How can you tell if an INTJ is over you?

8121 Views 9 Replies 9 Participants Last post by Shazzette, May 26, 2012

iemanja

Discussion Starter · May 24, 2012

Just in general?
And perhaps with online interactions (facebook for example) too

For a specific scenario, I liked an INTJ then he liked me back but due to unfortunate circumstances it didn't work out, but we still liked each other for a long time afterwards (despite it not working out due to circumstances, we got a long very, very, very well). Recently I tried blocking him out because despite my feelings, I think that it really won't work out. Now we don't see each other IRL much but I'm hypersensitive to actions (being the ENFP that I am) I've noticed that his online interactions with me have spiked (although it is really subtle; the PerC equivalents of his online interactions with me would be him giving me loads of 'thanks' all the time) and this never really happened when we used to talk IRL and on chat like we did before (nowadays we don't because I'm trying to block him out).
Is he trying to get my attention again, or am I just being hypersensitive and is he actually over me?
INTJs can be so hard to read...

Oh and if he has a PerC account and/or is reading this I am doomed for sure. Oh well! :laughing:

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SocioApathetic

· #2 · May 24, 2012

When I am "over" someone, I am able to move on rather easily. I still think about that person sometimes but if I am truly over things, I simply carry on. If I want to get someone's attention, (once again, personally) I will try to talk to them. I don't like being too forthright if it's someone I am particularly interested in. Subtlety is essential in these cases. If I don't care to re-establish feelings or anything intimate, I outwardly greet them and do not hesitate to speak to them.

And for the record, ENFPs? Hard to read due to recurrent fluctuations in mood. =P

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iemanja

Discussion Starter · #3 · May 24, 2012

SocioApathetic said:
And for the record, ENFPs? Hard to read due to recurrent fluctuations in mood. =P

Guilty as charged.

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Einsteinette

· #4 · May 24, 2012

SocioApathetic said:
When I am "over" someone, I am able to move on rather easily. I still think about that person sometimes but if I am truly over things, I simply carry on. If I want to get someone's attention, (once again, personally) I will try to talk to them. I don't like being too forthright if it's someone I am particularly interested in. Subtlety is essential in these cases. If I don't care to re-establish feelings or anything intimate, I outwardly greet them and do not hesitate to speak to them.

that's exactly what i was going to say , It's not that i don't meet people I like,but when I do (which is quite rare) I apply a somewhat scientific method to see if we have a chance, if not i just move on. The fact that even if i like someone it's hard for them to know it, give my enough time to know the person and evaluate my chances, I'm not going to make a fool of my self unless I see that the other person is interested or at least worth it. On the other hand , Guys tend to see me as a bro so what starts as a quiet crush (at least from my part) usually ends as a friendship .
In general I think INTJs are the best people in moving on , they're logical and they don't hold a grudge...

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MelissaC

· #5 · May 24, 2012

If I'm over somebody, interaction is rare. I don't make any effort to communicate with them. For me cutting ties is exactly that: I am no longer connected to them in any way. Ideally at least. It sounds like you guys are friends. I'm not sure why it's complicated to you, to be honest, but that just what I can gather from what you said.

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Alysaria

· #6 · May 24, 2012

The biggest thing I think is that INTJs don't connect easily to very many people....and intimacy is even rarer. So it's not an easy thing to get rid of. >.> Maybe you should talk to him if you think there needs to be some "recovery space." It's not really fair to back out without really saying anything, and he may wonder if he did something to offend you and didn't realize it.

Be honest with him. If you don't think things have a chance of working, tell him your thought process so he isn't just a victim of a WTF ENFP emotional withdrawal. That kind of crap sticks with people and might make him less likely to trust another girl in the future...and especially being an INTJ, if he feels like he's being made a fool of or mocked somehow it is going to leave scars.

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Perhaps

· #7 · May 24, 2012

We have a thread for these sorts of questions.

http://personalitycafe.com/intj-forum-scientists/63335-relationship-questions-intjs.html

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Tess

· #8 · May 24, 2012

Im not an INTJ guy but i think that if he was not interested, he wouldnt really keep up any interaction... that being said maybe you just have been saying interesting things... we cant resist something that interests us

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Master Mind

· #9 · May 25, 2012

Einsteinette said:
In general I think INTJs are the best people in moving on

This is certainly the case with myself. I've never had any problem leaving the past in the past and getting on with my life. I've never (and don't) relate to people who can't get over someone. Life is too short to waste time in such a manner. And as people have discovered, one I've moved on, that's a chapter of my life that is closed, and the door is closed forever. I don't look back.

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Shazzette

· #10 · May 26, 2012

INTJs just move on. We don't want to waste your time, give false impressions or prolong a relationship that isn't going to work. We wish you well and hope that you'll find happiness with another.

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