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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I could never think o an answer for this because you guys are usually so up beat and happy that it usually rubs off on the people around you, but what happens if someone is depressed or sad around you. Do you comfort them, try to snap them out of it by joking around or something, leave because they're boring etc.? And would it make a difference if that person was a friend, a stranger, or someone you dislike?
 

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If someone is depressed, I try to avoid them. Or at least inadvertently entice them to talk, say start talking to a person next to them or something like that. Unless it's a friend, then I find out what's wrong, right away!
 
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My friend, who is ESFP, usually just talks to them regardless. I think it may be an individual thing how each ESFP will approach different people. My friend isn't always upbeat either. She's just like any other type when it comes to moods. She seems to genuinely care about everyone until it becomes obvious that a particular person isn't worth giving a toss about. As stated above if I (a friend) were depressed she would be there, straight away! She's adorable like that.
 

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I usually try to bring people's moods up. If I can't, I give up right there and let them be miserable as they have the right to be, I just can't be around for too long as I get drained and too susceptible.
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
That's most understandable to me mostly since I wouldn't expect an ESFP to simply leave someone to themselves like that but you seem to value happiness a whole lot and are at the same time in touch with others feelings as well.
 

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That's most understandable to me mostly since I wouldn't expect an ESFP to simply leave someone to themselves like that but you seem to value happiness a whole lot and are at the same time in touch with others feelings as well.
I forgot an important detail, but wasn't sure of it's relevance so I'll just add fyi. When I myself am depressed I do the opposite and just withdraw hoping not to pass my own mood onto other people, I just can't stand the idea of me making someone miserable just because I am, so I tend to keep things to myself hoping. Also thinking acting happy will make me for real happy like the saying that goes something like you choose your mod or reactions and the one about trying to act happy eventually actually making you happy as well. Maybe my trying to bring others out of it is just me acting happy to rub off hopefully. I feel like one influences the other in any case. Hmm, I gotta stop trying to be all philosophical when I'm sleepy. Hopefully that makes sense, else I'll have to edit when more alert. XD
 
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I forgot an important detail, but wasn't sure of it's relevance so I'll just add fyi. When I myself am depressed I do the opposite and just withdraw hoping not to pass my own mood onto other people, I just can't stand the idea of me making someone miserable just because I am, so I tend to keep things to myself hoping. Also thinking acting happy will make me for real happy like the saying that goes something like you choose your mod or reactions and the one about trying to act happy eventually actually making you happy as well. Maybe my trying to bring others out of it is just me acting happy to rub off hopefully. I feel like one influences the other in any case. Hmm, I gotta stop trying to be all philosophical when I'm sleepy. Hopefully that makes sense, else I'll have to edit when more alert. XD
Ah yes I believe I do that too but in a less selfless way. I'm pretty curious about ESFPs in general so any detail is appreciated. I feel bad if I'm not getting depressed around someone who is unhappy though, I think it's because ISFJs are naturally Melancholic so mood swings are just a daily part of life more or less. I think the Fi is making us withdraw from other people, even if we think in slightly different directions or it may be a natural sensing feeling reaction.
Would it cheer you guys up or just make you feel more guilty if a person managed to comfort you?
And does it ever work when you act happy to cheer yourself up?
 

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Ah yes I believe I do that too but in a less selfless way. I'm pretty curious about ESFPs in general so any detail is appreciated. I feel bad if I'm not getting depressed around someone who is unhappy though, I think it's because ISFJs are naturally Melancholic so mood swings are just a daily part of life more or less. I think the Fi is making us withdraw from other people, even if we think in slightly different directions or it may be a natural sensing feeling reaction.
Would it cheer you guys up or just make you feel more guilty if a person managed to comfort you?
And does it ever work when you act happy to cheer yourself up?
Actually I also have that problem of feeling like I should be feeling bad when someone else is, and for a while wondered what was wrong with me because of when I couldn't. That's more recent though. It's a good thing because I'm much more useful that way lol. I am also rather melancholic and moody, but it's lessened with the lessening of depression. Strange how it feels natural for us to feel moodiness though, you'd think most people would feel there was something wrong, but it's only when it's more extreme I think that I feel like something is wrong, somewhere in the middle is good. Uf you're feeling guilty about someone needing to comfort you you have that in common with me as well, but I was sure that would be more of an Fe thing until more recently when the line between definitions for Fe and Fi got blurred for myself again XD If they succeed in bringing me up I'm grateful, I can say that too. I think the acting happy thing can work. It's when people reflect it back at me that makes it work though I'm pretty sure.
 
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Actually I also have that problem of feeling like I should be feeling bad when someone else is, and for a while wondered what was wrong with me because of when I couldn't. That's more recent though. It's a good thing because I'm much more useful that way lol. I am also rather melancholic and moody, but it's lessened with the lessening of depression. Strange how it feels natural for us to feel moodiness though, you'd think most people would feel there was something wrong, but it's only when it's more extreme I think that I feel like something is wrong, somewhere in the middle is good. Uf you're feeling guilty about someone needing to comfort you you have that in common with me as well, but I was sure that would be more of an Fe thing until more recently when the line between definitions for Fe and Fi got blurred for myself again XD If they succeed in bringing me up I'm grateful, I can say that too. I think the acting happy thing can work. It's when people reflect it back at me that makes it work though I'm pretty sure.
My friend has actually said the very same thing about thinking she is "supposed" to feel bad for others. Good thing she said straight after "Oh well there's only so much I can feel about anything at one particular time and I'd rather just enjoy it."

She put up a status on FB actually about how people flooding the facebook news feed (with all of those pages on cruelty to animals, illnesses, inhumane practices etc through the causes app.) It reads a little like: Hey people it's wonderful you care about all the sick animals but flooding facebook isn't actually doing anything but making us all feel a little shit and depressed because of it being so constant. Why don't you just give the cause some money or volunteer. Some of us do what we can and just get on with our lives and be happy about what we can do. can you?

I can see the similarities there....



Or maybe it's just good sense...
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Actually I also have that problem of feeling like I should be feeling bad when someone else is, and for a while wondered what was wrong with me because of when I couldn't. That's more recent though. It's a good thing because I'm much more useful that way lol. I am also rather melancholic and moody, but it's lessened with the lessening of depression. Strange how it feels natural for us to feel moodiness though, you'd think most people would feel there was something wrong, but it's only when it's more extreme I think that I feel like something is wrong, somewhere in the middle is good. Uf you're feeling guilty about someone needing to comfort you you have that in common with me as well, but I was sure that would be more of an Fe thing until more recently when the line between definitions for Fe and Fi got blurred for myself again XD If they succeed in bringing me up I'm grateful, I can say that too. I think the acting happy thing can work. It's when people reflect it back at me that makes it work though I'm pretty sure.
I don't necessarily feel guilty about being a burden on the people that comforted me, for me it's actually more of a self centered guilt at that point where I usually feel pathetic or embarrassed about showing such emotions. I'm always a bit neurotic in the sense that I take thoughts to the extreme and always somehow end up with "I'm doomed" or "EVERYTHING is wrong." etc.
Where does that moodiness come from for you? Does it usually come from events or just from thoughts that you get? I usually find that eventless days can depress me the most. I imagine it would get pretty exhausting to keep your spirits up if you're a melancholic though. Don't you ever wish to let someone know about how you feel when you're down? I can usually tell when an ESFP becomes a little more detached but sometimes it takes me a few days to realize what they meant when they said some things or acted a certain way. Do ESFPs ever mean something else than what they say or are they mostly direct?

@bethdeth I agree with what your friend says, I always ask myself why people put up those posts. It's very true that things like that can be more depressing than motivating
 

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Had an ESFP friend when I was down on my life, but I felt better around him. He offered to hang out some time I figure to smoke pot or something because I told him I'd never done it, and he thought that was pretty funny I never even tried it. Lack of dope could have been a factor.

Ignoring depressed people isn't a bad idea, regardless of type, but thanks to the ESFP who don't.
 
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