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Lately, I've really been thinking about the emotional side of me. I read the thread titled "Desire to feel" and I know that feeling. I've really desired to feel. Not feeling was okay for a while, but it's starting to become an obstacle. It's preventing me from truly connecting with the people I love, speaking emotional "language" in emotional situations, and dealing with negative thoughts and feelings of the past. I realized this after some recent events including me having the first nervous breakdown I've ever had in my life. After starting to get in touch with my emotions a bit, it's been a bit of a mysterious and uncomfortable place. Before, it seems like I "thought" myself into an emotion based on what the situation called for. But now, I literally feel physical sensations that I've never felt before. I'm crying when things are sad without forcing myself to do it. I'm truly joyful when good things happen. However, these have been making me quite uncomfortable sometimes. It's like I'm afraid to feel. I don't want to fall into the trap of stuffing my recently discovered emotions, but at the same time, I don't want to lose control of myself. Do any of you have suggestions for dealing with this? Have you ever been in a situation like this before? Let me know if this post doesn't make sense.
 

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Embrace them feelz and trust your Ti for the decisions. Getting lost in emotions isn't a bad thing by itself. Always acting from such state can lead to disastrous results but the natural inclination of INTPs to think everything through prevents that for the most part.
 

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Sharp Cutting Thing
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Embrace them feelz and trust your Ti for the decisions. Getting lost in emotions isn't a bad thing by itself. Always acting from such state can lead to disastrous results but the natural inclination of INTPs to think everything through prevents that for the most part.
This is the sagest advice but among the most difficult. Remember, emotions are ... hormonal. They are released from the amygdala, and literally flood your system. By contrast, your thinking self is centered in the gray matter somewhere. Neuroscientists know better than me where.

That's the hard part about them feelz. Your Ti is actually kind of like an iron self-control. Once you release it, you're going to have to accept that -- for a while -- you become a slave to whatever hormones your amygdala feels like pumping out today. It's only after you start to flush that out of your system that your Ti will actually be able to regain control.

So think of it like getting high. You'll need some time -- almost certainly in private -- because you are quite literally getting high on your own drugs.

@Zamyatin There's your answer.
 

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This is the sagest advice but among the most difficult. Remember, emotions are ... hormonal. They are released from the amygdala, and literally flood your system. By contrast, your thinking self is centered in the gray matter somewhere. Neuroscientists know better than me where.

That's the hard part about them feelz. Your Ti is actually kind of like an iron self-control. Once you release it, you're going to have to accept that -- for a while -- you become a slave to whatever hormones your amygdala feels like pumping out today. It's only after you start to flush that out of your system that your Ti will actually be able to regain control.

So think of it like getting high. You'll need some time -- almost certainly in private -- because you are quite literally getting high on your own drugs.

@Zamyatin There's your answer.
Yeah, but the thing that I have learned over the years lead me to a little bit different process. I have done a fair amount of "stupid" (don't really regret anything) shit because I had no control of my emotions. Right now my Ti has kinda adapted to take control when it comes to important decisions. I guess that is life experience and whatnot. Idk the past years I have changed quite a lot mentally and right now I feel my brain working in harmony as it should be. There is no distress whatsoever from emotions. They only make me better.

Just as you pointed out about getting high. Again from my experience you build some kind of tolerance and after a while you are accustomed to the change of state allowing you to operate better. I guess I mean something like that with the embracing shit and the Ti taking control when necessary.
 

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No, you didn't answer my question, you simply restated Autumn V's fear of losing control.

Why do you fear "losing control"?
Isn't that kind of self-explanatory?
Because when you lose control... you don't have any control. You can't predict outcomes and thus can't take the proper steps to prevent embarrassment, failure or even danger.

Control freaks are often perfectionists defending themselves against their own inner vulnerabilities in the belief that if they are not in total control they risk exposing themselves once more to childhood angst.
 

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Sharp Cutting Thing
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Yeah, but the thing that I have learned over the years lead me to a little bit different process. I have done a fair amount of "stupid" (don't really regret anything) shit because I had no control of my emotions. Right now my Ti has kinda adapted to take control when it comes to important decisions. I guess that is life experience and whatnot. Idk the past years I have changed quite a lot mentally and right now I feel my brain working in harmony as it should be. There is no distress whatsoever from emotions. They only make me better.

Just as you pointed out about getting high. Again from my experience you build some kind of tolerance and after a while you are accustomed to the change of state allowing you to operate better. I guess I mean something like that with the embracing shit and the Ti taking control when necessary.
You know, that's an excellent point. I bet that more emotional types develop their emotions earlier, so that by the time they're adults they've gotten to the point where they have a reasonable tolerance for their hormones. But because we develop ours relatively late, our thinking brains evolved to deal with hormonal states that are much lower than when we're in "emotional" states. That's why emotions (hormones) are especially like drugs to us. They are drugs.

@Zamyatin Do me a favor and take a few tabs of Oxy (or something else highly illicit).

Now -- when you were stoned -- did you feel in control of yourself? Did you feel like you were able to function in a day-to-day way? No?

Now think about if your mind somehow had the means to get itself stoned but you had no volition over it. What if, in those states, not only did you cease to function normally but often times made some very bad decisions you came to regret later? Wouldn't you be worried about your mental control? Wouldn't you be scared of those states? Wouldn't you equate emotions with a big bad other that had to be kept under lock and key?
 

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I used to be afraid of expressing myself emotionally, but I always had strong emotions and managed to keep them a secret until I was in private. There, I could cry all I wanted, laugh all I wanted, and not feel embarrassed for anything. Sometimes that privacy allows you to let yourself become undone for awhile without the risk of negative consequences. Remain in that privacy long enough for you to settle down, which usually happens when your mind moves onto another thought. Day after day, wash, rinse, repeat. Eventually, you get used to the drug. While you may never become accustomed to the feeling (for example, I will always feel silly if I have butterflies in my stomach from a crush), you will at least have better control over it and learn how to calm yourself down.

One thing I discovered about myself is that I have very, very strong internal emotions. And maybe all INTPs are that way - it's as if we got a greater portion of humanity than everyone else - the brains, the bron..er.. scratch that last one... - at least internally. Learning to harness it all, you can become a talented, confident public speaker (as I'm aiming for), a passionate romantic, and a brilliant scientist.
To get control of your emotions, you have to admit you have them and you have to learn to embrace them. The latter, as I said, can be done in private. I found that embracing that internal child makes me feel rather giddy but still comfortable with myself. I have so much internal joy, I can bring a smile to my face just by thinking about it and letting it bring itself to the surface of my being. :D Ah... it feels wonderful. I love being human. X) *longing sigh*

Granted, letting out anger and such... mm, not what I had in mind. Keep those in your head and turn your mind onto something else. Use cuss words like, "Rubber DUCKY!" and "Banana PEEL!" It gets you to laugh and loosen up. Then you can reflect on things later in a positive light, because life is never as bad as it seems, except when it is.


And no, I don't think your mind loses total control over itself in emotions, despite them being very influential chemicals, unless you aren't accustomed to them. Practice helps you improve. Bottling it up only turns it into a volcano, so that when it does come out, it is very hard to control and re-contain.

Also, TALK TO PEOPLE. If you have an issue with someone, anger or love, sometimes it helps just talking with them. As INTPs, we get all this anxiety over just exposing our thoughts. If you actually just had a peaceful conversation with someone, you would discover how much it was nothing as radical as your dreams, but rather a possibly boring, but resolving conversation. Okay, so the girl doesn't like you. Big deal. Move on in life, there will be more people. She's not likely to tell everyone around you two about it, and if she did, they wouldn't give a flip. So you're angry with someone. You talk, and instead of it turning into a nuclear war with ninjas and armies of an unknown number of warriors on both sides, the other guy simply storms out of the room upset or shakes your hand and agrees to disagree. Woopdee fricken doo. So much for all the anxiety caused by "deep" emotions.


I must admit, whenever I do start feeling emotional, it usually turns into a self analysis, and I start thinking casually, "Oh look, my body is experiencing a powerful psychological stimuli. I should dissect it." Needless to say, I can easily kill the enjoyment of a lot of good songs that way. With control over my emotions, I can also go back to enjoying the song. It feels rather weird and yet is also interesting - enjoying the song and yet seeing it objectively as nothing more than sound waves triggering stimuli and asking myself what I enjoy about them.
 
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