Personality Cafe banner
1 - 10 of 10 Posts

·
Registered
Beta Gang - EIE 3w4 - 368 sx/so
Joined
·
4,750 Posts
Very good question, at 28yo I still can't answer to that, the whole "figurin out who I am and what I want".

I know what I can do, what I cant do, but theres a lot of hum, lets say self doubt about so many things that I'm actually not actin a lot where I should. I'm still hopin that i'll find the answer one day, that i'll find a person that will be a model to me so i'll be all like "damn, i want to do that". but so far it never happened.

Might be because I just never really had the "taste" for efforts aswell. Doin them when its necessary otherwise fuck that
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,075 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Very good question, at 28yo I still can't answer to that, the whole "figurin out who I am and what I want".

I know what I can do, what I cant do, but theres a lot of hum, lets say self doubt about so many things that I'm actually not actin a lot where I should. I'm still hopin that i'll find the answer one day, that i'll find a person that will be a model to me so i'll be all like "damn, i want to do that". but so far it never happened.

Might be because I just never really had the "taste" for efforts aswell. Doin them when its necessary otherwise fuck that
Maybe @Kintsugi has some tips
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,435 Posts
Very good question, at 28yo I still can't answer to that, the whole "figurin out who I am and what I want".

I know what I can do, what I cant do, but theres a lot of hum, lets say self doubt about so many things that I'm actually not actin a lot where I should. I'm still hopin that i'll find the answer one day, that i'll find a person that will be a model to me so i'll be all like "damn, i want to do that". but so far it never happened.

Might be because I just never really had the "taste" for efforts aswell. Doin them when its necessary otherwise fuck that
Maybe @Kintsugi has some tips
I don't think these are easy questions for an ESFP to answer because we tend to figure stuff out step-by-step. It's harder for us to acknowledge and to describe to someone what kind of mountain we are climbing, let alone justify why we are climbing it, or predict where it might lead us. We are instead focused on the moment, relishing each adventure that life throws us, along the way. Ask us the same question when we have reached the peak of said mountain, and you will probably get a different answer.

Having said that, however, experiences become empty and hollow when there is no meaning or depth to them. And there is the tendency for the Se-dominant to jump from adventure to adventure, mindlessly.

I always though of Joseph Campbell's "hero" (from "The Hero with a Thousand Faces") as being some kind of Se-dominant that sets out on an adventure of self discovery that eventually brings them depth, meaning, and understanding to their experiences.

"A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man."

This can, of course, be used to describe the "journey" of any given type.

It's important for us (ESxPs) to understand that everything is a process. It's really hard to get your head around that when you are so focused on the dots, and not so much on the lines that connect them, and where those lines may take us. This is not something that comes naturally to us, which is why I value conversations with Ni-dominants so much, they "fill in the blanks". I always felt I was seeking the perspective/advice of a certain "someone" before I become close with an INTJ.

As for the OP;

Life is about personal expression, freedom, and will. It's about finding the strength to pursue your dreams despite challenges. It's about making your mark on reality.

<font color="#000000">











 

·
Registered
Joined
·
125 Posts
Life is the opportunity given to me by my sperm who managed to outrace millions of his competitors :laughing:
Fo real tho, it's not something not worth living for if you don't enjoy it. You literally are playing a game with only one life. Yet this is the biggest, baddest, greatest, most beautiful and only world that you live in.

So how can you enjoy yourself? How do you know how to enjoy yourself, even though there is so much self-doubt ingrained in the mind of human nature? What is your purpose and how do you find it?
My opinion on that is that you can't know the answer to any of those questions. You can't write it down on paper or read it somewhere (though you can always educate yourself and open new ways to perceive things if you read books! Or any other for of media for that matter). Some are blessed enough to see one trigger and they immediately know "that's what I'm gonna do!", but that seldom or rather never happens.

It's always a process without being able to measure your progress while it's happening and without knowing how much more 'til you reach your goal. So you never know how far you've come until you live your ass off, look back and then see what you've been through.

Quote: "You want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you."
There is no purpose that you can "find" - you can only create it. Forget seeking for it, when worst comes to worst you will have lived your life without ever finding it. Fuck finding it. Start creating it. Create a life and a purpose that will make you happy with your own to hands.


Also, what matters to me or doesn't often isn't something that I decide in a specific moment, after thinking through and rationalizing everything. It's more of a subtle, yet clear image that just exists. It's kind of hard to explain, but I always know what matters or what doesn't. And sometimes it doesn't make sense, but most of the time it's worth it/a decision that would make me happy.


PS: Apologies to you, I see you are an INTJ and this text will most probably not make any sense to you, nor help you (if you were looking for help anyway). If it wasn't too cringy, I hope it at least interested you to see other people's POV :laughing:
Why did you specifically ask ESFPs?
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,122 Posts
For me, life has to be lived. It's a great adventure, when you can explore sensations, places, try new things, make friends, live in the moment.
Experience is a word that means you have lived life, I think.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,075 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
@LarryL:

It may not be entirely my way, but it makes enough sense :tongue:

I'm trying to get a better understanding of ESFP's, figure out how common self-aware ESFP's are, and perhaps figure out a thing or two about myself. More experience of what I already have a lot of is hardly going to be the key to enlightenment. Considering it a broadening of horizons.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,435 Posts
@HumanBeing

This forum seems to attract Ne-types more than anything else. This is why I think the stereotypes about Se-dominants are so negative; Ne-types seem to dislike the Se perspective more than Ni-types, which makes sense, seeing as it isn't "valued" by them. In my experience, this forum can often feel a little hostile towards Se-dominant types, which might explain why there are so few active in comparison to other types (particularly INxPs, which seem to be the largest group).

Honestly, I struggle on this forum because most of the time my comments are not really appreciated because they are too "concrete," and the rest of my time is spent trying to defend "stupid sensors" and clearing up some of the huge misconceptions about certain types, particularly Se-dominants. It gets pretty frustrating after a while, my patience wears thin. :p

There is a popular stereotype that you will not find many sensors on the internet because they are too busy enjoying "the real world." This to me seems odd, surely spending time on the internet is enjoying the real world? Since when was the internet "not real"? I'm an ESFP and I enjoy experiencing things. This includes going online and interacting with people from all over the world. Or it might mean exploring virtual worlds, or even spending time researching my favorite topics, such as typology, etc.

I think a lot of the so-called "issues" between S v N that people talk about are actually just cultural and generational differences. It's pretty common to be the "only N child" in a family "full of SJs," for example. Feeling different, and isolated from your family and peers is not uncommon, I can completely relate to many of the threads in the INFP forum about how they feel "different" and "misunderstood." In fact, this is one of the reasons why I typed as ENFP for so long, because I related so much to feeling like I was part of a minority.

I feel that people try and use type to explain everything. I understand that people want answers, they want to be able to point at something and say, "THAT's IT! That's why I feel this way!" The problem with typology, is that, without proper self awareness and critical thinking, it can all too easily become another way to avoid taking responsibility for ourselves, and can actually stunt personal development and the individuation process. Type just becomes another "label" we slap on ourselves, mindlessly. It becomes another way to rationalize and justify all the negative and uncomfortable stuff, without forcing us to look deeper inside ourselves.

Whoa, that turned into a bit of a rant. Sorry. :p
 
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
Top