[SuperDevastation]

Ok so I have 2 little girl cousins who I've come to really like, especially the younger one. And since my HA is apparently to love, it makes sense I want to show more love to certain people. Anyway I would like suggestions from as many personality types as possible on how to show more affection to them without making myself look like a mushy touchy-feely type person. And I'll choose the suggestion(s) that I believe are best.

 

[MissFixit]

Ok so I have 2 little girl cousins who I've come to really like, especially the younger one. And since my HA is apparently to love, it makes sense I want to show more love to certain people. Anyway I would like suggestions from as many personality types as possible on how to show more affection to them without making myself look like a mushy touchy-feely type person. And I'll choose the suggestion(s) that I believe are best.

how old are they? depends. I'd go with candy. :tongue:

 

[ThoughtProcess]

"Hey, little girl, want some candy?"

I hear that we're "creepy" like that. :crazy:

Seriously though, connect through activities first until you have something to build on. Also, you have to let yourself be at least somewhat free. Kids seem to appreciate any positive attention, so it's hard to lose.

 

[DJArendee]

First of all, you'll have to fight society by showing emotion in public at all. This whole "be a man" shit is retarded. You're an ISTP, you're already manly enough. You'll be even more manly if you have the bravery to do things that people consider "warm."

If you start to feel disgusted with yourself after everyone leaves, that probably means you're doing it right.

 

[SuperDevastation]

Thanks for the suggestions, tbh it's not just because I'm ISTP that I don't show much emotion. It's also because of shyness and my enneagram type 5 making me a detached type of person. And to anyone else who has any suggestions feel free to give them to me.:happy:

 

[Gwenspirit]

I think you should show an interest in whatever they're doing. Kids love personal attention; it shows you care.

If they're not too shy, put the focus on THEM. Ask what they're doing, and what they like. Let them tell you, and add some positive comments in there.

Also get involved in some of their activities. Play a game with them, get into it.

My nicest uncles were the ones who did stuff like this, and they never seemed "unmanly" to me.

 

[SuperDevastation]

Well, the younger one likes certain video games that I also like, and she's also more extroverted than me and seems to like talking to people, especially me and my dad (also her uncle) who leans towards feeler and shows affection more easily than me.

 

[Frannyy]

make them laugh. laughing helps bring people closer and it makes people like you more if you can make them laugh. just be goofy. when I was a little kid I always loved following around my funny cousins/uncles.

 

[sofort99]

"Hey, little girl, want some candy?"

 

[alionsroar]

I tricked my talkative 9 year old step-cousin into thinking I was nice by listening to her ramble on about crap. I think kids just like attention and people following them in their preferred activities.

 

[SuperDevastation]

I tricked my talkative 9 year old step-cousin into thinking I was nice by listening to her ramble on about crap. I think kids just like attention and people following them in their preferred activities.

I don't know if you're saying you don't like kids but jsyk, for reasons I don't even know, people who say they dislike or hate kids make my blood boil.:angry: Maybe it's because I have several family members who are kids that I care about.

 

[ThoughtProcess]

Thanks for the suggestions, tbh it's not just because I'm ISTP that I don't show much emotion. It's also because of shyness and my enneagram type 5 making me a detached type of person. And to anyone else who has any suggestions feel free to give them to me.:happy:

I'm a 5w6 so/sx and kids seem to like me, when I put forth the effort.

 

[alionsroar]

I don't know if you're saying you don't like kids but jsyk, for reasons I don't even know, people who say they dislike or hate kids make my blood boil.:angry: Maybe it's because I have several family members who are kids that I care about.

Nope. I'm not saying anything about my feelings for kids. They're like people some are nice sometimes and some are annoying sometimes.
I was saying that sometimes really talkative people drain me but since I sat there listening to her she told me I was nice even though I wasn't actually doing anything.

 

[SuperDevastation]

Well I agree kids can be annoying sometimes, but I find it much easier to forgive kids for their annoyances than teens or adults since older people are more often annoying out of malice.

 

[alionsroar]

Well I agree kids can be annoying sometimes, but I find it much easier to forgive kids for their annoyances than teens or adults since older people are more often annoying out of malice.

I'm about the same on both, kids because usually they don't know any better and adults since they got their feelings all hurt, I don't think adults would be mean if they happier or smarter.
Anyway back on topic I think kids can be more curiouser so if you show them something new and exciting they like it.

 

[SuperDevastation]

I'm a 5w6 so/sx and kids seem to like me, when I put forth the effort.

I'm a 5w4, though it seems I don't have the envy that comes with enneagram 4. By the way what does so/sx mean?

 

[ThoughtProcess]

I'm a 5w4, though it seems I don't have the envy that comes with enneagram 4. By the way what does so/sx mean?

The so/sx means "Social/Sexual".
Five Stacks - the enneagram ...info from the underground

 

[Apollo Celestio]

First of all, you'll have to fight society by showing emotion in public at all. This whole "be a man" shit is retarded. You're an ISTP, you're already manly enough. You'll be even more manly if you have the bravery to do things that people consider "warm."

If you start to feel disgusted with yourself after everyone leaves, that probably means you're doing it right.

You say this here, but let's be sure to "walk the walk" ok?

As much as we reject it theoretically, it's pretty ingrained into people. A useful tool is to not break people's "walls" too soon, and to not care what others' think.
I admit in my example I've taken care of these kids since their diaper days, but I saw them in a wal-mart and .. well, they got hugs. lol

 

[SuperDevastation]

Ok,so I've gotten some pretty good suggestions on how to show more affection to my 2 cousins, and now I'd like to know how you people show affection to your younger family members, maybe I'll try some of what it is you do. And the reason I want to know this is because apparently I have a thing for family values.

 

[ThoughtProcess]

Uh, I just met my younger brother and sister about two weeks ago. I gotz nuthin. :laughing: