Personality Cafe banner

How can I get an ENFP to have a good first impression of me?

1699 Views 12 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  A_Small_Potatos_Mind
Okay, so I'm an ISTP.

I've been talking to this girl for a while (a long while), and we both know each other through friends, but we haven't met each other yet. I tried typing her myself based on the things she says and what I've been told about her, and I thought she was an ESFP, but I got her to do a personality test in a non-suspicious way, and it turns out she's an ENFP.

Is there anything I can try and do to make her first impression a really good one? I think I would like to get to know her better.. although I'm not too sure.. and she keeps pestering me to meet her.

She says she likes my personality... which is alright I guess.. but I just don't want to come across as too distant and cold, even though I have no idea to do that.. Above all I'm really scared (but I doubt that's got anything to do with MBTI types!).

So, ENFPs, what's the first thing you notice about someone when you meet them for the first time? Especially an ISTP, if you can remember your first impression of one.
See less See more
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
first thing i remember about someone is body language; that instant first impression based off body language sticks with me.

tbh, ENFPs aren't very judgemental- if you have a good heart you're already half way there. just try to act like you already do when communicating with her. the most disappointing thing is when you meet someone you've talked to online or whatever and the dynamic seems different in person. what i think you definitely definitely should do is talk about some of the things that you have chatted with her not-in-person. that will establish a sense that your rapport together in-person is the same as when not-in-person, if that makes sense.
See less See more
That's what I'm worried about, the conversation being awkward.

The thing that annoys me the most is that she seems to go off on tangents quite a lot, and the conversation just ends up being really weird and it doesn't flow at all and I don't feel like putting any effort into it, so I tend to just say that I'm tired and then I can escape the conversation, but I obviously can't do that when we meet.

It's really hard to force body language, but I guess I can try. I tend to be fairly relaxed and just nonchalantly go with the flow most of the time, but I get called distant a lot, so I'm just worried that there wont be a flow to go along with, if you know what I mean?
See less See more
If you feel like the subject matter starts getting tangental, try to guide it! Maybe she's going off on different subjects because she doesn't like silence. I know I tend to do that when conversation gets too quiet.
I think you're psyching yourself out a little bit! If you're interested in pursuing a friendship with her, or even something more, just be yourself! I personally tend to sense insincerity a mile away in person... Just be honest with her. =)
See less See more
Be yourself.
It sounds simple and cliché, but that's really the key. Go along with her crazy ideas, for example a day trip to the zoo or buying balloons. Remember little things that she mentions in conversation.
Be open, but also remember she's quite sensitive.
One of my close friends is an ISTP, and I admire him for being himself and just generally being cool. However sometimes he can make remarks that are a bit cutting without realizing.
See less See more
Oh, I know how sensitive she can be.
Apparently I've already made loads of 'cutting remarks'. I'm completely oblivious to them...

To be honest, I don't really know what I want from her... I would like to be friends at the very least, but I think it's my inferior Fe that sets me back from going further. Then again, she finds it really cute/funny.

Going along with 'crazy ideas' sounds okay I guess. I'm getting a feeling that it's going to drain me so much though.
See less See more
Just don't tell her she looks orange. That is one I won't getting for a while!
You probably fascinate her; my ISTP friend fascinates me so much.
If she gets a bit too much, just buy her ice cream. Believe me, you'll get five minutes to recharge while she's eating it!
Okay; don't mention looking orange and buy ice cream. Got it. Any particular flavour of ice cream?
Hey, Wellf! Alright, I'ma do what I can.

I never typed people before and didn't know anything about types before finding this site. It's always been simple to tell who's an extrovert and who isn't, but that doesn't influence me in any way, but you're doing things a little differently.

She likes your personality? You should be surprised at yourself man! A good chunk of work is out of the way. Don't think about making a good impression. We're not zoo animals... Y-You're gonna finish that banana, right?

Just be honest, speak with confidence, and pay attention to her. Listen and respond to what she says and use that smooth brain of yours to probe what she loves and likes. Don't think about how cold or distant you may come of, alright? Meet up with her and do something simple for your first time out. Make up jokes no matter how bad they are (it's the effort), and don't take things too seriously.

You'll be good if you focus on being as honest and attentive. A good bit of compassion thrown in there won't hurt either. There isn't any pressure. Oh, and guess what? Got a secret she doesn't even know yet. You're awesome, but, you don't have to tell her. Have fun man and I really hope I helped.
See less See more
Thanks for that, helped quite a bit. I'm fairly good at paying attention (as from what i know ENFPs like to do their fair share of talking), I just hope I don't unintentionally say something that will hurt her..

Whilst I'm at it, is there anything that ISTPs - or any type for that matter - unknowingly do that really annoy you?
See less See more
If she asks you what you think about x topic, give her details. Do NOT just say "yeah that's ok". Say what you like or don't and why, give her details and stuff to talk about. We're a curious bunch that like to learn new things. If you have an opinion on something, (that's not a judgement of her own opinion on something), then say it.
Ie - you're at the zoo and she starts going on about how giraffes kind of look like dragons, given the head shape etc. Roll with it, say how you can totally see that, then pick another animal and say you think it looks like some other fantasy creature, or ask her what this other animal looks like to her.
Roll with the crazy tangents and bring them back to topics you can give interesting data on. and encourage the random ideas.
Lol and yes, if all else fails, random ice cream or "hey let's go check that thing out!"
I don't know if this is true for all ENFP's, but I LOVE random fun surprises.
See less See more
You lucky bastard!...If I knew a cute ENFP chick I'd totally fight through a crowded room just to talk to her.

Just tell her exactly how you feel and why. Every detail, even if she has to stare at you and listen for ten minutes straight (she will).

Then fall in love. Problem solved. lucky!
See less See more
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.