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Discussion Starter #1
Specifically an ISFJ. He really wants to understand me on a deeper level but INFPdom is just so hard to explain! I don't want to simplify anything, but I reciting INFP descriptions just seems like too much.

Any help/advice?
 

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Maybe write a note to him about who you are. Write down some hopes and dreams, anything no matter how ridiculous it seems. How do you relate to others? What is your goal for this life, the one thing you most wish to achieve? Ohhh then you could put it into a rhyming poem, even better!
 

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I don't usually have any problems communicating about this with ISFJs. I willl just say things like, "You know, I like to keep my options open," or, "I couldn't do that, you know, because it was WRONG..." The ones I've been around are pretty receptive.
 

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Maybe try explaining how Fi-Ne works for you. It doesn't have to be in MBTI terms, just general ones. I second the suggestion of a note, since it'll allow you to gather your thoughts. You could throw in words like "idealist," "healer," and "dreamer," if those apply to you.
 

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Give him description of Fi and Ne and say those are primary "lenses through which you view the world"
There are some decent descriptions here: ENFP Wiki
And here: personalitycafe.com/cognitive-functions/24032-intro-function-theory-more-detailed-descriptions-each-function-attitude.html

And then invite him to ask questions, so it is not just dry theory but that he sees how this applies to your life, the simple every day things and decisions you had to make. This way you are not stereotyping yourself with an MBTI profile.

I have in past told people that by MBTI I am INFJ and then they proceeded to read profiles and made some really wild conclusions so now I'd really rather try to explain introverted intuition to them and extraverted feeling, Jung's original functions, and leave profiling systems like MBTI, socionics, Kiersey, etc. out of it.
 

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I think it's a pretty hard task to properly convey our nature to most types. I think getting them to read the description, with a list of some things that are important to you or that you love. I did that with my ISFP mother along with a list of my favourite songs. I think you can tell a lot about somebody with this information. There are some things which she still just doesn't get but it did help quite a bit. Good luck. :happy:
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Thanks everyone ^^

The biggest problem I have explain who I am to him is he doesn't understand why I don't just go and do things rather than sitting around all day and daydreaming about them. It's not that I don't do anything...well, this is the INFP fourm.:happy: You guys understand.

Its unimaginably hard to explain your life lense to someone else:confused: But that you all so much for the help. I'll take your advice and get to studying those links.
 

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My whole family is a bunch of SJs, all 4 of them. I've concluded after 19 years of trying that it is impossible. :crying:
 

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Hah... do you truly want him to understand you? That's difficult. My ESFJ mom wants to understand me and has developed some pretty far-off ideas about who I am, but I'm okay with that... I mean, it's the effort that counts, right? I don't need her to know everything about me but if she feels that she does, I don't mind. Did that make any sense?
 

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Yes, that makes sense. :p And yes of course I truly want him to understand me. He's my boyfriend. My parents (ESTJ, ISXJ) have COMPLETELY far-off ideas of who I am, so I know what that's like. I can't say i'm okay with it though, more like i've stopped caring.
 

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Thanks everyone ^^

The biggest problem I have explain who I am to him is he doesn't understand why I don't just go and do things rather than sitting around all day and daydreaming about them. It's not that I don't do anything...well, this is the INFP fourm.:happy: You guys understand.

Its unimaginably hard to explain your life lense to someone else:confused: But that you all so much for the help. I'll take your advice and get to studying those links.

I don't think type has to be too huge of a barrier. I have an INFP friend who I think I understand well enough for us to be good friends and enjoy each other's company quite often. I don't think I understand everything about him, and I don't think he understands everything about me. And I think that happens among people of the same type, too. Of course, I know a romantic relationship is different.


For me, I think full understanding isn't as important as acceptance and cooperation. He may never completely understand why you don't want to go out and do things, and there are probably some things about him you'll probably never completely understand. But I think what's important is that he understands what is important to you and that he values that.

So I think that's the best thing to do...tell him what's important to you, and ask him what's important to him. Just say that even if it's different than what he likes or expects, the way he feels about what's important to him is the same way you feel about what's important to you.

I view myself as pretty empathetic, so ISFJ's certainly are capable of it, even though it's going to vary from person to person.

I also think it helps to focus on areas where the two of you have things in common. I like INFP's and INFJ's a lot because I feel so comfortable around them...I feel like I can be myself, let my soft side out, and not be judged or have to live up to any standards. So I think ISFJ's and INFP's can find a lot of harmony, even though they have their differences.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Thanks teddy! After lurking the ISFJ forum for a long time, i'd been hoping to hear from you. You always have great insight.:proud:
 

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Teddy is my favorite ISFJ on the forums <3
 

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Thanks teddy! After lurking the ISFJ forum for a long time, i'd been hoping to hear from you. You always have great insight.:proud:
rowingineden said:
Teddy is my favorite ISFJ on the forums <3
Awww....thanks. :happy: :blushed:

*smiles bashfully and looks at his feet modestly.
 

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Yes, that makes sense. :p And yes of course I truly want him to understand me. He's my boyfriend. My parents (ESTJ, ISXJ) have COMPLETELY far-off ideas of who I am, so I know what that's like. I can't say i'm okay with it though, more like i've stopped caring.
... OH. The boyfriend part blew over my head. oops, sorry, haha
 
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