[curious0610]

How do I ask an xNTx if things are ok? yesterday, a friend emailed me and said she wasn't coming to class because something came up. (highly unusual of her). i want to ask her if everything is okay but i dont like to talk about my feelings ("feeling' concerned) and i dont want to dig for personal information. i just want to express my concern in some way. what do i say and how do i frame it? thanks in advance for your help

notes:
-i know she's not sick because i saw her earlier in the morning
- next time i see her, it will be in class- i just want to say "is everything ok?' but i don't want to come off as nosy or motherly, or making a big deal out of it if it turns out she was just playing hooky for a day( which i understand, then i don't want to come off as patronizing her by checking up on her or something)
- ive just been feeling overwhelmed lately so i feel like i don't know how to do basic things or if im doing the right thing or what i should say and i dont know
- i am overwhelmed.

 

[Sage]

Just ask if everything's alright. If she doesn't elaborate then she doesn't want you in her business. You can drop it. It doesn't hurt to ask one time.
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[krnjason]

Why should you be worried if you come off motherly or nosey? If they are friends, then they will probably be thankful that you are worried in the way you are.

you shouldnt worry so much what kind of image you put off. Just do what you feel like. You should be the one shaping the world not the other way around.

 

[Navis Amoris]

Well, she did email you about it. That fact alone wouldn't make it nosey to ask in my opinion. Having said that you could just let it go. Maybe her cat died, or maybe her mom was standing next to the highway with a flat tire that she didn't know how to change. Could be a million things. Not showing up for one class isn't extremely dramatic even if it's unusual for her. If she doesn't say anything about it it's probably no big deal.

But if not asking her about it would cause you to feel worried about the situation, you should ask her even if just for your own sake. There's nothing weird about it. :happy:

 

[FromTheWorldUp]

It's no big deal unless you make it one with your words or non verbals. Just ask why she skipped. You'll just sound interested or curious. Your a friend that shouldn't be unusual or seen as nosey. Don't overthink it(I know that's probably hard to do but try). It'll be alright. :happy:

 

[penchant]

Well, you should've already sent your email by now, so my comment is probably moot. But if she is an NT, I don't think you need to worry about exactly how you phrase it. It really is the thought that matters...

 

[SteffiQueenOfTheNerds]

I would just ask her, there is nothing bad about someone that cares about you~
I know that I wish that I had more people in my life to worry about me like that.