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I really want to figure out if there's a way in which INFPs usually meet their partners, and if so, which way that is. I assume/d one-on-one contact was usually best and even made a thread on how some INFPs may attract people to them when they are alone, but one user made an excellent point by saying that some of those people you meet are not respecting your privacy by coming up to you when you want to be alone, and thus may not respect your privacy later in the relationship, if indeed one is formed between you and said person. I rebuttled saying that if a sane, extrovert person has to make a concious effort to meet someone when they're alone and really get to know them - someone introverted and emotional, at that, which I've heard can be difficult for many - then an introvert has to make the concious effort to step out of THEIR comfort zone and speak to the person approaching them, or whatever..you get what I'm saying, hopefully. Maybe someone here can phrase it better.

Also..can there be a situation in which two people meet where it is less nerve-wracking for one than another based on time and place or whatever else may be a factor? Does it even matter who it's more nerve-wracking for?

Our supposed "perfect" match is the ENFJ, and though I've said this elsewhere, I feel the need to again mention the fact that one of those people who came up to me was most likely an ENFJ. I avoided that person 3 times until they actually said something, and it ended up being one of my best relationships. My father is also an ENFJ, and is constantly approaching those around him, although I've never seen him flirt with someone in front of me because, I mean, I really don't want to see that. :mellow:

So, please tell me how you've met yours, whether they are the person you're with now or a person you've been with before, and maybe we can figure something out. Are they an extrovert or an introvert? What about the rest of their personality?
 

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I met my husband (ISTP)at a party held for a mutual acquaintance of ours. We're both introverts. We had had our eye on each other all night and I took the initiative by waving him at him/ smiling and offering to let him play a game with myself and some other guests. Then we spent the rest of the night chit chatting, exchanged numbers, and the rest is history.
 

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Theatre actually. We met at a show we were both cast in and became friends. Things sort of tipped about a year later when we were cast as audrey and touchstone in as you like it...
 

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First boyfriend (Extrovert): He just started talking to me at a school party. Hung out with him for two weeks, then he surprised me by telling his mom that I was his girlfriend over the phone a couple days before he left for boot camp...

Second boyfriend (INTJ): Internet chatroom. We had an internet friendship for about a year and a half before dating.

Current boyfriend (INTP): He was alone at school, I sat down and said hi-- this probably worked because neither of us really had friends at school. I didn't mean to get into a relationship with him at the time, though, so I wasn't being flirty or anything.

I don't mind talking to strangers as long as they're not in a group or look like they seriously don't want to be disturbed.
 

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I met my husband (INTP) through mutual friends. I was actually dating one of his best friends at the time. We were friends for about 5 years before we even started dating. We even lived together in a big house with two other people for a year before the romance started. We were always just friends and there never anything more than that. I thought he was cute, but that was about it. He was painfully shy. Like, very very extremely shy and timid. The whole year we lived together i think we only had two conversations with just the two of us, and they were awkward and short. But I noticed that his male friends who were always around seemed to adore him and laugh at everything he said, like he was the best person in the world. People just seemed to love him. That attracted me to him because I felt like there was more to him than I got the chance to see when it was just me and him.

Eventually, the relationship I was already in was fizzling and suddenly he came into the picture. I realized that I was totally in love with him. It was weird, it sort of came out of nowhere. And once I started paying special attention to him and writing him emails every day, I realized why all his friends loved him so much. He has a beautiful mind and is the kindest, most thoughtful man ever. Intelligent, considerate, funny - a real treasure, pure gold. :)

There's my story! <3
 

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I want to hear more of these, probably one of the best threads i've seen.

Unfortunately i'm basically single, all relationships i've been in have come through work (not including school), in fact I can't see a different way since I don't hang out in bars, and if I somehow do, I have no interest in anyone 99% of the time. At work you get to know people and slowly which is the perfect pace for me.
 

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my estj bf jsut came to my room. its so funny jsut like my dad predicted. as an infp u know i spend much time in my room. my dad would always say u can sit in your room all day but someone will find u anyway. and its exactly how it happened althought i never thought his words could come true.
my mom was on the phone with her freind and she said her freinds son needed to borrow some special kind of camera equipment asap and she put him on the phone my mom put me on the phone turned out i had what he was lookin for. in 15 minutes hes was in my room. normally id prolly tell my mom to give it to him or sth since i dont like strangers invading my room without lettin me know a couple days prior but surprisingly i rly wanted to meet him coz he sounded cool on the phone.
and honestly he had me at hello. i invited him to my room and the convo we had was so great and felt so natural like i knew him for ages. i also agreed to meet him the next day for a beer were he could give back what he borrowed. then the next day we went biking and i realised ive fallen for him. it all happened so fast i couldnt believe it. we've been together for 3 years now :)
but honestly if it wasnt him makin the first step and makin all other steps tellin me how he likes me and showing it, i wouldnt prolly ever say anything and we'd be strangers now. thats one of the things i admire about him. if he likes sth he gets it ;P
 

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I met my girlfriend in a game we both played over the internet. She's Intj ;P
Now I'm in a long distance relationship for more than a year, and always looking forward to meet her every 1-2 months o.o. Thanks god for skype =P
!!
 

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Rebecca. She's also an INFP - and technically we met "for the first time" twice xD


I used to work part-time as a cashier at a retail store back around Christmas 2010. She was seventeen at the time. Came in shopping with her mother; and of course, I just so happened to be the one serving them. She was incredibly bashful from the get go, blushing almost every time our eyes would meet, which I instantly found cute. She said nothing at all infact, as I engaged in conversation with her mother, who went on to compliment me on my politeness, as well as questioning the origin of my peculiar accent (I'm Scottish - but for some obscure reason, I sound Canadian).

After the final bag was packed and her mother said thankyou and goodbye, turning to leave; Rebecca froze, staring me right in the eyes, opening her mouth a little as though about to finally speak - but all that escaped was an adorable little whimper. Embarrassed, she quickly waved me goodbye, before darting off like a frightened rabbit.

And as the two of them walked side-by-side out of the store, Rebecca's mother turned to her and said the most accidentally profound thing:

"You should find yourself a guy like that".




And that's exactly what Rebecca did. Not only was he a guy like that. He was THAT guy.




I had honestly never expected to ever see her again. For the rest of that day, as well as occasionally throughout the next couple weeks, both Rebecca and I would think about that prolonged eye-contact we'd shared and wonder where the other was. I guess that's an INFP thing; finding significant meaning in something as seemingly trivial as a look. For reasons neither of us could explain, we couldn't stop thinking about each other - despite neither even knowing the other's name.


Eventually though, we had completely forgotten about the event. About six months later, in May of 2011, whilst I was out with my friend Squirrel (just a nickname, her real name is Sara) - we made plans to go off on an adventure together; so we headed to the library to see a map of the area surrounding our hometown, in order to pick a place where we'd never been before - and randomly selected a village which had oddly been named California, several miles out of town.

After we'd grabbed some munchies from the supermarket and loaded them into our backpacks, Squirrel asked me if it was alright for her to bring along some other friends on our adventure. I told her the more the merrier, so she did. She invited her friends Natalie and Rebecca.

"Rebecca, this is Liam."

We instantly recognized one another; although it took us a while to actually remember from where. Rebecca was far less shy, in the comfort of her own friends. And that day we would later come to remember as being one of the single greatest days of our lives - even if we'd later end up covered in mud, deep in a field of cows. How were we to know that wasn't a shortcut?


Nineteen days later and we shared our first kiss in a tree at the park.

We've now been together just over nine months.
 

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At a club, we were both club kids in our early 20's. She had seen me at dancing for months at different places. There was a Wednesday alternative night put sponsored by a local radio station. The deejay, who I knew, kept playing Depeche Mode's I Just Can't Enough at alternative night every week for months. Finally my group of friends and I had enough so every time she played that song, we would start doing the Electric Slide and inviting random strangers in the crowd and teaching them steps. That's the very first thing I said to my wife, "Do you want to learn how to do the Electric Slide?"

Married 15 years and we still love dancing. But we go different nights now. I dance to EBM and synthpop. She dances to tribal and trance.
 

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Blind Date

I met my ESFP husband almost 4 decades ago in a blind date. He's a bit older than I and had a lot more life experiences...which made him all the more interesting.

Funny thing, I thought he was shy and quiet when we first met. Well, he was during those few months we dated. Talk about impulsive (ESFP), he proposed in our first month of courtship.

Only in the past few years have I come to realize what an extravert he is. I'm so glad I didn't get to see that side of him when we were dating. After my first marriage to an extravert, I had wrongly assumed that people who always knew just the right thing to say couldn't be trusted.

So I thought this blind date was honest, a man of integrity and compassion, kind and caring, and extremely intelligent. All these years later, I was right about all those things.

Accepting Jesus as my Savior was my first best decision ever. Choosing that one and only blind date for my husband is the 2nd. And those two decisions were actually tied together, because when my first marriage painfully ended, I asked the Lord to please send me the man that He knew would be right for me, best for me, faithful to me.

He certainly did that. In spite of all my hang-ups, all my negativism and criticism, he never gave up on me. He's a man among men. What a wonderful guy...and gift from above!
 

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My stories are not so beautiful... all of the girlfriends I have met was when I was a bit drunk and normally in a bar/club. Sounds a bit naff although there were definitely some quirky romantic moments in there :) I would very much like now to be able to meet someone outside of this situation (just for a change!) but old habits die hard and I get impatient, unfortunately. Also this is pretty much how people meet eachother where I come from. I don't go to bars/clubs that often these days though so I will probably have to try other more subtle ways :)

Nice thread btw, cheers.
 

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I met my INTJ ex on a forum.
He was a persistent guy, but I despised his stupidity and gutlessness, so he disappeared.
A little later he showed up just in the middle of a drama where I had a crush on one of my guy buddies and he had on me, my best friend had a crush on him too. I ignored the poor INTJ sucker and he disappeared again.
Third time he wrote a text to me proposing how much he likes me, how he have changed and etc. I laughed at his feelings and made him cry. We gradually started texting and talking a lot, I became keen on him.
Just before the new years I offered him to come to my new years party as a joke. He took that seriously and we met on 2010 31st of December. It was hard for me with him, since be barely talked and acted childishly, but I liked his eyes a lot and overall we were cute together.
On the party I got drunk a little and kissed him, we ended up drinking shots together and then eating ice cream. No other intimate contact we made that night, but I offered him to start dating after three days when he left.
Well, shit, now I regret everything...
 

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I met my INFP through an online dating site. At this point, I had gone on a few dates, but they were unsatisfactorily. I felt that I was playing up the conversation(s) and nothing about past exchanges were natural. We met in a coffee shop and the conversation was intellectually stimulating, in which made me even more attracted to him because with the other dates, it was a '20 questions' kind of date. With him, I wasn't being bored by having to talk about myself or trying to think of questions to ask. We made a joke because through the site, we had talked on the site before, we would always be 'matched up', but I would cancel/remake my accounts constantly, but I'm not saying it was fate. He is someone that I want in my life; there is a connection that I haven't been able to create with past romantic partners (which is where the problem lies: you can't create connections with other people, it has to be natural). He had said recently, "you have such a coy beautiful way with me". I never thought online dating actually functions for its purpose, but we have been together for two years.
 
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