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Discussion Starter #1
I wanted to see how different types react upon discovering their types and what their weaknesses and strengths are.
Did your perception of yourself and others change?
Did your way of thinking change?
How did you manage the information, was it difficult to deal with or was it a relief to understand what's been going on?
Did you start trying to better yourself?
 

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It wasn't really that big of a deal. It took me a while to figure it out, but once I did it was just nice to know because it made sense. My perception became more self-aware, I guess. If I'm having a rough day I can recognize it and fight it more efficiently. My thinking didn't change much. It was mostly just helpful to be able to describe my habits and patterns. One thing that I have worked on since getting my type is spending more time in places or situations that I know help me to either stay at peace or work towards integration, and that's been pretty nice.
That's all I've got.
 

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"This sounds a bit like me, but at the same time not really."
*Goes on to read about the other enneagrams, having the same reaction*
"Oh wow, the enneagram is confusing. I give up."
*Redoes same thing at multiple times and finally realize I'm a 9*
When I finally accepted myself, I started to understand myself more xD Like oh, this is why I do that.
I should probably try to make my knowledge useful, huh? xD Still caught up in trying to find my tritype though!
 

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Did your perception of yourself and others change?

Yes it did at some level. I took long time to arrive at Type 9. But journey was tiring but result is good. It was not a eureka moment for me but was more like long sigh that I have finally arrived where I belong to.

I did not change perception towards others though.

Did your way of thinking change?


Thinking has not changed but has increased self-awareness. I am understanding the reasons of my behaviours and my thought process. I understand my aggressions and real-reasons behind it (well most of the time).

Everyday brings me new awareness about myself while I am observing myself. I am understanding type 9 descriptions more now as I was reading them earlier as if those descriptions were not about me.

How did you manage the information, was it difficult to deal with or was it a relief to understand what's been going on?

More or less I have answered this in above question. I sometimes surprise myself about the new understanding as if I can have such and such thoughts or feelings. My suggestion to you is let your thoughts and feelings flow. Even they are negative. Because they are part of your personality. Ignoring negative thoughts and feelings will not help to become more self-aware.

Did you start trying to better yourself?

I am trying to bring myself more into action all the time. That is the time I am more comfortable. I am becoming aware of various ways of me getting into indolence and inertia. For type 9 indolence and inertia is not a problem, they are by-product of what we are avoiding. We tend to avoid conflicts, extra effort to complete a task. More often wrongly we think that we will not be able to complete the task at hand may be because of lack of confidence, lack of clarity etc. This results in indolence and inertia or even increase unproductive activity.
 

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My reaction was a little more extreme. I have a tendency to get really obsessive about certain interests, so it’s either all or nothing for me. I was really into the MBTI a couple of years ago and in my researching I came across the enneagram. I read through all the descriptions and realized that I might be a type 9. I HATED it and was very angry, because I thought it confirmed all of the insecurities I had about myself; that I was a boring, spineless, lazy, empty, amorphous blob floating through life. I really wanted to be a 4 for some reason, probably because 4s have a distinct sense of identity, uniqueness, strong passions, and depth of emotions and personality (what I desperately wished I had). So I did what any typical 9 would do; I stuck my head in the sand and hoped it would go away. I told myself enneagram and other theories were crocks and I gave up my interest in personality theory for a while.

I recently realized that I wasn’t really happy with where I was in my life. I needed a change and it needed to start from the inside. I started trying to do a lot of self-improvement and reflection on life, and started getting into spirituality and psychology again in an effort to figure myself out and find the path I wanted to be on. With a little bit more maturity, I came back to the enneagram and was finally able to accept that yes, I am a type 9, and that is ok. It was still very depressing for me, because I didn’t really see any merits in being a 9. I thought it had to be the worst one in the enneagram.

Gradually I came to realize that 9 wasn’t all bad, and that I could accept these parts of me without feeling bitter. So yes, my perception of myself changed greatly. I gained a lot of self-awareness and self-acceptance, which in turn helped me to face my darker side. On a deeper spiritual level it helped me to realize my greatest fear: that everything is empty, disconnected, and meaningless. The holy idea of type nine is holy love, which is something that rings very true to me. I have always hoped that my greatest fear was wrong and that instead we are all connected and worthy of love and value, the very essence of holy love.

The enneagram also helped me to see others for who they were a little better, accept them for their flaws, and see their positives. I’ve also since realized that I don’t have to let the enneagram define me or box me in. Yes, I am indecisive, a procrastinator, and I sometimes function as a wallflower and a doormat. But that’s not who I really am, those are only defense mechanisms. The enneagram has helped me to feel free from those “personality chains” I put myself in unconsciously, and has freed me to discover the things in life that are really important and meaningful to me.
 

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It was a punch in the gut to see aspects of myself that I was unaware of, when I considered myself to be a highly self-aware and introspective person it was very humbling.

Did your perception of yourself and others change?
Yes. I became aware of weaknesses and strengths alike, things that had always been there, I just didn't understand the motivation for them, or why I reacted to things like I did. They weren't part of my active self-awareness.

It also brought to light how people often react to me/perceive me, and why. That aspect was almost exclusively a positive experience.

Did your way of thinking change?
It changed what I was aware of, it stopped aspects being numbed with lack of conscious thought, it was an awareness of behavioural aspects and habits that I had just been going along with and gave the understanding that certain ways of being/reactions were not okay for someone who wants to be self-aware and responsible, so in order to change those aspects there is an element of changing my way of thinking, however it's more just a matter of being awake to those aspects in the first place.

Consider anger as an example. Me without knowledge of being Enneagram 9 would say anger is a bad thing, also, I don't experience it. Both have elements of truth, both are also wrong. Me with knowledge of being 9 realises that I am always angry, it is a raw force that never leaves me, it has also always been supressed due to not believing I have a right to anger, and not wanting to present something that others would consider unacceptable. So now that I am aware that anger is basically my driving force to life I can no longer ignore it when it rises, I am hyper aware of it, and now my question is not "do I have anger" but "how do I choose to experience it", I could continue to supress it if I wanted, or I can choose to use it as a positive thing and grow from it. This isn't changing my thinking so much as becoming aware.

How did you manage the information, was it difficult to deal with or was it a relief to understand what's been going on?
It was a shock, yet also enlightening. It wasn't difficult to deal with (and certainly not a relief) however it meant I did not have the option of pretending I didn't know these things about myself, if I chose to ignore after knowing, it would be deliberate self-sabotage/immaturity, I still can, and do at times, however as immaturity and irresponsibility are not the man I want to be, I cannot allow that kind of stasis so it's a constant pressure to overcome weaknesses, which can be very difficult.

Did you start trying to better yourself?
There is no point to me in knowing this system, and not using it for its intended purpose: self-awareness, then self-development.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I HATED it and was very angry, because I thought it confirmed all of the insecurities I had about myself; that I was a boring, spineless, lazy, empty, amorphous blob floating through life. I really wanted to be a 4 for some reason, probably because 4s have a distinct sense of identity, uniqueness, strong passions, and depth of emotions and personality (what I desperately wished I had).
Haha, well I have to inform you that for me it was the exact opposite. The books and articles kept mentioning that all types were equally good and that no type had an easier life and I kept thinking "Well what about nines, they sound like the best personality by far AND THEY PUT IT AT THE TOP OF THE CIRCLE TOO!!" For me nine seemed like the crown chacra on a digram.
I guess no one's really happy with their Enneagram type
 

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Reaction? ...
"...? Is this really me?... Some of the....I can relate to a lot of these things, bu..... people around me have told me I was like this befo... that makes sense now... oh.... yeah, i guess this really is me." :S

Did your perception of yourself and others change?
Not particularly, in any significant way I would say.

Did your way of thinking change?
A bit. I wasn't as afraid anymore of categorizing personalities to optimize function in thought.

How did you manage the information, was it difficult to deal with or was it a relief to understand what's been going on?
More of the latter; the negative points were a lot of things that I already hyper-criticized myself for, and reading my enneagram profile helped me put my shame to rest and reason those things out, which helped me gain a lot more self-awareness.

Did you start trying to better yourself?
Definitely.
 

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Haha, well I have to inform you that for me it was the exact opposite. The books and articles kept mentioning that all types were equally good and that no type had an easier life and I kept thinking "Well what about nines, they sound like the best personality by far AND THEY PUT IT AT THE TOP OF THE CIRCLE TOO!!" For me nine seemed like the crown chacra on a digram.
I guess no one's really happy with their Enneagram type
Yeah, I do believe the world needs all types, 9s included! :happy: I guess I just struggle with being a 9 because I feel like we might have an easy life, it’s doesn’t seem to be as full of a life. I don’t want to sleepwalk through all of life, I want to be fully alive! But that’s the curse of a 9. We’re out of touch with ourselves and the world, stuck in a cocoon. Every day I just want to break free from the cocoon but I don’t know how. I’d rather have a fatal flaw and have potential for greater good than to be someone who is just neutral, no big flaws but no positive traits that stand out either. As the saying goes, the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. I really do believe that with all of my being, yet I fall into the trap of indifference every day.
 

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Did my perception of others and of myself change? No, not really. Type 9 seemed to fit me like a glove, and so it was more like a confirmation of what had I originally thought about myself. Did my way of thinking change? Somewhat. It was similar to the discovery of my MBTI type, being that I found that most of my embarrassing moments and failures were a direct result of my behaving out-of-character. Type-awareness really showed me how to be myself, and not try to be someone that I'm not. You might say my way of thinking changed in that respect. How did I manage the information, was it difficult to deal with or was it a relief to understand what's been going on? A relief. Did I start trying to better myself? Yes.
 

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I was not surprised so much at the results as I was with the similarities of thoughts and actions of the 9 wing1. It hit the mark with me. I think it is great to pin point my feelings and thoughts to this degree.
 

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I thought I was a 5 when I first started my enneagram journey. When I found out I was a 9 it explained a lot about me that had me confused for many years. I noticed a few times in my life that I couldn't explain and made me feel different. For example, not having a staunch opinion on many things and being good at seeing things from another person's point of view. This would backfire on me at times because if I'm debating/discussing something with someone and I say there's a few points in their argument I agree with, but overall they're wrong, they always say something along the lines of, "See I'm right I told ya so!" It's as if they are either 100% right or 100% wrong there can be no middle ground, which is where I lie on a lot of issues.

Over all it helps me understand myself better and to work on my weaknesses and strengths. If something is bothering me I do something about it. I try to get out of my comfort zone and I know I'll be OK. I know now I need to work hard to get things done and I need to stop procrastinating as much. Enneagram has been eye opening for me. It's too bad everyone I introduce it to couldn't care less.


LOL of course I didn't even answer the question... My very first thoughts of being a 9 was disappointment because I was only looking at the negatives.
 

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My reaction was a little more extreme. I have a tendency to get really obsessive about certain interests, so it’s either all or nothing for me. I was really into the MBTI a couple of years ago and in my researching I came across the enneagram. I read through all the descriptions and realized that I might be a type 9. I HATED it and was very angry, because I thought it confirmed all of the insecurities I had about myself; that I was a boring, spineless, lazy, empty, amorphous blob floating through life. I really wanted to be a 4 for some reason, probably because 4s have a distinct sense of identity, uniqueness, strong passions, and depth of emotions and personality (what I desperately wished I had). So I did what any typical 9 would do; I stuck my head in the sand and hoped it would go away. I told myself enneagram and other theories were crocks and I gave up my interest in personality theory for a while.

I recently realized that I wasn’t really happy with where I was in my life. I needed a change and it needed to start from the inside. I started trying to do a lot of self-improvement and reflection on life, and started getting into spirituality and psychology again in an effort to figure myself out and find the path I wanted to be on. With a little bit more maturity, I came back to the enneagram and was finally able to accept that yes, I am a type 9, and that is ok. It was still very depressing for me, because I didn’t really see any merits in being a 9. I thought it had to be the worst one in the enneagram.

Gradually I came to realize that 9 wasn’t all bad, and that I could accept these parts of me without feeling bitter. So yes, my perception of myself changed greatly. I gained a lot of self-awareness and self-acceptance, which in turn helped me to face my darker side. On a deeper spiritual level it helped me to realize my greatest fear: that everything is empty, disconnected, and meaningless. The holy idea of type nine is holy love, which is something that rings very true to me. I have always hoped that my greatest fear was wrong and that instead we are all connected and worthy of love and value, the very essence of holy love.

The enneagram also helped me to see others for who they were a little better, accept them for their flaws, and see their positives. I’ve also since realized that I don’t have to let the enneagram define me or box me in. Yes, I am indecisive, a procrastinator, and I sometimes function as a wallflower and a doormat. But that’s not who I really am, those are only defense mechanisms. The enneagram has helped me to feel free from those “personality chains” I put myself in unconsciously, and has freed me to discover the things in life that are really important and meaningful to me.
I'm not sure if this is a 9 type thing. But coming up as a 9, it was more about learning more about myself. I had always felt I was too forgiving, too agreeable, and insecure regarding myself. But as I got older, I did soul searching and coming to terms of who I am. When I found out my type, I wasn't really shocked. I felt good knowing that I was a peaceful individual who got along with most people.
 

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I was like, "...This makes SO much more sense than 2."
And, "THAT'S why I'm a lazy motherfucker."
And I'm a lot more honest with myself now, I know the reasons behind my denial of any sorts of negativity. I know when I'm doing it, and I can sometimes stop it, only sometimes though.
 

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I avoided it for such a long time,tried to convince myself I was motivated by different things and wanted to be basically any other type,but few days ago it just hit me and I realized it's impossible for me to be any other type.It's very depressing,I can't believe I cried while reading some of the things.I always found it funny how some people react so emotionally to reading enneagram descriptions,never thought it could happen to me.I used to think it was just a number with few personality traits attached to it but it's really so much more.It's actually one of the worst feelings I ever had,discovering I'm the last thing I wanna be.I still have some hope that maybe I'm wrong,maybe I could be something else,maybe I can make myself be something more acceptable but the truth is I am what I am and nothing I do can change that,if there was a way to completely escape then I never would have found out about being a 9 in the first place.

Anyway,congrats @Animal,and thank you
 

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I avoided it for such a long time,tried to convince myself I was motivated by different things and wanted to be basically any other type,but few days ago it just hit me and I realized it's impossible for me to be any other type.It's very depressing,I can't believe I cried while reading some of the things.I always found it funny how some people react so emotionally to reading enneagram descriptions,never thought it could happen to me.I used to think it was just a number with few personality traits attached to it but it's really so much more.It's actually one of the worst feelings I ever had,discovering I'm the last thing I wanna be.I still have some hope that maybe I'm wrong,maybe I could be something else,maybe I can make myself be something more acceptable but the truth is I am what I am and nothing I do can change that,if there was a way to completely escape then I never would have found out about being a 9 in the first place.

Anyway,congrats @Animal,and thank you
Aww <3

You're welcome :) It was awesome reading your thread. I loved your honesty about yourself. And I totally get it too. I resisted a 4 typing so hard. It's so funny to me that many people WANT to be 4s when they come here and will try to convince people.... meanwhile people kept typing me at 4 and I was running the other way. I wanted so badly to be a 3. Or a lot of other types. The funny thing is, by the time I did type at 4, I came to like the type. Even before I fully realized I was a 4.. because I found out a certain ex of mine was a 4, and I always wanted to be like him.. always admired him so much and felt "less than" .. and I realized he felt the same about me.. two envious 4s, what a mess.. but it made me happy to be a 4.. by the time I finally let myself admit it. But prior to realizing he was a 4, I resisted the typing and talked around it any way I could.
 

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My problem is that I don't think I ever admired anyone who was a 9,I did like some 9's though but that's even worse for me,being the kind of person people kinda like but don't respect or admire or even really like.But I think that my grandma I mentioned could be a 9,probably 92X and she is such a pain in the ass but she is the only person in the world I don't want dead and really,really find important so maybe some day someone will feel that way about me.
And I really hope I have an 8 wing at least XD

So,97something
I think my 6 is just a line.
What do you think about my heart fix atm?Ever since finding out about 9 I feel like everything is just 9 being 9,I can't even see my heart fix as something separate.
 
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