think my words and actions around this person. It kinda is a bother because I know if I didn't care so much things could be extra fun! How can I become more comfortable around this person?? Its not super bad shyness but I want to be my spontaneous and goofy self that I usually am!
Have any of you experienced something like this and what did you do to get past it??
Thanks!!
I’m still like this in the beginning stages of a relationship. Personally, if someone doesn’t make me feel slightly nervous and shy in the beginning, I know that they’re more suited for friendship. Just try not to overcompensate! I’m sure she finds you endearing and appreciates that you’re being yourself in slowly warming to her.

If you’re still having trouble after some time has passed, it doesn't hurt to tell her she makes you nervous! In my experience, opening up that communication and finally breaking the ice makes it a hell of a lot easier to come out of my shell.
 

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Sometimes when I'm around someone I like or admire, I'm more nervous than I normally would be. I stutter, I trip up over my own words, and I'm extremely anxious (though not overly). It's the dedication to impress them that makes you stall on your own words.

I've never really known how to deal with this phase, but if you just started dating, then it's normal. When it comes to relationships, it's usually someone I'm close with, so I can dive into it-- because I've already opened up before. If that wasn't the case for you though, it's time to start testing the waters and taking note of what kind of conversations you both have together. Spending time with them also seems to help me open up to someone. It's the feeling that you're both doing something together that makes you feel more connected, in a sense. ☺
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I think time helps. Eventually you will become comfortable around her. I was the same with my girlfriend, and she's INTJ. I was worried id do something stupid (I'm quirky so it was bound to happen either way.) You'll embrace who you are and that builds confidence being a quirky person.
And that's cute, she probably likes the bashfulness. But don't worry I believe in time you'll be comfortable with her.
Yeah I totally feel! My girlfriend is intj too and she's so smart and witty so I don't wanna look stupid in front of her XD in front of anyone else I don't think twice about what I do lol. I think she might feel something similar because I've seen her be extremely goofy and playful around our friends but A lot of the time when its just us 2 she's a little more reserved (though still can be silly just not at crazy/open/careless as I've seen her at times). We started dating like 3 months ago so recently alough we don't talk everyday in person ^ ^ you're probably right about it coming within time. So did you just like Gradually get over that self-consciousness with time? Like your confidence just natuarally just progressed o?:
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Invite her out to your turf? Wherever you can honestly and loudly be 100% you.

I thought this was good advice but then I did the same with my guy and I couldn't relax because he was the one being uncomfortable being in a place I'm used to and among my friends, so I started responding carefully.

Honestly, just time really. Patience, young one.

(Also when did heterosexuals become the minority on this forum? I blinked. Okay maybe not even 50/50 but there's a lot of us now. It pleases me though!)
Yeah I've actually had that same experience lol
ALSO I was so confused bc I didn't realize I included my girlfriends gender so I was like "hUH?!? how do they know I'm gay is that just like something non-straight people can tell from looking at my posts???" XD and then I reread what I wrote and was like "oh" haha :D

Thanks 4 advice!!
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I’m still like this in the beginning stages of a relationship. Personally, if someone doesn’t make me feel slightly nervous and shy in the beginning, I know that they’re more suited for friendship. Just try not to overcompensate! I’m sure she finds you endearing and appreciates that you’re being yourself in slowly warming to her.

If you’re still having trouble after some time has passed, it doesn't hurt to tell her she makes you nervous! In my experience, opening up that communication and finally breaking the ice makes it a hell of a lot easier to come out of my shell.
Yeah I feel the same about the first part. Like I could "date" someone who I'm at ease with but I probably wouldn't really describe that as me liking them romantically. They would just seem better at a friend. Thanks 4 advice!!
 

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Yeah I totally feel! My girlfriend is intj too and she's so smart and witty so I don't wanna look stupid in front of her XD in front of anyone else I don't think twice about what I do lol. I think she might feel something similar because I've seen her be extremely goofy and playful around our friends but A lot of the time when its just us 2 she's a little more reserved (though still can be silly just not at crazy/open/careless as I've seen her at times). We started dating like 3 months ago so recently alough we don't talk everyday in person ^ ^ you're probably right about it coming within time. So did you just like Gradually get over that self-consciousness with time? Like your confidence just natuarally just progressed o?:
I like to think so. Especially if the relationship gets more serious over time. Your walls fall down and all she sees is you. Without being held back and all
 
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