[curious0610]

What are the "give-away" signs that an ISTJ is interested in someone? Whether it's in personal conversation, or just overall actions...?

 

[Darkfiremat]

I cant talk for everybody but if i have an interest in someone i usually dont show it because im not sure of the other person feeling and dont know if im gonna be rejected if i make a move but if im totaly sure you love me i will ask

just remembered 2 thing i do sometime i look at the person more and i try to be with them too

 

[Qadosh]

ISTJs are probably the hardest to tell. I usually make an effort to make sure it is not noticeable.

 

[niss]

Well, it's a bit difficult to do, but if you'll tell them that you are attracted to them and ask them if they are attracted to you, you'll have your answer.

Otherwise, spend a little extra time around them, be warm and friendly so that they feel secure, and in a few days you'll know. If they continue to spend time around you, they like you. If we don't like someone, we tend to limit the time we spend in their presence.

 

[fievre]

What Niss said plus a couple of things. I also tend to do extra things for the object of my interest, on a fairly regular basis, but I won't say anything about it, I'll wait to see if you notice it and how you react. And for me at least, that is something that continues into the relationship (should one develop or even if things remain platonic outwardly). An example of something I'd do is mow the yard for my bf (for whom the task is his least favorite chore) while he's not home.

In my experience a lot of these gestures seem to go right over people's heads, and I can understand why. But that's how a lot of us ISTJs work.

 

[firedancer42]

Definitely in agreement with what others have said. If I postpone something I need to work on to just talk with a guy there is likely something there. The most awkward thing in the world for me is knowing a guy is interested in me who I really have nooo feelings for. Constant worry that I'll have be approached and have to express something that would only the make the conversation more awkward. However last semester I had a developing crush on one of my close friends and talked with another (ENFP) friend about it. His advice was "just tell him and see where it goes." Yeah...that was pretty much an impossibility, unless I saw more concrete evidence that he liked me as well. One reason is the traditional female mentality that it's the guy's job and I should keep my mouth shut until approached, but also because I was terrified of the can of worms I'd open up admitting liking a guy who was already a close friend. When I am attracted to someone it's not some confused "do I like them or not? I just don't know!" business. My problem is being open to dating someone I hadn't previously seen as someone I would date.

With ISTJs you are pretty much going to have to be the person to say something first. At least for me, if I like you I'll admit it when approached. The fear of the unknown possibilities of admitting attraction first is...yeesh.

But all of that aside, I don't have issue with showing subtle clues that I'm interested in someone. As fievre mentioned, I will go out of my way to do all sorts of things for the person, even little things. Spend extra time with them that I could have been getting other things done, helping them out just because, and listening to them rant about their constant fights with their girlfriend...:dry: Okay...being a little too specific with the last part, haha. But anyways, notice if ISTJs are putting in some extra effort with you and working to show they care in ways others may overlook.

 

[Darkfiremat]

there probably not alot of ISTJ + ISTJ couple since we dont show it when we love another person XD

 

[Achi]

ISTJs are probably the hardest to tell. I usually make an effort to make sure it is not noticeable.

Same here. I have a hypothesis though that you could probably force a reaction that would be discerning, with an "unexpected" event. I can't really put my finger on what sort of event it would take though.

 

[marzipan01]

I dated an ISTJ once we got together because I was interested in him and I asked him if he was hungry and wanted to get something to eat. If he says yes, if he talks to you and opens up, if he exchanges numbers with you he probably likes you at least enough to be intrigued. It's been my experience that introverts have a way of wanting to get away from people and saying No they are indifferent to as a general rule. The easiest way is to ask him to do something casual where you can talk or come up with some excuse to do something alone together (in a public place of course--safety first!). That way if he says No you don't have to be offended because you were just testing the waters anyway.

 

[skygghet]

The easiest way is to ask him to do something casual where you can talk or come up with some excuse to do something alone together (in a public place of course--safety first!). That way if he says No you don't have to be offended because you were just testing the waters anyway.

Good suggestion! Make sure it's not too crowded though **shivers**

 

[Caius20]

Hmm... Ways I would show I am attracted? Well, A big indication is if I see you walking by, do I smile, and stop to talk? Being introverted by nature, I don't really like to stop what I am doing to talk. But, if I am attracted to a young female, and I see her walking by, I am going to stop whatever I am doing to talk to her. It's that inner magnet. It overcomes all barriers. haha. I am unsure what else, because my female friends tell me that I am very unclear to those females that I am pursuing. Why? Apparently I go and act almost exactly the same towards my group of friends. It's subtle.

Hope that helps? Ask more questions!

 

[firedancer42]

Hmm... Ways I would show I am attracted? Well, A big indication is if I see you walking by, do I smile, and stop to talk? Being introverted by nature, I don't really like to stop what I am doing to talk. But, if I am attracted to a young female, and I see her walking by, I am going to stop whatever I am doing to talk to her. It's that inner magnet. It overcomes all barriers. haha. I am unsure what else, because my female friends tell me that I am very unclear to those females that I am pursuing. Why? Apparently I go and act almost exactly the same towards my group of friends. It's subtle

My friends tell me the same thing about the way I act around guys I like. No matter how subtle I always feel like the whole world knows when I'm attracted to someone, but they tell me I never give off a "vibe" (coming from an N, lol) that I'm actually looking to date someone. I have plenty of guy friends and I guess my comfort with them ends up seeming the same as subtle flirting with someone I truly like. And as far as telling if a guy is into me I'm usually clueless. Unfortunately, the only exception to that is that a few guys who have liked me but I definitely only wanted to be friends with were so obvious it was creepy.

 

[Skitzabeth]

My boyfriend is an ISTJ. Basically, if he bothers spending any time with someone, he enjoys them. The more time he spends with someone, the more he likes them. It was hard for me to figure out at first how he really felt about me, until I realized that the very fact that he would spend any sort of extended time with me in person or on the phone meant that he was pretty into me.

 

[Darkfiremat]

@Skitzabeth WOW he even used the phone to talk with you he pretty hardcore XD

 

[Obstructions]

Pretty much, if an ISTJ is interested in you, he/she'll try to make plans for the both of you on her/his own accord, not by somebody else.

 

[Cartman]

Dead give away for me is becoming quieter and more fidgety around the person. I also like to laugh at the person's jokes, smile a lot and make lots of eye contact.

 

[Sea Sew]

If I like someone I'll remember almost everything they say to me, so when we talk at some other time I'll ask how such-and-such went in order to let them know I care enough to remember. If they're sitting beside me and touching off the side of my body, I'll stay where I am instead of discreetly moving away. But maybe that last part's just me?

I totally agree with everything everyone else has said so far.

 

[sriracha]

Pretty much, if an ISTJ is interested in you, he/she'll try to make plans for the both of you on her/his own accord, not by somebody else.

Yeah. It'll come naturally. I'll want to be around that person more, hang out more, talk more, spend more time, etc.

 

[CallSignOWL]

I tend to get nervous around the person I like. Before I got to liking the one fella, it was sorta easy for me to start a conversation (sorta because Im shy anyway...) and besides that, the minor social anxiety wasn't too bad. But now when I talk to him I get all fidgety inside and feel super self conscious. I feel like I turn into a stuttering nincompoop sometimes.

If I like someone, I want to learn more about them. What they like, favorite music, special hobbies, their birthdays, shoe size, favorite color, height.....basically I want to research them and learn who they are. Facebook comes in very handy for these covert operations.

I'll also try to spend as much time with/near you as I can without it being obvious. I'll go out of my way to catch you as you leave so we can walk together and I can attempt conversation. I cant just come out and say "hey I like you. Lets get coffee" because Im too afraid of rejection and don't want to make things awkward.

 

[Priority Zero]

Back when I was arrogant, I would probably not be arrogant to the woman in question, where I would falash it to everyone else. So I would say, if an ISTJ acts different with you than everyone else, and not in a bad way, he probably is into you.

I do not know how I respond to women of interest outside of my arrogance, the situation hasn't arisen. I have been described as a robot as of late - in regards to holding my silence.