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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hi, I know this question's been asked a bunch of times already but I still wanna give it a try based on the situation I'm in. I met this guy on a dating app, the first couple of weeks I noticed the amount of questions (some of which are strange and too personal) he's been asking me which I found weird at first til i found out eventually that's he's an ENTP-A. He started flirting with me and calling me ~babe~ and all so I figured it was his way of taking control of the situation, so I just ride along with it til now, especially when he's teasing me or poking fun at me and all. He rarely opens up, and he knows more about me than I know about him but I try to be more understanding in that area cause i know it's not easy for them to open up and talk about feelings in general, but there are times where he drops subtle hints about what's he's going through especially when's stressed about work or family.

Our first date was interesting if not too awkward, he acted all cool and not too engaged the way he sat but he kept asking questions about myself still and was looking intently, I tried to keep up with him and made him laugh a bunch of times especially cause i'm really awkward irl which he finds cute I guess. After that meeting, we kept in contact but i noticed he started to withdraw, unlike the first few weeks that we've talked he usually messages in the middle of the day and at night but now he seems to just talk to me when he gets home from work. He says goodnight and then when I reply that's the time he starts the conversation...which I find odd cause I don't know if he's passing the time or not. I try not to be to clingy, so I just let him initiate most of the conversations in case he values his space that much but I do try to strike up a conversation from time to time so he wouldn't think that I wasn't interested.

What bothered me is that he hasn't really formally asked me to go out on a second date or even hang out with him again but instead, he tries to find a way to get to me to ask him to meet with him. For an instance, I told him I was in this area during lunch (near the place where he worked) to get something from a friend and told me that I should've told him that I was going there.....another time would be is that I was going through something and he noticed that even if i tried not to show it, and then he told me that If I wanted to talk, I could just go to that area near his office and said he'll be there.

My office is roughly a 20-25 minute walk away from where he worked, so eventually I did ask him to have lunch with me on his birthday last week and he seems to appreciate the fact i bought him a slice of cake. lol. Even if he said i shouldn't have bothered buying him a gift, he kept thanking me after and was being all cutesy and shit. But anyway, we had a good laugh, and had a really good time (at least that's how i see it) we just talked about the most random things, he was also trying to get me to tell him why I sad and all, after some time I noticed he was getting touchy and playful, he just poked my belly for no reason (wtf), and then started touching my knees, he was asking and was trying figure out the areas where I'm ticklish, and I knew he was watching how I'd react whenever he does these things. So the whole thing got me more confused.

His inconsistency in terms of initiating conversations and sudden withdrawal bothers me, i try not to demand for his attention. Especially cause I'm naturally the type who always want to talk to person I'm interested in. So thereeeee....he's really mysterious and it's quite impossible to read him and his intentions, I know I'm probably not the only woman he's flirting with given that he's still on that dating app so I don't know what to think. But at the very least, I'm glad he still messages me most days even if it's only in the evening and tries to have a conversation with me.

Let me know your thoughts!
 

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Well, the way I see it, he seems to like you but would like to get more initiatives from you.
I think it's that simple :p

The there-not there thing ? Let him have his space ; we're like sine wave, one moment we're there, the other we're not, and then we come back, it's just this way. It's good that you're not trying to "smother" him, I think that'd make him just escape more.

If he's getting touchful I guess it means he's interested. At least when I am it means I am interested.


And if you want to know more about him, just ask directly !
 

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He's still talking to you. He likes you. Best way know what an ENTP is thinking is to ask them directly. You won't want to hear this, but a common trait that makes an ENTP is keeping options open. Full commitment, which most girls want, closes other options, and can seem unnatural to us. If you're ok with that, let him know you aren't looking to tie him down, but would like to spend more time together.
 

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"Dating app". Well well well, I wonder what the OP is talking about here.
 

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Haldir is right.

We don't normally feed people lip service if we
don't have a vested interest to some degree.

I like these threads that people post about approaching ENTP and what we mean.

We always give the same advice.

"Be direct" ,,,, why does no one ever listen to
us when we say this!?!??!?!?!?!?!?

Its not a trick question, we are not being sarcastic.
Just be direct for the love of god people !!!!

Stop projecting your feelings onto what we should think!
We don't think that way...serious.

Anyhow, forgive the rant. Not directed at you OP.
Unless you are not being direct as we mention.
 

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Haldir is right.

We don't normally feed people lip service if we
don't have a vested interest to some degree.

I like these threads that people post about approaching ENTP and what we mean.

We always give the same advice.

"Be direct" ,,,, why does no one ever listen to
us when we say this!?!??!?!?!?!?!?

Its not a trick question, we are not being sarcastic.
Just be direct for the love of god people !!!!

Stop projecting your feelings onto what we should think!
We don't think that way...serious.

Anyhow, forgive the rant. Not directed at you OP.
Unless you are not being direct as we mention.

It's pretty obvious that there's a tad of frustration there. Accumulation of it or a specific instance? For me it's an accumulation.

i kind of want to scream at the world that I'm not bullshitting 99% of the time.
 

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The first sign is that we usually give people with like noogies and call them stupidheads. But when someone passes you a note from us in class that says "do u like me?" with crudely drawn checkboxes next to the options: yes, no, maybe, then we're DEFINITELY into you.
 

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It's pretty obvious that there's a tad of frustration there. Accumulation of it or a specific instance? For me it's an accumulation.

i kind of want to scream at the world that I'm not bullshitting 99% of the time.
I honestly do like helping people who ask to be sure!
No sarcasm nothing. I just wanna help when I can.

It is the futility that frustrates me so.
Futility in getting certain types to just believe that
we know what we want. It is as if they think we are telling
them to go for it just because we don't want to take time for
a more articulate answer.

When indeed the answer is that simple.

I also find that most wont believe me when I say; even if an ENTP
does turn someone down it does not make them look silly to the ENTP
or anything to that ilk.

It, in my case anyhow, makes me think they are just being honest and I
will in turn do the same. I may even and quite often do respect that person more.

I mean, even if we are not on board with their idea we still like the fact that someone
would be into us. A compliment is a compliment. It feels good no matter what our answer
is/was.

I would like to be more surprised that people don't believe us
on this topic most of the time. But I shouldn't be.
Seems to be the tale of the tape.
 

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But when someone passes you a note from us in class that says "do u like me?" with crudely drawn checkboxes next to the options: yes, no, maybe, then we're DEFINITELY into you.
Hehehe

Did I miss that in the OP... cause if I did that was fucking BOSS.
And totally a working strategy.


I am going to start communicating with my Wife like that.

Make dinner or go out? (circle only one please)
YES
NO

She would look at that question for a good 20min trying to sort it out.
throw her hands up just say fuck it and she will make dinner.

Win win really.

Ahh I love my ESFJ.

The key to getting her to do anything : "Well baby if you CARED about the family........."
Instant happenings after that line.
 

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Hehehe

Did I miss that in the OP... cause if I did that was fucking BOSS.
And totally a working strategy.
I wish.

OP, edit the post to ammend the new reality we've come up with here.

I am going to start communicating with my Wife like that.

Make dinner or go out? (circle only one please)
YES
NO

She would look at that question for a good 20min trying to sort it out.
throw her hands up just say fuck it and she will make dinner.

Win win really.

Ahh I love my ESFJ.

The key to getting her to do anything : "Well baby if you CARED about the family........."
Instant happenings after that line.
Aww, I want my own little Fe-dom to guilt into doing things. <3
 

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for what I know:

1) testing you.
In every way possible. They will ask you about your interests, opinions, thoughts, before having expressed theirs. It could seem general interest, but it is a test to see if you can be a possibility. It is an exam you don't know you are taking.



2) challenging you.
Either in games or discussions. Often they will take the opposite part in a discussion even if it is the contrary of what they think, just to see if you are able to make your points and discuss them logically. And to see how willing you are to discuss and go deep in subjects



3) dragging you into their interests.
They will share their interests with you. And they will try to make you partecipate with them.



4) on the other side: trying to understand your interests.
They are always open and ready to know something new, especially if they like you. They will spontanuesly read that book they saw in your hands or get informed about that interest you were talking about.




5) sharing their theories, ideas, opinons and fireworking mind with you.
For what I know, this is very important. Athough they are always ready for a good discussion, they are not so wlling to share their deepest idea with they world. If they do that with you, you are one of the lucky ones.



6) searching for your company for more than a week.
It is quite common that an ENTP find somebody so interesting to search for them constantly for a limitated amount of time. If you break the wall of their attention span, you are probably something more for them.



7) sharing emotions or feelings (or at least trying to).
I think that this is one of the most difficult things for ENPT. They can joke, kid and be silly about everything, also about their emotions. But when they actually share some of them with somebody, without defense mechanisms, it is a very big efforts from them. They will do it only if you are the worth of it.
Just be careful. They are very good in mimic emotions they don't have, especially in being flirtous. It is a defence mechanism too. I am talking about real emotions.
You don't have take their flirting habits as a sign of interest.
Flirting : ENTP = Breathings : the rest of the world



8) being brutally honest with you
it can seem like something hard to understand for feelers, but ENTPs are honest and direct. They will tell you if they like you, after having studied you enough. They will be always brutally honest about it. They could also say stuff like "I know that I can find someone else like you if I search enough, but I am in love with you".

If you have the suspect that an ENTP likes you and you want to be sure about that, there is a very simple way to know. Ask them. They will answer clearly.
You could not like the answer, but it will be probably honest.



9) Listening to you
I mean, it is not that simple for them to just listen and focus just on you. Their span attentions is worst than us INTPs



I forgot this one:

10) keeping making fun of you and of your naivety.
It is not them being evil, is just that they seem to love the naive and innocent part of you and they feel all happy when you show it. So they can even manipulate the conversation to push you in showing it, just to whatch at you like this:

 

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My ENTP male friend was ready to chancel his birthday weekend plans just for me.
I'm pretty sure he likes me :tongue:
 

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What bothered me is that he hasn't really formally asked me to go out on a second date or even hang out with him again but instead, he tries to find a way to get to me to ask him to meet with him.
Maybe he's broke. Sometimes you can't tell by looking.

And not asking you to just "hang out" doesn't really disprove that he's broke. Because doing that would make him look broke, and maybe he doesn't want to look broke.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.
 

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Your post is great @lunagattina ! Thank you :) I have a good male ENTP friend so that smile in the last pic looks really familiar. Sometimes I could swear that saying something terrible and watching me trying not to lose it/lecture him is one of his favorite hobbies. His "What do you think about me?" and "Ask me something about myself!" comments have made me think that he might see me as something else than just a friend. I have seen him going throw all those steps from 1. to 10. with me. It is a little bit sad that we have so different plans for future since we get along so amazingly well and can talk for hours. He is easily one of the greatest guy I have ever met and the first person I wanna call when I have a new idea.
 
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