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Hi! ENTP here. I know two ESFJ males, both of whom I've become very close to. The question on my tonge - how can I tell if an ESFJ male likes me aahhh - I'll avoid for the moment (feel free to answer it guys, like, seriously go ahead) while I concentrate on a more important question - how can I take this guy's hand and lead him to being gentler with himself?

He's a very emotional person who is truly excellent at social interactions, but when it comes to his self esteem he's stuck down a ravine somewhere. He's ignored me and been extremely petty for hours / days after I've hurt him accidentally or been callous. Will self love and generosity for himself develop if I continue to try and show him my perspective? Is that something you guys generally struggle with? Being the source of someone's self regard is exhausting. Did you guys experience a turning point sometime and start to be gentler and more generous with yourselves?

Another question, incidentally - he's reaaaally physical with everyone, especially girls. Not sexually, but always looking for cuddles and closeness. Is that normal?
 

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If an ESFJ male likes you, he will go out of his way to chat with you and will compliment you. He will also try to do nice things for you :)

ESFJs tend to have a thin skin, and are sensitive to remarks/comments that others might consider minor, but that we take personally. We especially dislike criticism. If you can, as much as possible, try to be mindful of the ESFJs' feelings, and try to avoid being "callous" or hurting with words.

I personally don't struggle with self-love, but if someone is constantly criticizing me or putting me down, I will avoid that person. Avoiding someone is a defence mechanism for me because I don't want to be mean and scream/yell/get angry, but at the same time I don't want to remain in a situation that makes me feel small.

Yes, I love cuddles and closeness! Maybe it's an ESFJ thing :)
 

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I like to describe Fe as if you have a mirror pointing outward. You can know that you are you, but you can't definitively say what that means without feedback from people. I know who I am and what I do, but I rely on data from those I'm close to to understand if who I am or what I do is good or bad. The key as an Fe dom is being intentional about who you surround yourself with and whose opinion you internalize. It can be detrimental as an Fe dom to allow people into your 'inner circle' who aren't intelligent and good-willed.
 
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