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Discussion Starter #1
my mother is an ESTP and i am an INFP. we do not get along and i know i still love her and i know she still loves me. we just dont know how to show it and it usually ends up with violence. i know that for me, people expressing theyre love to me thru words and gifts work best for me... how can i show my love for my mom???
 

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I think it is very mature of you to ask this question. Good for you for taking the initiative on your relationship with your Mom. My 15 year old daughter is ENFP, her dreamy and laxidasical ways can drive me crazy sometimes. Though she means the world to me.

Unfortunately I am not good at showing my love through words though I've trained myself, especially with my kids. Mainly because words don't mean a thing if you don't show your love.
I am much better at showing my love through my loyalty, service and respect. It's important to me that my kids respect me and don't talk back or disregard my efforts. Gushy hugs, although I love them from my kids, don't mean much if they take an attitude when I ask them to do something. Nice words don't mean much if actions don't back it up.
Also, if someone has hurt my trust....a simple "I'm sorry" may not suffice until they've gained that trust back and show that they are trying. I think if my kids have self respect and respect for others in the family, I feel that I've done right, therefore more loved and happy.

Maybe find something she likes to do and share the experience with her. We like to stay busy.
 

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thank you so much!! im trying really hard to hold my family together and you have helped me a lot:):)
You look very young. It's not a child's job to hold a family together. It's the grown up's job. Is there a reason you are trying to "hold your family together?"
When you say your relationship ends in violence, what does this mean?
I'm a nosy ESTP :wink:
 

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Discussion Starter #5
oh its alright :p well i am young, im only 15 years old, but i have a lot of responsibilities, i lead my family in the direction we need to head, so its just weight on my own shoulders to keep up getting along, actually im not sure if you have read other threads of mine, but i am having major major issues with my family because they were just reported for child abuse finally.
 

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oh its alright :p well i am young, im only 15 years old, but i have a lot of responsibilities, i lead my family in the direction we need to head, so its just weight on my own shoulders to keep up getting along, actually im not sure if you have read other threads of mine, but i am having major major issues with my family because they were just reported for child abuse finally.
Phew, that's severe! Take care!:shocked:

You have my esteem for your strenth. Life shouldn't be like this, you should be able to enjoy your childhood.:frustrating:

Have you told your mom that you love her? I mean not the quick said way.
Try this: maybe you should tell her you really love her with all your heart. But you notice her getting overstrained with the situation and you can't stand it. I'm sure your mom knows what struggle you had and how hard this is for you.

Being abused is never the fault of the abused one!:angry:
For your self-protection please monitor your individual limits and make decisions before it's too late. You seem very mature and protective for your age, as I can read from your posts. So you should also think about makeing this decisions for your siblings, if you have any, too.

Best wishes,
Wolfgang
 

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Discussion Starter #7
i DO have one sister... she and my dad are both ISTJ's. the three of them get along very well, they are like a clique actually! so my sister doesnt even believe me about the abuse, but she hears the verbal abuse.. i think! haha
 

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i DO have one sister... she and my dad are both ISTJ's. the three of them get along very well, they are like a clique actually! so my sister doesnt even believe me about the abuse, but she hears the verbal abuse.. i think! haha
This really sucks!

So your whole family bullies you and you are pushed into the victim role?
 

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Discussion Starter #9
This really sucks!

So your whole family bullies you and you are pushed into the victim role?
yeah i guess that would be one way to say it! :p but here is my point of view on it: i only have to deal with them until i graduate from high school in about 3 years. they have to deal with themselves for the rest of their lives!

i really actually feel sorry for them... the way that helps me out so much, i think of all people as if they were my children, and it helps me naturally stay patient and compassionate and love them anyways.
 

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yeah i guess that would be one way to say it! :p but here is my point of view on it: i only have to deal with them until i graduate from high school in about 3 years. they have to deal with themselves for the rest of their lives!

i really actually feel sorry for them... the way that helps me out so much, i think of all people as if they were my children, and it helps me naturally stay patient and compassionate and love them anyways.
oh darling...):
I'm fifteen too! And though i've had a few problems here and there with my family (they take everything i do too seriously and they take my arguments personally leading to emotional outbursts, but that's my own fault and tactlessness) they could never compare to yours.
But yes, three more years and we're free! I'm probably even going to go overseas to explore, and also give both parties (my family and i) some time away from each other so that we can both make sense of what to do next.
(Sounds like chicklit .__.)
not to say that i don't love them (i love them deeply) but i need to spend time away from them i'm taking some stuff for granted already. and i hate myself for that.
but at the moment i'm still going to fight with them if they print out my texts.
even if they do it because they're afraid i'd get cheated (hah.)
take care k! <3
 
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Discussion Starter #11
oh darling...):
I'm fifteen too! And though i've had a few problems here and there with my family (they take everything i do too seriously and they take my arguments personally leading to emotional outbursts, but that's my own fault and tactlessness) they could never compare to yours.
But yes, three more years and we're free! I'm probably even going to go overseas to explore, and also give both parties (my family and i) some time away from each other so that we can both make sense of what to do next.
(Sounds like chicklit .__.)
not to say that i don't love them (i love them deeply) but i need to spend time away from them i'm taking some stuff for granted already. and i hate myself for that.
but at the moment i'm still going to fight with them if they print out my texts.
even if they do it because they're afraid i'd get cheated (hah.)
take care k! <3
i actually feel really bad for my family because whether they know it or not... they need me in order to funtion! so i do what i can to help them, and i try really hard. but i cant juggle everything.. so much stress and pain at home.. getting straight A's in school, my friends (most important thing to me), my sports, clubs i belong to, i have completely evacuated the love life for now (which is extremely hard for me :shocked: ) then things that i like to do that keep me going like my writing for example...
 

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i actually feel really bad for my family because whether they know it or not... they need me in order to function! so i do what i can to help them, and i try really hard. but i cant juggle everything.. so much stress and pain at home.. getting straight A's in school, my friends (most important thing to me), my sports, clubs i belong to, i have completely evacuated the love life for now (which is extremely hard for me :shocked: ) then things that i like to do that keep me going like my writing for example...
the straight A's part i have half forsaken. I learn for learning, but if you ask me to do work I will just ignore you unless that work is a duty i have to fulfill (like teamwork.)
but you know you can't take care of your family forever! They have to learn, sooner or later, unless you dedicate your entire life to ensuring their survival.
My friends are the most important thing in my life too! I totally understand your stress; my school is the queen of overload. (Our trademarks are eyebags and sleeping in class because we don't get to sleep at home)
Music keeps me alive. It helps me escape.
I don't exactly write, but i write music, and then lose myself in the intricacy and intensity and that's where i find myself again.
 
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