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I recently started semi-romantically hanging out with this INTP. He refuses to leave his bedroom during the day and only leaves at night to party at select goth & indie bars, one of which he works at. He refuses to go anywhere with me because he is antisocial but invites me to his house to hang out in his bedroom for as long as he can get me to stay (one night always turns into two). He is a melodramatic hopeless romantic who refuses to date me and wants to be single forever, even though he has never been in a relationship longer than a month other than one long distance one. Oh yeah, he is a genius with a photographic memory too. Everyone makes fun of him all the time because he is so weird and he just laughs hysterically and finds it hilarious. Even if I say something that would normally hurt someone's feelings, he turns it into a dry joke and says he loves it when I do that.
He is very much his own person with his own opinions, artistic, philosophical, sweet, and lives in his own fantasy world that he has created in his own head. He is extremely picky about people and respects me because I am myself with a brain that I acknowledge & use and likes that I am sweet, beautiful, take care of myself, & am lady like. He claims he dislikes human affection but he always says really nice things to me, while at the same time will not hesitate to tell me when he thinks I am lude or look desperate on the dance floor. We both think fake people suck and therefore appreciate that we are both bluntly honest about what we think about one another and others.
He jokes that he is a vampire but if vampires were real he would definitely be one.
I am wondering if this is all just his way of avoiding facing his fears or if this is actually what he wants.
What do I do with this guy? I really enjoy his company and I think he is funny, intriguing, & extremely attractive, but I can't get him to hang out outside of his bedroom! He says all the time when I am over there that he wants me to meet this or that friend but has yet to ask me to hang out at a specific time and place to actually meet these friends. I have asked him to a party and he would not go. I have a busy life and it makes it almost impossible to pursue any type of relationship even if it is just friends with benefits.
Would anyone like to analyze this for me or offer any suggestions?
Oh yeah, we both hate dates. I don't like them because I have social anxiety. I am not exactly sure why he does not like them. I cannot blame him for not wanting to go on an actual date with me because I completely understand how horrible they are BUT there should not be any harm in hanging out casually with friends or just hanging out at each others house for a couple of hours instead of weekend extravaganzas.
He is very much his own person with his own opinions, artistic, philosophical, sweet, and lives in his own fantasy world that he has created in his own head. He is extremely picky about people and respects me because I am myself with a brain that I acknowledge & use and likes that I am sweet, beautiful, take care of myself, & am lady like. He claims he dislikes human affection but he always says really nice things to me, while at the same time will not hesitate to tell me when he thinks I am lude or look desperate on the dance floor. We both think fake people suck and therefore appreciate that we are both bluntly honest about what we think about one another and others.
He jokes that he is a vampire but if vampires were real he would definitely be one.
I am wondering if this is all just his way of avoiding facing his fears or if this is actually what he wants.
What do I do with this guy? I really enjoy his company and I think he is funny, intriguing, & extremely attractive, but I can't get him to hang out outside of his bedroom! He says all the time when I am over there that he wants me to meet this or that friend but has yet to ask me to hang out at a specific time and place to actually meet these friends. I have asked him to a party and he would not go. I have a busy life and it makes it almost impossible to pursue any type of relationship even if it is just friends with benefits.
Would anyone like to analyze this for me or offer any suggestions?
Oh yeah, we both hate dates. I don't like them because I have social anxiety. I am not exactly sure why he does not like them. I cannot blame him for not wanting to go on an actual date with me because I completely understand how horrible they are BUT there should not be any harm in hanging out casually with friends or just hanging out at each others house for a couple of hours instead of weekend extravaganzas.