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Hey, guys.

I have an INTJ 5w6 friend at my high school. We have both expressed great distaste for the experience. My views mostly align with hers, although I feel more agitated with peers, but I can get by well enough.

She is another situation entirely. School sucks the life out of her. She grows apathetic towards work because it feels meaningless, and she doesnt respect the school because of its narrow minded view of education and the two faced nature of its religious agenda. (It is a Catholic private high school)

She is getting depressed by this era of her life; I want to ask you all how you found high school to be. Did anyone else feel this crushing refutation of their core ideals and desires? How did you cope? Any and all advice and anecdotes are helpful. It sucks to see amazing people suffer like this.
 

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Found high school very easy.

I think asking INTJs this is rather useless because I think this will be hugely enneagram-related.

I'm a type 3, so I find most things rather easy.

I could see why a type 5 INTJ would struggle with school (finding it difficult to care about). Especially a type 7 (if such an INTJ exists). And a type 2 (if such an INTJ exists lol!)


I went to public school, though. It was very religious, I thought, but it wasn't private school, so maybe it was a lot easier than what your friend is experiencing. Due to No Child Left Behind policies, we kind of had to dumb ourselves down to allow people to catch up. And that really hinders the highest achievers quite a lot, making school rather time-wasting and easy, imo.

I would hope private schools wouldn't have to deal with that, but I never attended one, so I wouldn't know.
 

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I went to a private boarding school for girls. Yes of course I hated high school nearly everyone does. I coped by spending all my spare time in the library and watching movies. I passed my exams and GTFO of there. I actually really liked boarding school because I didn't have to live with my parents and basically you are very autonomous, you only see the house mothers once per day when it's lights out. Other than that it was a lot like uni. No-one cares if you spend all day everyday in your room and not interacting and you can go to your room every lunch hour too.

It was actually a really sane era in my life. I saw my family only during the school holidays, best situation ever.
 

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Revolutionised the art of bunking ( wagging school or what ever you call it, when you aren't where you are supposed to be)

Turned up for the exams, and passed, so they couldn't complain ... Too much.
 

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I was in a private catholic school as well, I am a Type 5 INTJ and for me it was not hard, but I didn't care for the school or the people there. In my last year I just had the minimun attendance not to repeat the year. I can't say it was depressing, but is a period of my life that i don't remember with a smile on my face like most of the people.

The good thing about my school was the big library they had, and I spent a lot of my time there in the afternoons. So I could say that's how I got trough it ... absence, books and TV.
 

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I hated high school. Type 5 INTJ here. My grades were really low, I'm very intelligent, but I never did my homework or studied for my tests. I regret it now, I wish I'd had gotten higher grades to get into college now. And I never had friends. I were always the one being left over when picking teams, the one that didn't send "the look" to her best friend when the teacher said "make pairs". I hated it.
 

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I`m both INTJ and 5w6 enneagram and from my school I had an awful experienced, l don't hate education or the system, is just that school in particular. As I was a teen I didn't know any better nor as wise enough as I am today. I mean if you go to a job that's making you majorly depressed you wouldn't just coped you would change jobs.

A good school is a school that allows you to improve yourself,
nurture your talent and get you prepared on next part of your life. or whatever makes you happy :p

@xForgottenOne *gives out an oryx hug*
 

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I feel like I've passed high school half-asleep... It wasn't nice, but it didn't hurt that much. I don't know, I was a little lonely at first, but then I found a couple really nice friends and just did what I had to do to get out of there soon and go somewhere I could choose to be.

Having these few nice people always around me helped, I guess... And having an aim for after school too. I didn't feel so bad towards my school, just a little, but maybe if you can see it just as something you have to pass in your way to somewhere you really like, it helps too? You don't have to like it. It's horrible, I know, but you just have to endure it until you can like it. Like when you've got a cold and are feeling horrible - you just bear it until you get better.

My enneagram is 1w2, but, awn, I'm not from a different species or anything.
 

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Highschool was alright i guess, was a bit hard finding a group of friends but once i did it got slightly better. Turns out they were also a bunch of INTJs, we ended up treating it as if were daycare towards the last two years ( i remember carrying around a full book and a pen to each class doing absolutely nothing in classes and just stirring shit with aforementioned mates)
 

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I feel like I've passed high school half-asleep... It wasn't nice, but it didn't hurt that much. I don't know, I was a little lonely at first, but then I found a couple really nice friends and just did what I had to do to get out of there soon and go somewhere I could choose to be.

Having these few nice people always around me helped, I guess... And having an aim for after school too. I didn't feel so bad towards my school, just a little, but maybe if you can see it just as something you have to pass in your way to somewhere you really like, it helps too? You don't have to like it. It's horrible, I know, but you just have to endure it until you can like it. Like when you've got a cold and are feeling horrible - you just bear it until you get better.

My enneagram is 1w2, but, awn, I'm not from a different species or anything.
You're reply I've agreed with the most so far of any, I'd say my highschool experience was pretty similar. I was usually pretty tired at school, and just half-assed it the whole time. First 2 years of highschool were pretty lonely, and probably some of the worst years of my life, but I knew I had to just get past it. Junior year, I made a bunch of friends, not close friends, but people to hang out with, I had some fun, learned that I didn't even need to go to another year of highschool, because of how far ahead I already was, and that it was actually a massive waste of time to stay for another year, so I graduated earlier and gtfo'd. Since then, I've actually become better known, and better liked among all of those people still in highschool, as well as finding a whole lot of new people, that I actually liked to hang out with since graduating. That'd be my advice, try to find a way to just get out of highschool as soon as you can if your friend hates it as much as I did.
 

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Especially a type 7 (if such an INTJ exists).
You rang? :p

I found high school sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boring. It was incredibly easy for me, so I spent most of my time there twiddling my thumbs. I almost dropped out before finishing.

Two things kept me going:

1) Enrolling in the IB program. The coursework was actually somewhat challenging and we were allowed a lot more freedom (both in thought and in work habits).

2) Keeping a long-term view. I had some very clear goals for my life. I knew that I needed to jump through the hoops of the education system to achieve them. I didn't have to like them, I didn't have to enjoy them, but I had to accept them as a means to an end. Staying focused on my prize helped me suffer through the times that I was bored/frustrated to tears.

Okay, I lied, there were three things.

3) Turned it into a game. Once I accepted that school was a necessary evil, I amused myself by learning how to game the system and find all the loopholes that I could exploit to my advantage. It kept me interested and entertained.
 

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I was apathetic toward high school socially. I went, did my work, got good grades, graduated, and didn't look back. I had a few friends, but overall, I went just to get the four years over with and move on to college. I wasn't apathetic toward the work aspect, because I've always pushed myself to gain as much knowledge as possible and held myself to high standards of academic success. I never had any "screw the system" ideas. I was kind of a teacher's pet, in a way. They liked me because I was quiet and did my work, haha.
High school was nothing very special, though. I don't really miss it.
 
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Drug abuse, skipping class, failing a third of them, and chat rooms / forums when not doing the first three with friends. It led to expulsion long before graduation. I then continued my high school experience at a place i only had to attend once a week to turn in and receive assignments and take tests. Cleaned up (largely), never missed that appointed time and very rarely turned in less than double the assigned coursework, which resulted in an early graduation. During that time became increasingly reclusive, falling into the worlds of books and games. largely remained that way through later schooling.

Can't particularly recommend it.

So if you can't find fulfillment in school, including non-mandatory activities/classes/clubs look outside and pursue interests, preferably non-destructive ones. And then do what you must (attend school, get by) so it doesn't impede you doing what you enjoy. But I was (and am, if only slightly lesser) a bit of a screw up,, so take that advice as you will being aware I know far more what i did wrong than what i could have done right.
 

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Hey, guys.

I have an INTJ 5w6 friend at my high school. We have both expressed great distaste for the experience. My views mostly align with hers, although I feel more agitated with peers, but I can get by well enough.

She is another situation entirely. School sucks the life out of her. She grows apathetic towards work because it feels meaningless, and she doesnt respect the school because of its narrow minded view of education and the two faced nature of its religious agenda. (It is a Catholic private high school)

She is getting depressed by this era of her life; I want to ask you all how you found high school to be. Did anyone else feel this crushing refutation of their core ideals and desires? How did you cope? Any and all advice and anecdotes are helpful. It sucks to see amazing people suffer like this.
Oh dear! I do understand your friend's feelings. I went to a strict religious high school and was constantly disgusted by the people using Jesus to gain a leg-up in the school with the teachers. I was never expressively religious, so I had to find other ways of gaining prestige in school.

I personally survived high school by getting involved with its politics. I ran for office and joined the National Honor Society. While I was never the social one within the group (ironic since one of the positions I held was Social Vice President), I nevertheless gained the respect of both my peers and superiors through hard work and careful planning from the back...
 
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Hey, guys.

I have an INTJ 5w6 friend at my high school. We have both expressed great distaste for the experience. My views mostly align with hers, although I feel more agitated with peers, but I can get by well enough.

She is another situation entirely. School sucks the life out of her. She grows apathetic towards work because it feels meaningless, and she doesnt respect the school because of its narrow minded view of education and the two faced nature of its religious agenda. (It is a Catholic private high school)

She is getting depressed by this era of her life; I want to ask you all how you found high school to be. Did anyone else feel this crushing refutation of their core ideals and desires? How did you cope? Any and all advice and anecdotes are helpful. It sucks to see amazing people suffer like this.

I've found high school hard as well. Learning and socially wise.



Learning: I haven't quite figured this out myself. I just can't seem fo focus in class, I've been diagnosed ADD. (type 2)

American psychology is pretty fucked up, so I'm hesitant to say that I have ADD. I guess I'm just really stubborn about what I want to learn, though.

Socially: This one is pretty obvious, no needed explanation.



I dealt with by just ignoring it. I don't think fhere is much else fo do.
 

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I was in the IB programme in my school. It's not funded very well and some of the teachers don't know what they're doing. I like doing hard work, but I don't like doing busy work. I find a lot of the assignments certain classes give me meaningless.

Most of the students at my school also either bore me or I simply don't click with them well enough. I spent most of my brunches and lunches alone unless a guy with a crush followed me along or if I was doing something with a club. I found myself leaning towards talking to some of the teachers more than the students.

I found my first two years of high school completely depressing and I shut myself in. My last two years were rather stressful, but I got very involved in my extracurriculars (and even started a program at school). I made many friends outside of school from my extracurriculars activities. I basically coped with high school by intensely immersing myself in my interests. In the end, I found a lot more meaning in these activities than in my classes.

(I apologise for any weird phrasing of things-- it's late here and I'm tired.)
 

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@Chris Merola I am an INTJ 5w6 who is currently IN high school. While I can successfully pass a class and earn a good grade, I never truly feel intrinsically satisfied because I often feel as if I'm passing with almost little to no effort. I feel like I am a much better scholar outside of class than I am inside of class. Although, this year, I felt like I got more OUT OF more classes than I did freshman year. I feel like I actually learned things in my Pre-AP Chemistry, WHAP, and AP Psychology classes.

As to how I cope with a lack of motivation when it comes to work, well, one of the things I do is distract myself with activities I enjoy, meaning contemplation, reading, listen to music, watching stuff on Netflix, spending time on this forum, writing, etc. That way, I might draw some source of inspiration and motivation for commencing work. But, that is just me.

I can't really say much except that I guess we've gotta hang in there and survive.
 
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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
@Chris Merola I am an INTJ 5w6 who is currently IN high school. While I can successfully pass a class and earn a good grade, I never truly feel intrinsically satisfied because I often feel as if I'm passing with almost little to no effort. I feel like I am a much better scholar outside of class than I am inside of class. Although, this year, I felt like I got more OUT OF more classes than I did freshman year. I feel like I actually learned things in my Pre-AP Chemistry, WHAP, and AP Psychology classes.

As to how I cope with a lack of motivation when it comes to work, well, one of the things I do is distract myself with activities I enjoy, meaning contemplation, reading, listen to music, watching stuff on Netflix, spending time on this forum, writing, etc. That way, I might draw some source of inspiration and motivation for commencing work. But, that is just me.

I can't really say much except that I guess we've gotta hang in there and survive.
Thank you for the reply, that seems to be how she best copes with school. Luckily we both finished out junior year today, so it will all be over soon, haha
 

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I was in the early stages of changing into an INTJ around the time I started high school. My preference for judging started to increase even more quickly somewhere between junior year and the start of college and continued to increase over the years until I finally had had enough, and forcibly worked on my perception for about two weeks until I noticed INTP traits emerging and crystallizing in my behavior. My enneagram type is 5 ("The Investigator") and I assume it was more or less the same in high school because my curiosity, ideals, and introversion have pretty much been constant since then. I should note that I was only at about 20% of my current level of cynicism and about 15% of my worldly knowledge during most of my high school years and I know for a fact that it would have been almost impossible for my current self to cope with high school and not get expelled by debating every teacher who insulted my intelligence with his/her treatment of their students — but I guess that's why we're required to go to high school before most of us are capable of inciting those kinds of train wrecks ^^! Also, Fair warning to anyone who reads this, there is rambling and there is resentment at some of the memories I chose to let this thread stir up for me.

I was fortunate in that I didn't have to go to a religious school, but admittedly there were still a few challenges for me in high school. I've had a cognitive processing disorder for as long as I can remember, so any test that actually required some critical thinking (especially short essay answers) would often take me the entire class period if not longer to finish depending on how many questions required me to think. I also hated taking notes because despite writing as fast as possible in some classes till my hand would ache, I still wasn't fast enough to keep up with some teachers. In the worst cases I simply listened and hoped I could take it in; I vaguely recall giving up note taking and getting into an argument with the teacher about how he/she was going through the notes too quickly and I didn't see a point in trying to keep up. The stupid f*** probably thought I was trying to make excuses.

I actually had another unpleasant note taking experience on two separate occasions with a different teacher. I was visibly taking notes in her class and suddenly she stopped the lecture and asked "Why aren't you taking notes?" On both occasions I was literally speechless with disbelief at her insanity and looking back I am seriously wondering if she suffered from some mental illness that impaired her perception of reality. Sometimes I just wish I could go back in time and ask those kinds of teachers, "Um, tell me again, you are qualified to teach students how exactly?" Apart from that I did well in most subjects and was favored as a ringer for team trivia games in classes that focused almost entirely on rote memorization. I was one of those students who would (most of the time correctly) interrupt a teacher with my answer before they finished the question when I felt like I could get away with it.

The only obligatory or required behavior and assignments that really pissed me off involved introducing myself, talking about my life, and by far the worst, incorporating it into an actual graded assignment that had the potential to impact my grade. Those were the only times I ever regretted being introverted, and I intend to keep it that way. I think the best "revenge" I ever got in that regard was when I was encouraged to introduce myself to the people around me in a community college orientation and I just sat there and disappeared into my thoughts. The quiet outrage it caused among the narrow-minded staff made it entirely worthwhile for me.

Socially, I was occasionally befriended by some classmates, but never met anyone capable of being my friend in high school. As some members also stated, spending time alone in places like the library was a pleasant temporary relief from the company of my peers. I answered questions frequently in the classes that I cared about (mostly science classes) and would often become the teacher's pet in those classes; in contrast, I was almost the complete opposite in classes I didn't care for or hated outright. I suppose that pretending that I didn't want to somehow permanently silence the valley girls was the only challenging social aspect of high school for me that I dealt with on a regular basis.

Even more anecdotes for anyone who read this far and hasn't fallen asleep:

I had two memorable experiences revolving around talkative students. In chemistry, there was a student who was constantly talking in the seat right in front of me. I remained silent until her boyfriend called her out for being annoying and talkative (jokingly) and she actually turned to me and asked (in an equally non-serious manner), "Am I annoying?" I responded quite flatly with something along the lines of, "Yes you are quite annoying. You talk constantly and make it difficult for us to pay attention in class." Almost instantly, I kid you not, almost every male student in the classroom got up and gave me a standing ovation.

In physics, there was a female student who fit almost every criterion of the popular high school cheerleader stereotype, and I had to sit next to her until I finally took my complaints to my physics teacher. I may have been somewhat naive at the time, but I was still able to put two and two together and connect her bizarre and disruptive behavior with the various medications she succinctly carried around in prescription bottles. I hinted at this by telling my physics teacher, "Could you change my seating arrangement? I think you know who I'm talking about when I say that there is a student who is highly disruptive to your class and impairs my ability to pay attention because she goes into this drug-induced state and . . ." I believe he found my bluntness and implied cynicism on the matter refreshing because that was the first and only time I ever heard him laugh in the entire school year.

I think by far the most ironic memory from high school was the fact that I never did anything extracurricular or strove to achieve anything noteworthy, but of all the stupid things to be mentioned in the school paper for, it ended up being my participation in Pi day. The librarian came into class and my math teacher must have mentioned that I was in the back room writing the digits I memorized on the white board because the small white boards he normally provided didn't have enough writing space. The bell rang before I could finish because it was a half day and I wasn't allowed to start writing the digits until quite literally the last 5 or so minutes of class, and the librarian barged in and started counting the digits I had written on the white board like an obsessive parent.

It seemed quite funny at the time until I realized about a week later that she had done so to have me mentioned in the school paper (without my consent) for what I felt was my one of my most inconsequential accomplishments in high school. Possibly even more disappointing than that was the fact that I only had one competitor in the digit recitation activity for Pi day because everyone else in the class who would have competed automatically forfeited upon realizing that I was to compete against them. As a point of reference, they considered me to be the "genius" of the class for reasons that still escape me to this day — so, much like the librarian, they make the obtuse judgment of associating perceived intelligence with a strong innate memory.

And there you have it, a formerly INTJ's notable memories and experiences about high school.
 
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